Rock A Bye Baby
by subtleshadeofgrey
Summary: ATF Agents are hard men. When their bosses arrange for them to develop their softer side are they up to the challenge? And can two lonely men find the love they fear they will never know? Ezra/Vin Yes it's slash folks!
1. Chapter 1

ROCK A BYE BABY

Chapter 1

ATF AU

Ezra/Vin

Disclaimer: I own nothing of either the Magnificent 7 or whatever companies might make baby simulations.

Summary: ATF agents are hard men and they do a hard job That can sometimes cause PR problems so the guys with the fancy desks and all the power run a pilot programme to get their Agents in touch with their more gentle side. The first guinea pigs - the worst offenders of course-Team 7.

A/N: No, this isn't instead of Not a Keeper, that's on schedule as usual. I just had this pop into my head and the muse made me write it down. Don't know how you feel about slash but that's the way it demanded to be. It has humour, it has angst, it has romance…does it have any merit? Well that's not for me to say but it's fun to write and so I do.

Warnings: This is slash - well mostly pre-slash actually. It is mild and a bit sappy but although I didn't intend for it to be when I had the idea the guys thought differently - who am I, the mere author, to argue!

The team knew that something was up as soon as they walked into the conference room. Their leader, already seated with their unknown guest, was wearing the glare he reserved especially for the FBI, Government interference or their own undercover operative Ezra Standish. But Ezra wasn't in the room yet and the lady who was didn't seem like a politician or an Alphabet minion.

Buck shelved his curiosity and gave his partner and roomie JD Dunne a reassuring pat on the shoulder as they took their seats. Buck had known Chris and all his moods for half a lifetime and the glare didn't phase him but the kid, and at 23 that soubriquet was wearing a bit thin but he would always be the youngest, well the kid hadn't yet learned the difference between bark and bite.

As Ezra, last in as usual, closed the door and took his seat Chris Larabee, leader of Team 7 and all around total bastard - a description he took as a compliment, rose to his feet and clarified in a clipped statement, which Buck realised was suppressing as much exasperation as anger, that

"This was NOT my idea but it's compulsory under medical grounds so just shut up and take it…if I have to then so do you."

The others instantly became intrigued and in some cases wary. Neither Vin Tanner their sharpshooter nor Ezra were happy with anything medical. The others all knew it and all eyes were suddenly on the 'terrible two' as they had been nicknamed after they had proved time and time again that they could get into trouble just by being in close proximity to each other and gravitated toward hospital emergency rooms and their 'implements of torture' as Ezra had phrased it, like lemmings headed for a cliff.

A quiet "Ahem" brought their attention back to the top of the table and the unknown woman who had uttered it. She looked toward Larabee to start the proceedings. The team became attentive instantly.

Moira Carter was impressed at the control Larabee had over his team. She had been excited and apprehensive in equal measure since she had been put in charge of this project. If it proved a success then she would roll it out to other teams and other agencies. She had read the reports on Team 7 and she had to admit that whilst needing to keep their edge they could do with developing a more diplomatic approach in their work. Speaking of work, she was up.

… "so Miss Carter will explain this idea and the part we're all gonna have to play…And before you ask, no Ezra, there are no assignments coming up to get you out of this and Vin, your dodgy back won't get you out of it either."

Both men blushed at being so obvious in their aversion to whatever had been planned but the laughter at their embarrassment turned to one of shared horror as the terrible truth was revealed.

"Now gentlemen; as I am sure you are all aware, your team has the highest success record in the US, coupled with the highest commendation tally"….the men grinned but were soon sombre again as Moira continued…."and the highest complaint record." Only Larabee was unashamed at that, in fact he looked a little smug; well he wasn't nicknamed 'the bad element' for nothing.

"This program is designed to bring out your less aggressive qualities. It is hoped that while none of your well honed crime fighting instincts will be affected your people skills will improve tenfold."

"So what is this programme?" Josiah was excited at the prospect of participating in a sociological experiment but he had the feeling that his view would not be shared and that the lady was stalling."

She knew she couldn't prevaricate any longer. "It is our intention to partner you off and have you interact in the care and nurturing of a vulnerable dependent with the hope that it will leave you with a better understanding of both the victims of crime that you deal with on a daily basis and also each other, although the team building aspect will play a larger role in other units as I have been assured by Judge Travis that your working and personal relationships need no adjustment."

The initial pride at that was soon overcome by the implications in the first part of her speech. Buck threw his hand up in the air as though he were at school and the others snickered.

"Yes Agent Wilmington?"

"Are you trying to say that we're gonna have to do that kid thing of looking after an egg, cause I only like my eggs sunny side up."

The rest sat expectant… and terrified. _Please God no_.

"In a manner of speaking Agent Wilmington" she waited for the groans to pass. "This, however, is a much more high tech version. As I said you have been selected into pairs, by Judge Travis actually" That was met with a few nods of approval. "Each pair will then be expected to live together for the period of one month and care for an electronic simulacrum infant."

"Oh Cool!" broke in JD and then blushed as the focus turned on him, although his team mates eyes seemed a little glassy. "Sorry!"

"That's quite alright Agent Dunne" her briefing had singled him out as the tech geek of the team and she had expected his enthusiasm. She wondered if that enthusiasm would last when the reality set in.

Nathan Jackson, their medic, shivered at the thought of any of these men let loose on a baby, even a fake one. "Do you mean like those ones on TV reality shows?"

"Yes Agent Jackson, although these 'babies' are technologically more advanced."

Vin took most things in his stride and as long as doctors weren't trying to slice or dice him he was pretty ok with it. There was one thing that puzzled him though.

"Ma'am?"

"Yes Agent Tanner?"

"You said pairs but there's seven of us."

"I know Agent Tanner, don't worry that's been taken into consideration."

'As you'll see if you can all shut up for five minutes' Larabee's glare, directed at all his men equally didn't need a psychic to interpret; even their visitor got it and she smiled.

"Each pairing and the person chosen to be a single parent, will receive a semi-randomly selected baby to care for. By semi random I mean that the computer has been programmed with physical characteristics of both his or her 'parents'…eye colour, racial background, hair colour. It has been found that even with a model baby better results have been obtained if the participants can physically identify with the 'child'. The lone parent will have half the characteristics randomly selected to represent the absent parent.

Now these babies are quite advanced scientifically and the computer component will keep a running record of the progress of your 'fostering' In other words gentlemen, if you shove the dummy in the closet for the duration we will know about it." The resulting laughter was tinged with guilt as they had all contemplated variations of just that. "We will bring each couple their infant and explain how to care for them and you will be supplied with all necessary equipment and a users manual. You will also receive a journal which you can use to note down your personal feelings of your journey. These journals are your property and the use of them is optional. Some people find them useful and some don't but they are private and nobody but you need see them. At the end of one month the results will be analysed and you will return to this room for a debriefing. We also have a psychologist on standby so that if this process throws up any personal issues for you, you will have an outlet to discuss them. This too is optional and all normal patient confidentiality rules will apply."

Moira wasn't surprised at the stunned silence and she looked around the table as she gave them a few minutes for the idea to sink in. In some ways it was better when there was a female in a group as the men would gravitate to someone they felt was nurturing and the team bonding process would have a kick start. These men were starting out from a solid position already but if there were any cracks this exercise would reveal them.

"Well gentlemen, shall I give you your pairings?" The men nodded nervously.

"Please remember that this part of the process is the result of Judge Travis's knowledge of you all but since the simulacrums have already been programmed to set specifications any errors of judgement on his part are, I'm afraid, permanent. So….

"Agent Larabee, you will be paired with Agent Tanner." The two men nodded contentedly.

"Wait!" Buck was frowning. Sorry Ma'am but…Chris are you sure that…I mean y'know, not the partnering with Vin but…well…the baby thing…"

Vin's frown vanished as he realised that the problem wasn't with him and Chris. Buck was right; Chris Larabee had been a Dad and the reminders could be too much.

"It's OK Buck" Chris reassured his old friend. He too had balked at the idea of a baby. Not a day went by that he didn't miss Adam. In fact he had been offered a pass on this for personal reasons but a dummy wasn't remotely the same as a real live human and the organizers realised that while he wouldn't be able to interact on the same level as the others it would do the widower no harm and might even help him in settling his demons. "I've got a 'get out of jail free card' if it gets to be too much and to be honest I was such a workaholic when Adam was a baby that I didn't get to do as much with him as I would have liked so the memories of that time are pretty sparse….not a lot to trigger" They heard the slight self recrimination in his voice but also the sound of someone who had come to terms with the subject long ago.

Once Moira was certain that they were ready she continued.

"Mr Jackson, you have been paired with Mr Sanchez."

The two older Agents grinned. This should be as easy as pie. Nathan had all the medical knowledge and common sense and Josiah possessed infinite patience and a degree in psychology. Travis certainly knew his stuff.

"Mr Wilmington, you and Mr Dunne are the final pairing." Buck and JD shared a high five and then, along with the others, turned their gazes on their seventh. The odd man out.

Ezra had expected it and his face wore it's usual bland expression but inside he was a little hurt that once again he had been, literally, singled out. He didn't blame anyone, least of all the Judge. He too would have combined the exact same pairings as their boss had done.

"Agent Standish, I'm sorry, it is not the ideal situation but…"

"Please do not concern yourself dear lady. Ah quite understand your predicament; indeed there are many single parents out there coping quite magnificently and this will give even more realism to your project."

Moira Carter didn't know whether to melt at the smooth southern accent; drool at the polite and gentle response or throw herself to the floor in gratitude that he didn't kick up a fuss at having his part in the proceedings made even more difficult. As it was she kept her professional pride and thanked him kindly for his understanding.

"The last thing for today" she concluded, with a silent prayer of thanks, "is living arrangements. Agents Wilmington and Dunne, I understand that you already share an apartment so that's fine and Agent Standish, you will remain unaffected but for the rest of you, I think you would find it easier if you were able to share for the duration."

"We'll stay at the ranch if that's OK Vin? It'll make it easier to take care of the horses."

"No problem pard."

"Josiah, Rain is studying for her nursing exams all month and I don't think she'd appreciate too much hassle so can I move into yours?"

"By all means Nathan. I have plenty of room."

"Well" Moira concluded with a smile, "That's all sorted then. Now, you have been given tomorrow off to take delivery of your babies and Judge Travis has organised a get together at his home tomorrow afternoon so that you can all get to meet each other's offspring. After that it will be up to you to either arrange day care for your infant or, considering the nature of the exercise, and the special demands that your job makes on you, you will be permitted to bring the child into work as long as you carry on caring for it. I hope you enjoy the process gentlemen; we have had great success with it so far in other government departments and I'm sure that each of you will find some sort of benefit in the journey."

TBC

A/N Goodness knows what my muse was thinking when it hatched this plot bunny but I just couldn't resist. Please bear in mind, however, that like the team I know absolutely nothing about either child rearing or technology and, for once I don't think that any amount of research would help:D So please take this with a large pinch of salt!


	2. Chapter 2

Rock a bye baby chapter 2

For disclaimer see chapter 1.

Ez/Vin slash ( v. mild )

The new daddies take delivery of their little bundles of joy!

Chris Larabee sat in his office as his men went about their business, clearing their workloads in preparation for the coming month long experiment. Chris had hated the idea when it was put to him and he still hated it now that it was about to become a reality. His team were there to protect the citizens of Denver and it's environs from gun runners and other high end criminals, not to take PR lessons from sociologists. And yet he had to admit that once the shock had worn off his men had seemed more relaxed than they had in a while. It had been a tough year which had nearly resulted in them losing Ezra and Vin to a mobster's bullets . Perhaps they all needed this respite from the tension. Then he remembered his own experience of trying to get Adam back to sleep at three in the morning and he smiled a wicked little smile. After a month of screaming infants arms dealers would be a breeze.

By the time five o'clock rolled round most of the other teams had stopped by to 'congratulate' the new parents. Their delight in the suffering of team 7 ended when they were informed that not only were they next on the planned schedule of guinea pigs but that Ezra's eidetic memory was being put to good use in remembering exactly who they would need to 'thank' for their comments when the whole thing was over. A quick look at Ezra's placid countenance and Chris's feral grin had most of them making hasty departures.

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Moira Carter's first stop next morning was to the residence of Josiah Sanchez. It seemed that his parenting partner had been as excited as the profiler since he had moved in straight away, the previous evening, and was waiting with Josiah for her arrival. On paper this pairing were predicted to do extremely well and their enthusiasm was a good start.

Nathan had slept surprisingly well in Josiah's spare room. A good nights sleep had gone some way to dispelling the memory of Rain's disbelief and, even more humiliatingly, her laughter, at the thought of him as a parent. Considering that they had recently been discussing whether to try for a baby immediately after their marriage in ten months time it didn't do much for his self esteem. Her apology and explanation that it was the combination of him and Josiah that she found funny had been slightly soothing but the frequent bursts of giggles and texting of friends had undermined the effect. Still he didn't see how hard it could be…what did she know anyway….just because she was a paediatric nurse.

Josiah was confident that they were going to win this competition hands down. He still wasn't quite sure how exactly it had become a competition, although he'd put his money on Ezra being somewhere at the heart of it…that and the building wide betting pool that had sprouted within hours. But he had the utmost confidence in his and Nathan's natural nurturing abilities… and the stack of baby books that they had purchased on the way home. From what he could gather these simulacrums were very much like real babies in their needs and responses. So what would work for flesh and blood should be adaptable for plastic and computer chip.

Both men stared down at the seemingly extremely small doll in it's carrier that Moira Carter set upon the dining room table.

"Shouldn't it move or something?" asked Nathan as he reached out a long finger to give it a poke.

Josiah batted his hand away but then couldn't resist giving the carrier a nudge.

No reaction.

Moira watched with amusement evident on her features. They nearly always reacted like this at first. She also loved the look of embarrassment that always followed her statement of

"It hasn't been activated yet gentlemen."

"Oh!" Came the joint reply and twin blushes.

Moira smiled and handed over a set of books.

"Gentlemen. These are your bibles for the next four weeks. The thickest one is the user manual for your baby….don't panic" she reassured them as they stared with horror at the tome. This includes the technical specs. This" she held up a thinner publication "contains the day to day instructions for use. The last three are your log book and private journals. So Josiah, Nathan, are you ready to meet your baby?"

Both men looked down at the very realistic infant, which seemed to be about ten or so weeks old. The baby had coffee coloured skin and a decent head of dark brown hair. They knew that the eyes, if they had been opened, would be chocolate brown just like Nathan's. They nodded at the sociologist.

"Congratulations gentlemen, it's a boy." Both men looked at Ms Carter in surprise. Somehow, for some reason, they had not expected the ersatz child to have a gender. Moira was used to that reaction too and didn't embarrass either agent by calling them on it. "So, can I put a name down on your records?"

She agreed to a nice cup of tea while a hasty discussion took place. The result was duly noted and with a touch of a key on her laptop baby Michael, Joseph, Sanchez - Jackson was activated.

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"Goodness, this is quite a…er…unique apartment" Moira exclaimed as she was admitted to Casa Wilmington - Dunne. The previous evening had seen a tidying campaign of epic proportions but somehow the atmosphere of 'bachelor pad' was still strong. JD figured that the large posters of semi-naked women and motorbikes…and semi-naked women ON motorbikes didn't help much….but at least you could now see the carpet and the throw pillows were fluffed. He nudged the empty…well probably empty…pizza box under the sofa with his foot as Buck worked his charm on the attractive bringer of their bundle of joy.

Unlike Josiah and Nathan JD snapped up the technical manual while Buck took custody of the simplified 'Babies for Dummies' version. Also unlike their two colleagues the less organized agents had name selections ready and the choice of Bucklin John Junior was bestowed on the black haired blue eyed infant. Their confidence rapidly died, however, the moment Moira activated the child and it began to cry. Moira left to the sight of JD frantically consulting the index of the manual while Buck held two sets of earplugs aloft triumphantly.

Moira reflected that she wouldn't want to be the person who had backed that duo in the betting pool…there was always a betting pool!

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"I…um…I'm sorry Ms Carter. Chris had a previous engagement he couldn't cancel. He sends his apologies." Vin thought that sounded a lot better than the actual words his leader and best friend had spoken which had gone something like … 'Tell the damn woman that I'll be out with the horses doing something useful with my time rather than play house with my Barbie dolls.' From Moira's sympathetic smile he didn't think she was fooled but she obviously took pity on him, for which he was grateful.

Moira sighed quietly. She had been unsure of the widower's ability to deal with this kind of situation and it looked like she was right. It wouldn't reflect negatively on Mr Tanner's final assessment but she felt sorry for the soft spoken Texan. She handed him the requisite paperwork and was quite touched as the supposedly hardened agent gently caressed the small fingers of his infant. He had been the only one so far to touch his simulacrum…it was always a good sign. She introduced the blue eyed man to his blue eyed, blond haired 'daughter' who he immediately named Alice May Tanner - Larabee, explaining that the names were those of his mother and grandmother. Part of her noted that their leader seemed to have played no part in the naming. She understood completely since choosing a name for his lost son would have been a special memory; she was pleased to note, however, that Vin had personalized his choice. Messers Buck and JD had just chosen their own first names, explaining that neither would inflict such names on any future real offspring and , of course, the first two agents visited had done the verbal equivalent of sticking a pin at random into a book. She had good feelings about Vin Tanner but feared he was going to be almost as much a single parent as his colleague Mr Standish. And that was her final stop…she was not looking forward to explaining to the agent that the computer generated these things totally at random. The poor man!

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Ezra P. Standish was one of the best undercover agents in the business, possibly THE best.

He was unflappable, unshakeable, and prepared to overcome any possible situation no matter how dangerous or difficult.

He had been trained by, and survived, the FBI.

He had been raised by, and survived, Maude Standish.

He had the sudden urge to sit down, and possibly faint.

He, of course, did neither. Instead he accepted Ms Carter's apologies and explanations with his normal grace and good manners. He listened to the instructions and accepted the books and other paraphernalia he was offered.

He then looked down and watched as Moira introduced him to his brown haired 'son' who he named Ethan Patrick Standish, after his grandfather and his father.

And his blond haired 'daughter' who was given the names Victoria Rose after a favourite Aunt and his paternal grandmother.

Moira had only ever had to 'deliver' twins twice before and neither had been a pleasant occasion. It was the first time a single parent had been so allocated and she wouldn't have blamed agent Standish if he had attempted to turn one away…not that he could technically but an exception might have been argued. However the look of pain on his face as he refused to abandon either child as unwanted, despite their unreal status, sent a shiver down her spine; those treated the least well in their own childhoods were often the ones who became most involved in the program. As the southerner stroked the hair of the little girl she saw a kindred spirit with the team's sharpshooter. She hoped that they would help each other out since they seemed to have been given the greatest burdens.

As with the other participants she handed over all that they would need to care for their infant along with clothing and a special diaper which connected to an access point so that computer information could be recorded. This, she explained, was how the babies worked. They cried and even moved about, their eyes and mouths opened and shut but they did not actually drink or perform other bodily functions. They did, however, send through body language and verbal communication, signs of these functions. The little bodies registered body temperature and water temperature when being bathed, yes they were waterproof. They also registered the temperature of the milk that was heated for them…that being one of the tasks whose competency was marked. And the amount of time left unattended, with an unchanged diaper or not cuddled were also recorded and submitted to the central computer. She made it clear to Ezra, as she had done to the others that all details would be collated and an overall assessment would be given. She then wished him, as she had the others, good luck…thinking that he would perhaps need more than most, before activating his twins and leaving him gazing down at two sets of intense green eyes.

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JD had quickly worked out how to unplug the diaper from the babies torso, plug it into the accompanying laptop to download the instruction which confirmed that said garment had been 'changed' and return the pin to it's connector which switched from red to green indicating that the body had accepted a successful diaper change.

Buck removed his earplugs with a sigh of relief and wondered where he'd put his half eaten pizza from the night before.

Nathan and Josiah were studiously ignoring the cries of their infant. They had checked that it's cry did not indicate hunger or diaper issues and had followed the instructions in the baby care book that they had purchased which recommended a structured approach to attention giving. It was by a renowned baby author and would obviously give the duo an edge over those following the guidelines on general baby care in the official manual. Nathan carefully entered their reasoning in both the log book and the journal and to their delight the sounds of distress cut off ten minutes later.

Unseen by the two men a red LED flashed for a few seconds before the infant settled into 'sleep mode'

Chris Larabee, upon finally meeting his and Vin's 'offspring' immediately laughed and accused Vin of having an affair with Mary Travis, the blond haired daughter in law of their boss and watched with a mixture of exasperation and bemusement as his friend, who seemed to be taking things a little too seriously, set up the sterilizer which would record the cleanliness of the baby bottles, another task to receive marks. As far as the leader of team 7 was concerned anything which might cast doubt on the tough image of said team could do nothing but harm. So they were occasionally a little sharp with members of the public and the media but they'd usually just saved their asses or averted a possible massacre or two so he figured that they deserved to be cut some slack. Of course it was a rock and a hard place situation. Get a too good assessment on this and lose your rep'. Get a bad one and endure months of mandatory psych appointments. He watched as Vin fussed, smirking at the sudden display of domesticity. He'd let Vin play house and keep his own reputation as a surly bastard intact. Best of both worlds…a favourable assessment and a still strong 'bad element' image.

Vin frowned in annoyance. He knew that Chris was finding this difficult but did he have to be so dismissive. Not to play down his grief, a grief which Vin wouldn't wish on anyone; but he had a sort of grief of his own…a secret one that nobody could understand. His friend could still have another family, which while never able to replace the one he had lost would at least help fill the empty space in the man's heart; Well, it would if he'd get off the fence with Mary. But how could he explain that this was as close as he would ever get. That for someone who was more likely to fall in love with a man than a woman babies were a pipe dream. Well unless you were rich and or famous and could afford a surrogate baby - and even then he was sure that would go down like a lead balloon with the Federal authorities. Don't ask don't tell only went so far. This was his pale reflection of a chance to find out what sort of father he would have been. He just couldn't tell Chris that…not when he hadn't even told the man that he swung both ways.

Ezra had successfully completed one double feeding and a single diaper change and was completely unaware that his thoughts of loneliness and the unlikelihood of ever being a parent were mirroring his sharpshooter colleague's. He was aware, looking down at the sleeping babies, that even though he could not remember her he would always feel the missing space in his heart left by the loss of his own twin who had not survived more than a few hours after birth.

He frowned suddenly, and pursed his lips. He was also aware that no child of his, be it real or simulated, was going to be seen around town in such repulsive garments. He just had time for a quick shopping trip before their rendezvous at the Travis's home for afternoon tea. He then took note of all the items he would need to take on his journey, including the babies, and decided that the days of doing anything quickly were gone for the next month.

TBC

Thanks so much for giving this a try. It may be a little odd but at least it's different! And no, our lonely boys are not aware of each other yet but I'm sure that the babies will bring them closer together soon. Also since I'm British I may get some terminology wrong baby-wise. I'm aware of diaper instead of nappy and pacifier instead of dummy but please don't hesitate to correct me…it's the only way I'll learn.


	3. Chapter 3

Rock A Bye baby chapter 3

Disclaimer - see ch1

Vin/Ez - slash folks

Thanks so much for all the support ( especially Marie - your comments meant a lot ) Hope you all enjoy this latest offering.

The guys get to meet each others little darlin's and we start to see differences in parenting style!

.

Evie Travis was nervous. Which was silly because she had met all the men of Team 7 several times…and it wasn't as though the babies were real. Nevertheless she fretted about how the very macho men would react to sudden parenthood. She knew that Chris would have a hard time, or, conversely, bury his feelings completely and pretend that none of his past memories were connected to his present feelings. She knew this because it's probably what she, herself, would do. And she had been fortunate enough to have her Stephen in her and Orrin's lives a lot longer than Chris had poor Adam. Losing a child was never easy, and never natural. But she knew that Buck would be there for him, and Vin if the taciturn leader would let him. No her greatest worry was for their seventh, their black sheep as Josiah liked to call him. Her worry was for Ezra Standish.

And if asked, and Orrin had done just that, many times, she really couldn't give a logical reason. It wasn't as though the chestnut haired and green eyed southerner in any way reminded her of her Stephen, they were chalk and cheese in both looks and personalities but somehow the sneakiest, most aloof and independent of the seven carried with him an aura of vulnerability that she couldn't ignore. And she couldn't explain why she seemed to be the only one to see it. But she did, and somehow she also knew that this task would prove either impossibly difficult, after all he had been selected as the lone parent…and hadn't she had a few choice words for her husband over that selection. Or he would rise to the occasion and convince everyone yet again of his impervious nature. But she wouldn't be fooled and she saw more than a couple of 'I just happened to be passing by, Mr Standish' visits in her calendar. And he wouldn't say it but he wouldn't be fooled either…and that was how they played their game.

Her ears picked up a stuttering, spluttering engine. Definitely not the Jaguar. The vehicle made a last coughing gurgle which was followed by silence.

Ah, Mr Sanchez…punctual as usual.

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Ezra P Standish was nothing if not resourceful. It was obvious that time would not allow him to shop before attending his afternoon engagement, not with two babies and their accoutrements in tow. So he did what any normal, needful and time disadvantaged parent would do,

He called Georgio.

Less than ten minutes later Ezra was hanging up his phone with a sigh of satisfaction. He checked that the babies were sleeping peacefully, a rare occurrence in his own babyhood if his mother, Maude, was to be believed, and waited for his delivery, taking time to thoroughly review the users manual. He knew that he could rely on Georgio to supply his needs without question. He made himself a little private wager, however, that his request for a complete baby outfit suitable for a ten or so week old girl and another suitable for a similarly aged boy would have caused the unflappable man to at least raise an eyebrow. But Georgio was used to strange requests from one of his best customers.

Upon moving to a new city the first thing on Ezra's to do list was always to find the best delicatessen (with a delivery service), nearest Starbuck's and the best quality menswear store. In Denver's case the best menswear store was a part of an old independent department store and he had taken great pains to get to know the floor manager there. It garnered him a better service and created less fuss when he needed to make strange sartorial requests for his undercover assignments. He had found an excellent helper in Georgio, one might almost call him a friend if Ezra believed in such things as friendships…though he had been revising his opinion on that subject since joining Larabee's team. He paused in his reading to smile at the thought of Georgio venturing from his own hallowed halls of Armani ( no relation despite the shared first name ) to the children's department on the next floor down. It would almost equal the time he had been sent to obtain the floor length evening gown he had needed for the Wicks case.

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"What do you mean 'it clashes'. It's a dummy, Dummy; how can it clash?!"

Chris was at his wits end already with his so-called easy going partner. First the insistence that they both read the manual, well the simplified one, thank God for small mercies. His argument that it only needed one of them to know how to plug in a diaper not going down too well. He immediately cut off the memory of a similar argument with Sarah over diaper changing not going so well either. And now, as if Mommy dearest hadn't already gone all Stepford he was unhappy with the baby's outfit.

"Should change your name to Ezra" Chris muttered…..very quietly. He'd already had the lecture of not waking sleeping simulacrums and Vin had that stubborn mule like look. The one that wouldn't take kindly to insults, no matter how friendly.

"Heard that."

"Damn ears of a cat…with the brain of a mule in between them."

Vin ignored the comments. Nothing wrong in being alert or single minded. And he couldn't see what was bad in being likened to Ezra. The man was smart and attractive; and HE would have seen why the garment wasn't suitable immediately.

"The baby is blond and the dress is yellow…and the shades clash. She needs something…dunno, pale green or blue maybe." Vin wasn't sure where all these feelings were coming from; he was perfectly aware that the baby wasn't real; but he also knew his own mind and his own heart and this time his heart definitely had the upper hand.

"Blue is for boys."

"Sexist."

Chris did a slow count to ten and then watched in exasperation as Vin grabbed his car keys and left him to watch the baby while he nipped to the nearest WalMart.

Sarah used to do a lot of that too.

The baby began to cry as soon as the jeep headed down the drive. Chris sent the infant a classic Larabee glare before stalking to the kitchen for a strong black coffee. And no, the baby's wails did not increase at the look on his face; not at all.…absolutely not.

Five minutes later the onboard little non-compliance LED flashed red before blessed silence filled the house.

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"Hurry up Buck we're gonna be late for the Travis' tea party." JD jiggled Junior as he fed it it's computerised bottle. It was something that he was sure he'd seen his Mom do with his younger cousins when she was babysitting them. He didn't realise how long it took to successfully complete the feeding task however. He peered closer at the bottle. He would have to look on the net to see if he could find out more about the technology. It was obvious that the bottle recorded the temperature of the milk and the time taken in feeding. The temperature control would be too difficult to alter but it shouldn't take more than a tweak or two to reduce the preset timer.

"Hell kid, didn't you know that mothers are supposed to be late…it shows they put their offspring first." Buck emerged from the bedroom as he finished buttoning his shirt, plain in deference to the occasion…plain neon orange that is.

"Only thing you put first is your…."

"Hey!" Buck interrupted with a broad smile and a waggling of both his index finger and his eyebrows. "No adult talk in front of Buck Junior"

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"Thank you for the prompt service" Ezra thanked the courier and presented him with a handsome tip…it always paid to keep on the good side of service providers. Within moments he had swapped the basic, serviceable yet undeniably dull plain white outfits for a pretty pale blue dress, bootees and matching knitted jacket with little white flowers for Victoria and a darker blue outfit with a heart motif for Ethan. He would have to do something special for Georgio as a thank you…the man had a wedding anniversary coming up soon which should provide ample opportunity.

Vin returned from his shopping trip with more than a little trepidation. Chris had to be left with the baby eventually but perhaps it was too soon.

"How was Alice?" he asked as he slipped her into a summery pink dress adorned with little white teddy bears, and a white jacket with lace trim.

"Thought you didn't want to be sexist…pink for a girl?"

"Not to use pink would be reverse sexism."

Chris shook his head. He thought he knew how his sharpshooter's mind worked….obviously not.

"So, how was she?" Vin asked again.

"Fine, no trouble. Quiet as a mouse."

"Good" Vin smiled and Chris felt a momentary twinge of guilt.

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"Oh Josiah, Nathan! He's so realistic! Evie couldn't resist the urge to take hold of the little fingers and gasped as they curled around her larger digit.

Josiah chuckled. "Well they've certainly got the sound of a real baby down. He's got a set of lungs on him that would rival a Swiss yodeller."

"How have things gone so far"

Now that was a question that, Orrin reflected, he wouldn't mind an answer to. This project was a double edged sword from his point of view. If his men failed then they would face mandatory psyche evaluations and they would make his life hell. On the other hand if they passed with flying colours then he would be forced to roll out the idea to his other teams. Team three could barely look after themselves let alone an infant. They would be in therapy until they were drawing their pensions.

"Things are going fine Mrs Travis" replied Nathan with a nod as their host insisted on being called Evie. "The instructions are pretty clear and we've gotten a book on baby psychology to give us an edge."

Evie raised her eyebrows. You need psychology books to raise babies now? In her day you needed a knowledge of how to protect, feed, change and bathe them, and an infinite amount of love and patience. Well, that and a little psychic talent with the ability to be in at least two places at once. The rest you learned as you went along. She didn't say anything though. Everybody had their own way.

Buck and JD arrived squabbling as usual with Buck insisting that with more ladies to give his attentions to he shouldn't have to perform baby sitting duties and JD shamelessly playing the 'too young for the responsibility' card.

Evie shook her head fondly. Despite his image she was convinced that Buck would make a wonderful father if he ever actually settled down, and she wasn't sure that it was fear of losing a child like he had seen Chris do that prevented his commitment. She just couldn't see him being a good parent to what he obviously regarded as a toy.

Hot on Buck and JD's heels came Chris and Vin, and the atmosphere became just a little more tense at the strange look on their leader's face. The tension soon turned to puzzled amusement as the reason for that 'look' became clear.

Chris moved out of the way of his partner as the lanky long haired agent bustled past with the crying infant. He was immediately corralled by the other men as Evie homed in on her first sight of an active needy simulacrum…and it's doting parent. She smiled as he allowed her to help with the diaper change and explained the process , laughing at her comments of how lucky he was not to have a fully biological specimen.

Chris stood in a semi circle of his men, his friends, brothers even….the people who liked and trusted him. So why were they looking at him like his partner's obvious and sudden insanity was all HIS fault.

"Chris?" Josiah's voice had that calm quality that annoyed everyone so much. The one that he used when trying to persuade a bad guy not to shoot…which usually wound them up so much that they ended up running for cover as the bullets flew. Or trying to coax Ezra to stay in the hospital or at least to climb back in from the window ledge and let the nice nurse replace the catheter and I.V.'s.

"Don't blame me" Chris snarled as Evie admired the new pink dress and made Vin blush a fetching shade of pink himself.

"You mean he's been like this from the start?" Buck's surprise was shared by the others. Like their leader they had always figured Vin for the archetypal loner.

"Yep." replied Chris. "Took one look at it and he was gone. Even named it after his mother, Alice."

"Don't know why you're all so surprised" piped up JD. At their puzzled expressions he clarified his statement. "Vin loves kids. Look at all that time he spends with the kids in Purgatorio."

"But these" Chris waved his hand toward the other babies "aren't real."

"Yeah, but Vin can't turn who he is on and off. If he's the nurturing sort with kids on a regular day to day basis it's going to be automatic. Makes sense" Nathan's support of his statement made JD swell with pride but his next comment had them all looking at him askance again.

"Bet Ez'll be the same."

"Kid, quit while you're ahead" Buck chuckled.

"Yeah JD. I know that Ezra does some fund raising for the hospital but I'm sure that's just some tax dodge. He's a good man but the only one he really cares about is Ezra P Standish."

JD hadn't expected anything else from Nathan, who despite his admiration for Ezra's skills was not enamoured of his lifestyle, or at least what he perceived his lifestyle to be. But he shook his head at the agreement of the others.

"Speak of the devil" Josiah announced as they all heard the smooth purr of the Jaguar XF's V8 engine heralding the arrival, fashionably late of course, of their seventh.

Evie cast a glance at her husband as the sound of the car's engine died away. She bit her lip to stifle the mirth that always threatened when he reacted to that sound. She hated to remember the time a few months earlier when it hadn't been certain that Ezra would survive the three bullets that had been pumped into him at the bust from hell. The only good parts of that time were when they were given the news that he and Vin would make full recoveries; that and the sight of Orrin's face as Ezra presented him with a requisition for a new car to replace the wreck filled with holes sitting awaiting the attentions of a crusher. With a written agreement to replace new for old and like for like as part of his contract Orrin had no choice to replace the aging, top of the range for it's day Jag with today's equivalent. All ninety thousand dollars worth. Poor Orrin, she mused and then, with the rest of those gathered she gasped at the sight in the now open doorway.

Chris was the first to react, and contrary to his normally grim stoicism he reacted by bursting into immediate and unrestrained laughter. Josiah and Nathan took a little longer than Buck and JD but were undoubtedly the loudest, and even Orrin managed a few sniggers. So Ezra was grateful for the two sympathetic reactions he did get, as both Evie and Vin dashed across the room to help with the two carriers and the large baby bag.

"Heck pard what did they do to ya?" Ezra felt a warmth infuse him at the concern in his friend's voice and Evie's warm glance as she relieved him of Ethan's carrier made him miss Maude for some inexplicable reason.

After the initial reaction which earned them twin glares from Vin and, to their chagrin, Evie the men gathered round the two new babes.

"Not identical then?"

"Hardly, Mr Wilmington" replied Ezra as the brown haired and blond haired babies wriggled endearingly and pursed little sleeping lips. "Especially since one is a boy" he indicated the brown haired child "Ethan Patrick" and the other a girl, Victoria Rose."

The others immediately 'introduced ' their offspring at which Buck queried "If it's a girl why's it in blue? See, Vin's is a girl and it's in pink."

"Don't go there Buck" warned Chris but Ezra was already defending his colleague's choice, much to Vin's delight…he'd known that the other man would understand; they often saw things the same way though they got there by different routes.

"Ah am sure that Mr Tanner's choice of colour was made purely on the basis of what suited his baby. He is no more constrained by tradition than am I." Ezra was glad when he'd heard of Vin's personalization of his infant's attire. It made him feel a little less isolated. He turned to a gratefully smiling Vin. "Indeed Mr Tanner that is a most fetching garment… I feel that I may have to re-appraise mah opinion of that particular store."

The others backed away slowly, as if facing a coiled snake, a drugged up perp or Nathan wielding a herbal tea as the two grown agents proceeded to regale each other with their experiences to date. Crazy; the both of them were crazier than Daffy Duck on speed. JD gave his elders an 'I told you so' smile.

"Mr Tanner" Ezra enquired in a low, just between us, voice as they sat down to a sumptuous spread laid on by Evie with the tongue in cheek comment that 'mothers have to keep their strength up'

"Yeah Ez?"

"I was wondering what you were planning to do with any extra garments and accessories you may have purchased at the end of this trial?"

"Hadn't really thought Ez, give them to some charity I suppose. Why?" Vin kept his voice low to match Ezra's. When he was talking sneaky like this he was usually planning a prank or about to do something nice that he didn't want people knowing about…though why he didn't want his friends knowing when he was doing something nice he couldn't figure. Then he remembered Nathan's attitude to the hospital fund raising and thought perhaps he did get it after all. Either way he felt a strange pride that this most private and shy of men would take him into his confidence.

"Well Ah happen to know of a women's refuge that would be welcoming of any good quality baby clothes. The poor ladies often arrive with very little in the way of possessions due to a hurried departure from the abusive home."

"Sounds like a fantastic idea Ez. I'm in." The smile of gratitude; the innocent genuine smile that showed off the gleaming gold tooth and made the jade eyes duck under the long dark eyelashes made Vin almost shiver with delight. It was the rarest of expressions that the normally poker faced southerner allowed himself and Vin was astounded that he had coaxed it out to play.

Ezra was delighted that Vin was supportive of his request. It was so rare that his requests were not treated with suspicion or ridicule and Vin was probably the only person other than his mother who would see the genuine wish to help another human being lurking inside his convincing, though fake, self serving shell. Of course his mother would have given him a lecture about looking after number one…just before a car load of brand new items arrived anonymously on the refuge's doorstep. His mother's cold shell only being a little more genuine than his own.

At that moment a plaintive wail could be heard coming from the lined up row of baby carriers on the floor by the couch. Nathan craned his head to see which one was the culprit. At that moment another wail added itself to the not so musical sound. He grinned.

"Your two Ez." The rest of the men breathed sighs of relief as Ezra got to his feet thanking Evie's foresight to provide a cold buffet. Both Evie and Vin also stood and moved to follow but Vin waved her back.

"You've done enough for us already ma'am. I've got Ez's back."

Evie watched as Ezra blushed at the support of his friend and Vin blushed simply because Ezra had.

'_I'm sure you have Mr Tanner…I'm sure you have. Just as I'm sure that Ezra has yours. I just don't think that either of you realise exactly what you have yet.' _Evie thought with a smile.

'_This project might result in some of the seven getting in touch with more than just their feminine side'_ she conclude her private thought with a chuckle, ignoring her husband's puzzled glance as she went back to her meal. One eye on the two tough agents as they fussed happily over the now gurgling babies.

TBC

A/N Hope you enjoyed. I love it when our boys get all shy and adorable.


	4. Chapter 4

Rock A Bye Baby Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Even when they don't want them anymore they won't let me have them. (sigh)

A/N: As far as I am aware there is no independent department store named Hubbard's. But any similarities are purely coincidental.

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Ezra peered at the clock on his bedside table. The only good time to see the eighth hour was when it was followed by the letters pm. Unfortunately whoever was encouraging his phone to make that abominable noise was not of the same opinion. Also unfortunately given the possibility of emergencies arising due to his job he couldn't just ignore it.

"Hello, may Ah ask who is callin' me at this most unsocial time on a Saturday?"

"Mornin' Ez."

"Mistah Tannah, to what do Ah owe this disgustingly cheery greetin'? May Ah point out that there are any number of places in the world where it is still the middle of the night…And mah abode is one of them"

Vin smiled at the sound of the sleep thickened southern drawl.

"Sorry Ez." Vin was glad that Ezra couldn't see the smile which seemed to belie his words. He **was **genuinely sorry, but a cranky Ezra always made him laugh.

"If you are going to fake sincerity Mr Tanner, you are going to have to practice…I can practically see your unrepentant grin from mah feather bed."

Vin laughed at the obviously non - offended tone but gulped nervously as he added

"I may have to get my mother to give you lessons. If Ah remember correctly she was quite taken with you when last we met her."

"Y…ya wouldn't….would ya?" The horror didn't bear contemplation. Vin was one of the few of the seven to actually like the force of nature that was Maude Standish but she gave the expression man eater a whole new level of fear.

"Lord Vin, I could be connin' the devil himself and I wouldn't inflict my Mother on him. Now I do believe that there was a purpose to your call, and I am presuming that it does not involve harm or danger to our colleagues since you would have already ensured my rapid departure from this place. However since you have awoken me at this ungodly hour I am also presuming that it is of importance to you personally. You do not usually call me so early."

"You're right Ez, it's this damn baby bottle sterilizer; it's bust and it's not as if I can pop out to the shop for a replacement, what with these computer connections and all. I rang the helpline and they can get me a new one by tonight but I'm down to my last bottle here.. I've already tried the others but they seem to think a few fails on my record will help them in this competition that's sprung up."

"And Ah am your last hope?" Ezra couldn't help the hurt he felt from leaking out into his voice at being the last person Vin would consider asking for assistance. He felt the tension leave him rapidly, however, at the Texan's reply.

Vin could have kicked himself over the way his request had come out. No one knew better than he did how insecure the southerner could be. "Heck no Ez! You were my first choice; knew you'd understand and put the baby first, put our friendship first. Just didn't want to wake ya that's all."

"Well Mister Tanner you are, of course, correct. I would never abandon you in your hour of need. Please feel free to avail yourself of my equipment at your convenience."

Vin swore to himself, under pain of torture, or even worse, an evening with Maude, that he would never tell a living soul of the mental picture that sprang into his mind at that innocent statement.

"Are you still there Mister Tanner?…Vin?"

"Uh yeah Ez, sorry about that, I thought I heard the baby crying but I guess I was wrong." Vin dragged his brain back on track. "I could come over any time today, though I'll have to bring Alice as Chris is helping Miz Nettie round up some strays this morning."

On seeing the effort involved in caring for the simulacrums Orrin Travis had given his men extra days off to acclimatise themselves but unfortunately the needs of ranching doesn't play fair. Vin didn't think that his leader had to be so pleased about getting out of the house though.

"That will be fine Vin. If you come over in about half an hour I can provide breakfast and maybe we can take a little trip. I have to visit a friend and we are awarded extra points for socialising outside team circles." Ezra hoped that his desire for company didn't show through his normal even tone.

Vin didn't need to think long or hard about Ezra's proposition. He also didn't think it necessary to point out that he had already eaten his breakfast…it **had **been nearly two hours ago and he could always find room for more. Besides if he didn't know better he'd say that Ezra was being more than polite; that the self sufficient singleton sounded a little lonely…well couldn't have that.

"That sounds great Ezra. I'm starting to feel like a sardine in a very small can here, be nice to get out and about. And you know I never say no to a free feed."

Ezra's smile practically beamed from the phone's receiver as he confirmed Vin's time of arrival but couldn't resist teasing him with the promise of a nice bowl of muesli.

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Vin stared down at his bowl of muesli with trepidation. It didn't look like hamster cage sweepings. It actually looked rich and creamy with plenty of fruit in it…but it was, at the end of the day, still muesli. He took a deep breath, he was a brave federal agent after all ( and he'd been told that he wouldn't get his eggs and bacon till he'd eaten it), and dipped his spoon into the substance. He stared at the bowl in shock as he swallowed the (almost) heavenly concoction.

"Heck Ez, where'd you buy this it tastes almost like a dessert?"

"I obtained the recipe from a cookbook."

"You can cook!?"

"Well muesli is hardly cooking Mr Tanner but yes, I dabble in the culinary arts when I have the time."

After a much more substantial second breakfast than his first of toast and stale day old donuts Vin helped set up a second baby seat in the Jag and with moans of taking reality too far they set off for…well Vin didn't actually have any idea of their destination.

"Hey Ez, where are we going?"

Vin was surprised at how much he had enjoyed his visit to Hubbard's. It wasn't the type of store he would normally go to, seeming a little too posh for his comfort. But Georgio had been very welcoming and had seemed genuinely delighted to see Ezra and the babies. And, more importantly, he hadn't laughed at their situation. He doubted that anything would ever faze the ebullient and ultra efficient man. Nobody else ridiculed them either; and for nobody else read everybody else. Representatives from all four floors developed a sudden, and overwhelming, need to visit menswear as soon as word had gotten out, which, of course, it did…very quickly. It appeared that among his many other attributes Georgio was an Olympic standard gossip. But Vin could see that they all had a genuine fondness for his friend. The older women fussed over him like mother hens while the younger ones flirted outrageously…as did a few of the men. Vin wasn't so sure he liked the idea of that. No he didn't like that at all.

After a good hour of being treated like royalty and presenting Georgio with tickets for a luxury trip to Vegas for two in thanks for his help the two agents left Hubbard's with many good wishes, which was nice. Vin reflected that his Ma had worked in a department store when he was a baby and he could imagine her fitting in with the people here. They also left with several unexpected purchases including baby buggies, clothes and even pretty bedding.

'_Now how did that happen' _thought Vin. He hadn't spent so much money in ages. Not that he couldn't afford it, he was just naturally frugal. But he had to admit that shopping with Ezra had been fun. And knowing that the items would be going to a good home was the icing on the cake. And as a bonus people had signed their log books which would give them extra marks for socializing. The morning that had started out with all the indications of being a disaster in the making had turned out really well. And being with Ezra had been the best part of all. It made him wonder though. He knew why he felt the way he did about Alice and why he was determined to get as much out of the experience of fatherhood while he could. But what was Ezra's motivation? They were alike in so many ways although they seemed so different. But they couldn't be alike in this….could they? Could Ezra possibly be like him? And if he was….'

Vin veered sharply away from the idea. Dreams didn't come true for people like him, not in the real world….

'_And when did Ezra become your dream_?' asked a little voice inside his head.

'_When wasn't he_?' replied another from his heart.

'_Aw hell!_' he thought_…'But what if…_' He shivered at the possibility.

"Are you cold Mister Tanner?"

"W…what? Oh, no, no Ez , I'm fine."

"Oh. Because if you are this car has independent heating controls in the seats. I could adjust yours if you would like?"

Vin looked at the undercover agent and then at the seats in shock. 'Hot and cold running water was one thing…but car seats!'

"You're kidding! And Travis paid for that?"

"New for old and top of the range mah friend. He had no choice…..It was a beautiful moment."

Vin grinned at the smug expression on the handsome face.

"You're evil Ez."

Ezra dipped his head in false modesty and exposed the gleaming gold tooth in a wicked smile.

"Ah know."

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"Don't worry Nathan; I can take Michael with me to the church. My meeting with Pastor Douglas shouldn't last long and then I can take it to the mission. They will get quite a kick out of it."

"You sure 'Siah? I know it's my turn to look after it but I don't think that the EMT instructor will look too fondly on it. Besides, he's ex FBI."

Nathan didn't need to elaborate further. There was no love lost between the ATF and the FBI at the best of times; but when they'd taken Ezra on board and found out how badly he had been treated by his former colleagues it had intensified their animosity. Josiah just nodded his understanding and set off for the church.

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"Hey kid, what are you doing tonight?" '_Say you're doing nothing…please say it'_

"Seeing Casey of course."

"Ah…It's just that Mandy has a lay-over to…"

"No."

"Aw, c'mon JD; you've got forever to be with your girl while mine will only be in town until lunchtime tomorrow." Buck wished he could do the 'puppy dog eyes' thing like JD did.

"Your girl! You mean girl number….how many are you seeing at the moment?" Buck had the good grace to blush a little. Not expecting an answer JD carried on. "Anyway Mandy will be back in a few days and tomorrow is..um…Lizzie?"

Buck nodded with a wistful expression. It came across as a leer but he would assure the Pope himself that wistful was his intention. "Ahh Lizzie!"

"So you can wait till tomorrow. I'm sure that 'little Buck' could do with the rest."

Buck looked hurt at the slight on his favourite appendage…'_and not so much of the little if you don't mind'_ he thought indignantly but then he, almost instantly, brightened. '_Didn't they say that babies were chick magnets?!_'

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Having decided that since breakfast had been such a roaring success and since Vin needed to pick up the now clean bottles they should have lunch at Ezra's. Vin was certain that Chris would stay at Miz Nettie's for lunch. They would probably have a fine old time agreeing that the whole fake baby thing was a waste of tax payers hard earned money.

He couldn't help but be a little disappointed in the elderly woman's less than supportive reaction but he figured that it had something to do with having experienced real parenthood; which was okay. They all knew that this didn't compare with holding a warm and breathing part of yourself but did they have to be so dismissive of their friend's….of his…and Ezra's… feelings. Couldn't they see that this meant something to them?

Vin pushed the sudden maudlin thought away as he stepped out of the car. He stretched blissfully; The heated seat had felt wonderful on his aching back!

Lunch had been just as delicious as breakfast with a cold meat selection from the deli down the road and some of Ezra's homemade vegetable soup, which he claimed to keep in the freezer because he never knew when he would return from an assignment and needed something quick and easy to prepare. Vin knew that this was true but he also knew that working undercover exhausted the man so much that putting soup in a microwave was just about his limit and he probably seldom bothered even with that.

'_Need someone to take care of ya Ez' _he thought silently.

After their meal was finished and the babies changed and fussed over a little bit more than the manual deemed necessary they retired to the large and almost too comfortable couch.

"Ez, can I ask ya something; something personal?"

"As long as you are not offended if I choose to decline to give you an answer."

Vin smiled. It was exactly the reply to that question that he would have given himself if anyone had asked. They were, indeed, alike. But just how alike was a question that was burning a hole in his brain.

"Well, I just wondered….why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you taking this baby thing so seriously, like me. I mean, I know why I'm doing it but I just can't see us having the same reason…so I wondered why?"

Ezra's stomach was in freefall and met his heart as it made a return journey having plummeted straight to his toes.

'_Lord what a question to ask! I cannot lie to a man who has never been anything less than honest with me yet if Ah tell him the truth_….'

'_What?….he would hate you?'_

'_No, but…'_

'_He'd betray your confidence?'_

'_Of course not!…Vin would never…'_

'_Then why not tell him the truth? After all being gay is hardly a crime these days.'_

'_Because!…because Ah…Ah like him! Because he can read me and if he finds out then…then things will change…And this is more than I ever thought I would have. More than I have ever had before…..a friend....A real friend. Ah just can't risk that.'_

'_But you can't lie?'_

'_No.'_

'_So you'd rather be a coward and_…'

"Oh shut up!"

It looked like he'd gone too far. Vin knew that it had been a risk but he was hurting his friend. He could see the distress on the tired but beautiful face.

"Sorry Ez…I didn't mean to…"

Ezra snapped back into the moment at the anguish in Vin's soft Texan drawl.

"What! No!. Sorry Vin, Ah was just thinking out loud. My intended target was mahself, not you."

"It's okay Ez." Vin was relieved but still concerned that he had stirred up bad thoughts or memories. He knew that there was a sound reason he tended to say very little. Because every time he did he put his foot straight in it.

Ezra smiled reassuringly at the concerned sharpshooter. "I must admit that I find the question difficult to answer." He held up a hand to forestall the inevitable apology. "But it is a valid question, and one I have thought of asking you, for, as you say, we are both rather caught up in this experiment. And I know that, as a friend, you would respect mah privacy. It's just that Ah have several reasons for mah actions and they…"

Vin could hear the accent thicken again, a sure sign of excitement or distress…and he was sure it wasn't excitement.

"Ez, really, it's okay. Just because there are things in your life you can't easily talk about don't mean I think you see me as less of a friend. I've got reasons that I know you'd understand but I'm still afraid it'd change things…and it's not often in my life that things go this well. Don't want to risk what I've got even if what I could have may be better…if that makes any sort of sense?"

"Perfect sense actually." Ezra was always amazed at his friend's perceptiveness; but that they had both been thinking along the same lines…and that it was his normally silent companion that had managed to put into words what he himself had only dared contemplate inside his own head…that gave him a warm glow of pride at his friend's courage.

'_And if you were both thinking along the same lines what if you were both also thinking those thoughts for the same reason. What if you weren't the only one with more than friendly feelings?_'

The thought hit Ezra like a sledgehammer but before he could take it any further; and before he could connect it with the soft and caring expression on Vin's face…the phone rang.

'_Dammit!_' came the twin thoughts as both men released breaths that they hadn't realised they had been holding.

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"So how did your meeting with Pastor Douglas go?" Nathan asked Josiah, who was sitting at the dining table hunched over plans and brochures for…bathrooms?"

"Hmmm?" Josiah dragged himself out of his concentrated perusal of various shower stalls to see his partner flop into the chair opposite. "Oh fine, just fine" his enthusiasm for his obviously successful day coming to the fore. "We had a fascinating discussion and the Pastor has invited me to give a guest talk to the Sunday school children on stranger safety. And the sisters at the mission informed me that we have received a substantial donation. Enough to re-furbish the bathrooms at the mission house" He indicated his brochures, their presence making sense now.

Nathan smiled at his friend's enthusiasm. At least one of them had had a good day. FBI certainly stood for Feeble Brained Idiots. No wonder Ez hadn't fitted in.

"How did the Pastor like the baby?"

Josiah laughed although he had a sudden odd feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't explain. He shrugged it off. "He thought it was a wonderful idea. Liked the thought of cops who were in touch with their feminine side. I told him that there wasn't anything feminine about the language used at three o'clock in the morning when it started screaming."

"And how did the sisters react?"

Josiah frowned and that feeling increased. Nathan's look went from jovial to concerned.

"Josiah?"

Josiah felt his heart rate increase. Why couldn't he remember what the sister's had thought? He mentally retraced his steps from leaving the church to his arrival at the mission. He remembered being greeted with the exciting news and having a stack of leaflets pressed into his hands….

His hands

His empty hands.

"Oh Lord!"

"What is it Josiah? What's wrong? Nathan's concern was ratcheted up a notch as the colour faded from Josiah's skin and he put a hand to his mouth in horror.

"The baby! I left the church but I forgot the baby!"

TBC

Hope you enjoyed. Looks like Vin and Ezra are beginning to get a clue, further progress next chapter - or so my crystal ball tells me.

A/N: Also I would like to thank Sivan Shemesh2 for the idea of the mislaid baby. Hope she likes what I'm planning to do with it next chapter. Till then thanks for all the reviews and happy reading.


	5. Chapter 5

Rock A Bye Baby Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em. Just borrowing.

A/N Sorry this is a little late but I was a wee bit poorly. Just about the only thing I share with fanfic Ezra is his migraines! They may last two or three days but they throw life out of kilter for at least a week. Still, all better now, so onward…..

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The journey to the church at the edge of Purgatorio, the poorest and roughest area of the city, was far too long as far as Josiah was concerned. He prayed, fervently, that the baby would still be on the pew where he had left it. After all who would want a fake baby?

"Hello?" Ezra was of the personal opinion that whoever was calling him should have had the courtesy to be psychic and know not to interrupt what could possibly have been one of the most important conversations of his life.

"Ezra, I have a problem, son. A rather large problem." He then went on to explain the situation, the embarrassment clear in his voice.

"So let me get this straight Mr Sanchez" Ezra was a master at not letting his feelings show through either his expression or his tone so the words that carried to the unseeing profiler were as calm and polite as ever, if a tad cool in their delivery, but Vin could see the sparkle of mirth in the jade eyes, and also a hard glint of anger…a strange combination. He couldn't wait to hear what combination of events had occurred to create that reaction. He didn't have to wait for long as his friend continued.

"You misplace baby Michael" Vin's eyebrows rose in astonishment and he had to bite his lip to hold back his laughter, while Ezra didn't dare look at the Texan for fear of losing his own composure. "And now you need Vin's contacts in Purgatorio to determine his present location?……Yes Mr Sanchez Mr Tanner is with me as we speak. It seems that AH was the only member of our TEAM to aid him in HIS hour of need." Vin winced; well that explained the angry glint. Of course despite his team mates lack of support they all knew that as soon as he had the details he'd be on the phone to his neighbours and friends in the community he'd adopted on his arrival in the city. As would Ezra who, despite his highbrow ways and designer clothes, had been recognized by the outcasts of Purgatorio as a fellow outsider and his community work, alongside Vin, had not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. But he had to admit that he felt a warm glow spread within him as he listened to Ezra's quiet anger on his behalf.

It didn't take Vin as long as he'd feared to locate the simulacrum and neither he nor Ezra could hide their amusement at the result.

"Lord Vin! Ah just hope that Josiah has brushed up on his hostage negotiation procedures, but Ah fear that the poor man does not stand a chance against such a battle hardened adversary."

Vin wiped a tear of laughter from his eye and his breath caught in his throat at the sight and sound of his partner, jewel tinted eyes sparkling, gold tooth gleaming and ivory skin flushed pink with the exertion of the unrestrained laughter they had shared.

It was at that exact same moment that Ezra looked into the sky blue eyes and knew without a doubt that his heart no longer belonged to him alone and that there was no way he would ever be able to summon up the courage to offer the other half of it to the man standing in front of him.

He didn't realise that in his glance he already had and it was a gift that Vin had no intention of refusing.

Ezra had no idea how he came to be in Vin's embrace or the moment the other man's lips had closed on his own but his mouth opened in automatic invitation as tongues met and explored while two pairs of hands had exactly the same idea.

It was a moment of pure unadulterated heaven and nothing could break it……

"Waaaaaahhhhhh"

Except that!

Vin chuckled as they parted slightly and Ezra's chestnut head hit his shoulder with an exasperated thunk.

"Guess we really know what it's like to be parents now Ez."

Ezra raised his eyes hesitantly, as though uncertain of Vin's reaction to their kiss even though the Texan had instigated it.

"Indeed."

Vin heard the uncertainty in the voice and saw it in the jade eyes. It didn't surprise him; he had expected it. The only thing he hadn't expected were his own actions. But he had no doubts. His instincts had served him well all his life and he wasn't going to question them now.

" No doubts here Ez. I know we've got a lot to talk about but I reckon we both agree on how we feel about each other."

"No Vin, no doubts. Ah'm just glad that one of us had the courage of our convictions."

A second and then a third wailing infant reminded them that the real world didn't stop for anything, not even lovers. And they still had to inform Josiah of his child's fate…and dash across town to watch the floorshow as he tried to retrieve him.

M7M7M7M7M7M7M7

Neither Vin nor Ezra thought it fair to keep the news of Josiah's predicament from their fellow team members so Nathan found himself glaring at most of the rest of the seven as Josiah attempted to explain the situation to one Maria Perez. Even Chris hadn't been able to resist the call and he was looking happier than he had in several days. Nathan couldn't help but think that there was something fundamentally twisted in that even as his over developed conscience forced him to admit to himself that if it were any other pair, or even better, Ezra, he would be sporting a pretty similar expression.

Josiah had commandeered Buck's assistance in dealing with the delicate situation. The ladies man could charm women of any age, from the very old to the very young.

At least that was what he had hoped. He'd been wrong.

"Now please honey, you wouldn't want Josiah's little girl to lose her dolly would you? Think of how she must be feeling. I know you want to help her. Please?" Buck didn't make it a habit to lie to ladies, whatever their age, but special circumstances called for special measures.

Rosa Perez gave the nasty big men as harsh a glare as Chris Larabee ever managed and stated with finality.

"Mine!"

"Mrs Perez?" Buck turned to Rosa's mother with a desperate pleading look. Over twenty minutes talking to the woman's eight year old daughter had gotten him nowhere.

If either Buck or Josiah thought for one minute that the nice young woman who loved her daughter very much had the power or the courage to snatch the 'doll' from Rosa's protective grasp, her very strong, teary and determined grasp then they were in grievous error. Both agents and mother's declaration that it wasn't right to take something that didn't belong to you was met with an unassailable legal wall…

"Finders Keepers!" Nathan's shock was obvious, as was the amusement of his so called friends as they chuckled, guffawed and even snorted. Well all except Ezra, thought Nathan as he watched the southerner walk a little distance away, cell phone clamped to his ear; typical that the man would be bored with the whole thing.

"Sorry Nathan" Josiah's contrition was genuine but Buck's look of sympathy was decidedly wobbly as his moustache twitched in his attempt to stifle his laughter. Nathan dragged his attention back to his partner. "She seems to think that finders keepers, losers weepers is not only legal but practically one of the ten commandments. I tried pretending that I had a little girl who needed her dolly back but it backfired when she told me that her mommy had brought her up to be careful with her toys and perhaps I should do the same…..It was like talking to a mini Ezra."

They all shuddered, except for Vin who's grin just widened and Ezra who gave the profiler a mild glare as he kept one ear on the conversation while he made his phone call and cradled Ethan who was a little cranky today.

Chris had to admit that this was the first time he had gotten any pleasure out of these proceedings. He didn't bother feeling guilty that it was at his own men's expense….after all there had been that incident with himself, the Simpson's boxers, a rose and a digital camera to be avenged. As Nathan and Josiah went on to discuss further options Chris took time to study his 'baby partner' who was holding their 'infant' with all the tenderness of a real father, as was Ezra, of all people! _Hell, _Chris thought, _I doubt he even knows what it feels like to be a child let alone a parent._ He immediately felt a stab of guilt. That hadn't been fair. He looked again at Vin who seemed to be almost radiant; Chris snorted but then immediately sobered as the memories of his own parenting days assaulted him once again. He really hadn't known how hard it was going to be, after all they weren't real babies. They didn't really behave realistically, how could they? And they didn't smell real…though there was some reason to be grateful for that blessing! But he had to admit that there were times when it…when Alice… drew him in. And that only made it harder to bear because it wasn't the fact that he had lost Adam that was getting at him. That was an event that bore no comparison to anything he had ever gone through and a doll no matter how well made wasn't going to come close to the place where he kept that heartache. No, it was the fact that he **could** be here for these simulated little moments…diaper changes and feeding, when in real life he had focused too much on his work; on saving lives and catching villains, to realise that those little moments were quickly in the past, the opportunity gone forever. He remembered thinking that there would always be tomorrow…and then suddenly there wasn't; not because Adam had died but because he had grown. And somehow giving in to the temptation of these endearing yet fake babies brought more guilt than it ever would pleasure. At least that was what he had thought; but as he watched Vin and Ezra…_twins! Poor guy!…_interact with their babes he was no longer so sure. They both seemed to be getting something special out of the experience. Something was definitely different …if only he could figure out what.

One thing he had no trouble figuring out, however, was that he had not been a good team member or a good friend to their sharpshooter since this whole thing started. Vin hadn't been able to count on him today over that sterilizer thing and he had always prided himself on being there for his men, for the small things as well as the big. Instead his friend had been forced to turn to Ezra. And what was with that man anyway? He had realised within days of hiring the mercurial southerner that he would never understand what made the man tick but this sudden broody side had him completely flummoxed. He knew that Vin had reasons for his actions that he wasn't telling and wondered if they were similar to Ezra's. Most might not think that the Texan and the Georgia boy had anything in common but they seemed to connect on some unknown and mysterious level.

God! Why did thinking about those two make his head hurt? He sighed and moved toward the duo and to their astonishment he plucked Alice out of Vin's arms and indicated with a nod that Vin should help out a calm but overburdened Ezra who had finished his call but was trying to get Victoria out of the car while still holding a grumbling Ethan.

"Thanks Cowboy" Vin grinned at the obligatory scowl he received from Chris at the use of the hated nickname. He didn't know what had caused this sudden turnaround but he wasn't going to question it. He immediately retrieved Victoria from Ezra, who smiled his thanks to his leader and they waited for Nathan and Josiah to finish their 'meeting' A discussion that would have been over minutes ago if it were not for all the 'helpful' comments and advice from Buck and JD.

As they waited a small crowd of locals gathered around Ezra and Vin. Chris was instantly on alert, they didn't call this area purgatorio for nothing; his alarm quickly faded to be replaced by surprise. He wasn't surprised at the youthful congregation's response to Vin, after all the man lived nearby and probably knew most of the people by name. He was, however, surprised at their reaction to the debonair southerner. He had expected them to ridicule and taunt their seventh but to his amazement they treated him no differently than they did his partner; and what was more, Ezra seemed to know a fair few of them too. He couldn't really understand all of the conversation since it was in fast flowing and fluent Spanish but from the odd word and gesture they were sympathising with his allocation of twins. Would he ever understand the enigmatic and infinitely annoying, frustrating, downright ulcer inducing man. Chris sighed, he doubted it; then he grinned at the thought that he hadn't felt this alive in years. At that moment Alice began to whimper and before he realised what he was doing the most feared agent in the ATF was gently rocking the baby back to sleep in the middle of the street…and he didn't care what anyone thought……but if Buck didn't wipe that smug grin off of his face pronto their would be at least a months desk duty waiting him when they returned to work on Monday. Or maybe a nice few weeks giving safety lectures at the local elementary schools. He may be a temporary daddy but as far as Chris 'the bad element' Larabee was concerned he was still an evil bastard, and Buck had better not forget it!

Buck was listening to JD's suggestion of short circuiting the simulacrum so the little girl wouldn't want it any more when he caught a flurry of movement out of the corner of his eye. His expression settled into one of intense amusement and his partner's words faded as he saw his oldest friend rocking his baby in his arms. He grinned at the sight but suddenly decided that if he valued his health, and his family jewels, he'd best be somewhere else…immediately.

Once the crowd had finished their impromptu chat, gently teasing the two agents about their finding their feminine sides ( if only they knew! thought Vin ) Ezra pulled Josiah and Nathan aside.

"Gentlemen, if you would kindly re-start negotiations with our young hostage taker and follow mah lead when I arrive I think we can have this delicate affair concluded in a satisfactory manner quite soon."

Nathan frowned and Josiah looked concerned yet hopeful. Ezra's plans were usually flawless and well thought out, even at next to no notice. But then he was normally dealing with hardened gun runners not eight year old girls. Still, he didn't really have any other options left; he had tried every argument he could think of.

Nathan's stomach lurched at the sight of Ezra's shark's smile. It was the one he wore when he was about to hook a villain, or a mark in his conning days. It reminded the medic of the con man Face in the TV series he used to watch when he was younger…The A-Team. And Ezra was on the jazz…'_Lord help us all' _he prayed fervently as he followed Josiah back into the Perez household.

Less than five minutes later Chris, Vin, Buck and JD watched the undercover agent as he checked on the babies that were now lined up in a row on the wrought iron bench that looked suspiciously like it had once been situated in a public park and now graced the small front garden of the scene of the crime. Chris only hoped that they cleared this up before the other teams got wind of it. They would never live this down.

As Ezra checked and fussed over each baby in turn Chris came to the unsurprising and inescapable conclusion that his undercover operative was completely insane. '_This is supposed to keep us away from the need for psychiatric evaluations but by the time we're done he's gonna have to go straight into therapy'_ He looked on in astonishment as Vin moved forward and began to….to tickle Junior's tummy! '_How the hell did I get landed with two crazy men?'_ He contemplated his two most reliable men's present location…inside a little girl's room trying to get their dolly back and glanced at Buck who was trying to charm a senorita half his age who didn't speak a word of English. Did he say two crazy men? Hell, he was probably the only sane one out of the lot of them….then again, they were his family by choice so perhaps he was the craziest of all. He could live with that!

Ten minutes later a limo drew up to a chorus of whistles from the still present audience; you didn't get many limos in such a run down area unless they took a wrong turn. But this driver knew exactly who he was looking for as he passed over two bags from Hubbards store to Ezra. The southerner checked the contents and signed for them with a smile and a large tip.

The men who remained outside watched as Ezra unpacked his purchases.

Vin laughed delightedly, '_God I love that man_!' he thought to himself.

Chris smirked and shook his head in exasperation but there was admiration in his eyes.

Buck and JD looked confused.

"Bribery Ezra?" Chris smiled as he asked his question. The man was Maude's son alright.

"Indeed Mr Larabee. If appealing to the mark…I mean child's kind nature does not work then one must resort to less ethical though more effective methods."

"Heck Ez! Last thing we need is more of 'em" Buck indicated the doll in it's Moses basket that Ezra carried in one hand and the smaller doll in it's box that he held under his arm.

"Patience Mr Wilmington. There is method in my madness."

"Not so sure about the method but the madness…hell yeah!" Chris's comment was spoken too low for human ears.

"Ah heard that Mr Larabee." Ezra replied while Chris winced; '_man's a damn alien' _he wisely kept the thought to himself this time.

Vin grinned. He suspected he would be doing quite a bit of grinning in the future.

"I don't get it!" JD piped up as they trooped into the babynapper's home.

"Hostage exchange JD" supplied Vin.

"Oh!….I still don't get it."

"You will Mr Dunne."

M7M7M7M7M7M7M7

Both Nathan and Josiah were ready for anything that Ezra had in mind but it was still a shock to see the man toting a garish frilly lined pink basket with a doll in it and a Barbie tucked under his arm.

"Never fear Mr Sanchez, your 'little girl' need mourn no longer. I have procured the finest of baby dolls to replace the one that now belongs to this delightful young lady" Ezra flashed a gold toothed smile at the impressionable youngster who was slightly awed at the sight. She wondered if the tooth fairy could be persuaded to leave golden replacements. "Now Ah am sure that your 'daughter' will quite happily accept this replacement."

Ezra was sure that the perceptive profiler would deduce his intentions but just in case he indicated with an almost imperceptible shake of his head that he should disagree with the proposition. Rosa didn't notice the exchange as she was casting covetous eyes on the confection coloured bundle.

"Sorry Ezra but Emmy loves baby Mikey; I can't see her giving him up." It was all Josiah could do not to burst out laughing ….or throttle the conman; he wasn't sure which would give him the most satisfaction.

Ezra put on a slightly disappointed air. "Are you sure Mr Sanchez? After all her doll may seem more real but this infant"….Ezra couldn't believe his expensive training and years of hard earned experience were being used for this…"according to the packaging, anyway, drinks, cries real tears and…um, wets her diaper."

The atmosphere in the room was suddenly charged with pure avarice as Rosa's eyes lit up like lighthouse beacons. Ezra ignored the reaction and assumed a slightly crestfallen yet casual expression.

"Oh well, I suppose I shall just have to throw it away then, since I have no use for a doll."

"NO!"

Ezra turned slowly toward the source of the outburst and raised an eyebrow in question.

"You cannot Senor!" Rosa didn't know whether he could or couldn't. She only knew one thing….she wanted that doll, both those dolls. Unless she was very much mistaken the other doll was a Barbie princess, and she was dressed in pink! "I will take the dolls for you Senor. It is no trouble."

Ezra withheld his smile by sheer willpower alone as, he suspected, did the others who were crowded into the too small room with them. They had thought it best to leave the babies in the next room for fear of endangering the deal. He fancied that he felt Nathan's disapproving glare boring into his back though. '_Ah well can't win them all' _he thought philosophically. He still couldn't get over the fact that Vin had kissed him. The memory of that sensation had given him a permanent giddy feeling and the urge to grin like a lunatic….much in the same way that his love ( _Lord how Ah love that word…love. _) had been doing since the event.

He dragged his wandering mind back to the moment. "That is most kind of you Senorita, but you already have a doll and it would not seem right to expect you to care for three dolls, not to mention that your friends might become jealous of your good fortune and cease coming to play."

Rosa pondered the problem…for all of five seconds… before she thrust the computer chipped baby towards him with the declaration.

"I will swap Senor. Your two little dollies for this one."

Ezra gave it due and careful consideration for several moments, feeling the massed unspoken demand of his colleagues to get on with it. He felt that the little con artist in the making deserved for her first proper effort to be treated with respect. After all he still remembered the first time he had successfully conned his first mark.

"Well Ah do hate to throw anything away when it can go to a good home. Are you sure?"

As the team stood outside the apartment with baby Michael once again in his proper place Josiah stuttered a heartfelt thank you to their seventh while a genuine, though less enthusiastic, thank you was Nathan's contribution. Ezra was magnanimous enough to ignore the fact that it took a subtle poke in the ribs from Josiah for Nathan to speak up. Josiah's smile dropped at the sight of the piece of paper that Ezra smilingly thrust into his free hand.

"What's this Ezra?"

Ezra thought it was obvious but humoured the man.

"It is a bill of sale Mr Sanchez. For one hundred and forty two dollars and twenty five cents. The delivery was free of charge given the special circumstances."

Josiah gulped at the cost of two dolls however he couldn't help but chuckle as his team mates teased him all the way back to the cars. He knew perfectly well that when he came to pay up the southerner would wave a hand and tell him to put it in the poor box. The man had a heart of gold; Josiah just wished he didn't hide it so well, especially from Nathan.

M7M7M7M7M7M7M7

The trip back home felt very lonely all of a sudden. Ezra already missed Vin's quiet presence and wished that they didn't have to part; they had so much to talk about; and so much to do that didn't involve talking at all. They had both agreed, though, in a hurried conversation, that it would be idiotic to pass up the new found enthusiasm for the project of their leader so Vin had gone back to the ranch and Ezra and the twins were headed back to Ezra's townhouse for, hopefully, some rest and an early night. Babies were the most exhausting creatures!

So much for a peaceful night. It was eight PM and both babies had been fretting on and off since they had come back; Ezra fancied that maybe they missed Vin too. He shook his head in disbelief as he paced up and down, a baby in each arm, this fatherhood thing was getting a life of it's own.

A sudden chiming of the doorbell had him sighing with relief. Evie Travis had called a half hour earlier to check how he was doing, a gesture which he found extremely touching, and when she had heard Ethan and Victoria's cries she had insisted on coming over.

"Come in Mrs Travis" he called, not having a free hand to open the door which he had left unlocked in expectation of her arrival.

Ezra turned, infant in the crook of each arm, just as Maude Standish strode elegantly through the door.

"Really Ezra, since when did you leave your door………"

Ezra heard his Mother's rebuke at the same time as he saw her take in the sight he presented.

He didn't think he had ever seen a woman actually swoon at his feet before.

"Mother! Dear Lord!" He stood stunned as he gazed at his mother, fainted dead away in his hallway.

TBC

A/N Well hope that went OK. Poor Maude! Has a fanfic character finally suffered an honest to goodness conniption?! Sorry again for the delay but hopefully everything should be back on schedule now. Next chapter sees Maude getting an explanation, Buck trying out his babe magnet and the guys return to work. And will poor Ez & Vin get a few moments to pick up where they left off? I'm sure that love will find a way:D


	6. Chapter 6

Rock A Bye Baby Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine, except the babies and the villain.

Warning: some mentions of a homophobic nature from a canon character - but it's not one of the boys (or Maude) Needless to say that I do not condone homophobic attitudes in any way shape or form.

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Ezra stood, mouth agape, staring at the sight before him. His unflappable, one would almost say unfeeling ….cold hearted…selfish…bitchy…Ezra drew himself back and gave himself a mental slap. She was, of course, none of those things…mostly, and never all at the same time. His mother, who he had seen with his own eyes stay calm and unruffled while fleecing Mafia bosses or sweet talking many a law enforcement officer into doing her bidding was lying in an ungainly heap on his hardwood, Indian rug covered floor.

And, as usual, he blamed himself. This time, however, he felt there might be some justification. He knew perfectly well that it was the sight of the twins that had triggered her attack of the vapours and he had to admit that they did look awfully real and he had neglected to inform her of the experiment. Twins had always made his mother a little unsettled for obvious reasons; he, himself, still got a tad melancholy when he contemplated what could have been.

His issues with their shared past notwithstanding Ezra quickly realised that he had a more pressing problem as Victoria began a whimper that experience had taught him would soon become a howl and that might arouse his mother in a rather upsetting fashion; yet if he tended to the infant's needs he would be leaving Maude on the not so cold, not so hard yet still undignified place on the floor.

"Oh my goodness!"

Evie Travis hadn't been able to resist her motherly instincts when she had felt compelled to check up on Ezra. After the story Orrin had regaled her with, passed on by a much more relaxed than usual Chris Larabee, for which she was glad; she had begun to worry about the widower's state of mind. After the hostage situation and it's attendant kerfuffle she had hoped that Ezra would have a more relaxing evening. It was a forlorn hope, she realised, as she heard the wailing infants in the background to their conversation. Ezra was putting on a brave front but the exhaustion was obvious in his voice. The man had only been out of hospital a fairly short time and had returned to work two weeks before to be greeted with a not overly long but intense undercover assignment. She just couldn't bear to leave him in such a situation, so, retrieving from the oven and boxing up the chicken casserole she had intended for dinner, she bid her husband a hasty goodbye and thrust a take out flyer in his hand as she hurried out the door.

She entered the Townhouse, casserole in hand, to be greeted by the frazzled agent, which she had expected, and a sight which she had most certainly not!

Evie was glad that she was not the type of person to be easily startled otherwise her casserole would have ended up in the same place as the lady who she suspected to be the infamous Maude, at least going by the descriptions she had been regaled with, and it being a given that the mentions of horns and a tail were not to be taken literally.

Placing the food offering on the hall sideboard she immediately moved forward to take the disgruntled babies.

"Give them here Ezra and take care of your mother dear. I'm sure that if she stays there too long she will catch a chill in her kidneys. That is if she is really…" Evie had heard many tales of the way Maude Standish treated her only son and she hadn't been impressed. She wouldn't put it past the woman to be faking it, although to come right out and say so would be rather rude.

Ezra got her point immediately and mentally praised both her good character judgement and her manners. But Maude was definitely not scamming him. The proof was obvious.

"Lord no! Mrs Travis" he answered as he reached for the first aid kit which was kept in the hall sideboard for easy access. He experienced a fleeting memory flash as he paused in his explanation to search out an ampoule of 'smelling salts.' He remembered the look on Vin's face which had no doubt been mirrored on his own by the evidence of the team's laughter, as the kits handed to each of the team were only half the size of the ones that Nathan had given to them. He had felt that their medic's comment alluding to the desirability of keeping a paramedic team on standby at all times based on their penchant for finding trouble was going a little overboard, but less than two months later both he and his partner were fighting for their lives in intensive care. Point taken.

"Whilst Ah agree that Mother is hardly the type to swoon" he positioned the ampoule under his mother's elegant nose, "she would never allow a designer original to come into contact with the floor; and she IS wearing Dior."

He broke the little container with glee and watched as his mentor and tormentor; much loved and loathed in almost equal measure, came to, coughing and spluttering like a landed fish.

"Hello Mother. Nice to see you too, although faintin' at mah feet is likely to boost mah ego to … well your level."

Maude Standish was, for once in her life, lost for words. Her mouth opened and closed silently, doing nothing to dispel Ezra's imaginary fish analogy. He reached towards the woman, who was now sitting on the floor rather than lying on it, and gently tapped her lower jaw upwards to close the gaping mouth. As though he had flicked a switch her brain moved back into gear.

She could have sworn! She gazed at her, so called, loving son's empty arms. Was she hallucinating? And was her dutiful offspring smirking at her predicament? Maybe this was 'the change of life' that all women went through? No! It couldn't be that.! Why, she was no older than… um, yes…well.

"Ezra! What on earth is…."

Ezra raised an eyebrow as Maude heard a mewling baby's cry come from just behind her. He watched as she stared with horrified fascination at the unknown older woman who came into her line of sight cradling two babies. He took steps instantly to put her out of her misery. They could be almost casually cruel to each other, Lord only knew, but neverthat cruel.

"They are not real Mother. You are not a grandmother…and Ah am not a father."

Both women heard the wistful quality in the quietly spoken words but didn't embarrass him by commenting.

Maude held out her hand imperiously, expecting to be assisted to her feet. Ezra duly obliged and after a slight stagger, corrected by a subtle hand to her elbow, she turned her curious and, rather hostile, to Ezra's mind, gaze upon both the babies and the woman holding them.

Before she could say something that HE would regret, even if she didn't, Ezra made the introductions.

"Mother, may I present Mrs Evie Travis, Judge Travis's wife…you remember Judge Travis Mother, he is mah Boss."

Ezra kept his fingers mentally crossed that she wouldn't choose this moment to teach him one of her infamous 'lessons' He winced at her actual reply but felt, all in all, that he'd gotten off lightly.

"Of course Ah remember Judge Orrin Travis Ezra. It was that self same redoubtable official who sentenced me to six months at the State's foremost correctional facility several years ago." Maude couldn't resist the dig but in all fairness, not a habit which she wished to cultivate, the sentence could have been far worse. And his wife certainly wasn't to blame for any of it. Whether there was anything else to blame her for remained to be seen. If the woman had hurt her darlin' boy in any way! And what on earth were these strange dummies doing here?

She blamed Chris Larabee. The man had to be good for something besides glaring! Shaking off the stray thought that the leader of Team 7 was also very good at smouldering gazes she turned her attention back to the issue at hand.

"It is an honour to meet you Mrs Travis." She held out a regal hand and Evie had to resist the urge to bow down and kiss the diamond ring that adorned it. Instead Evie shook the proffered hand lightly. They quickly adjourned to the living room as they conversed, Maude keeping as wary an eye on the infants as she would an unexploded bomb.

"Likewise I'm sure Mrs Standish. I have heard a lot about you from Orrin and the team, though not from Ezra." Evie placed the babies in the obviously non government issue cribs as she replied having calmed them with a little rocking; sometimes it was all that they required. She awaited the woman's reply, fully expecting it to be hostile, or at least dismissive; that was if the stories of her frosty demeanour were truthful. She was astounded, therefore, to see an almost perfect replica of Ezra's dazzling smile, the one that reached the eyes. Although this one did not flash gold.

"Mah darlin' boy's manners are far too polished for him to say what he really thinks of me Mrs Travis, especially to a lady of quality such as yourself."

Maude had not failed to notice the low key yet expensive ensemble. Evie Travis may portray the homely housewife but she was as sophisticated as they came.

Evie was torn. She knew, from what she had heard from impeccable sources that she should dislike the 'southern belle with a heart of pure stone' as Orrin had called her, on sight, yet she felt an inexplicable liking for the tough, elegant and effervescent woman. She decided to withhold her judgement until she got to know her better.

"You had best sit down Mother, while I explain my current situation."

"And I had better pop that casserole into the oven to keep warm added Evie as she turned back to retrieve said dish from the hall. There should be plenty for the two of you and I doubt whether you are up to cooking tonight Ezra dear; then I should get back to Orrin. I left him clutching a take-out menu as though it were instructions for building a nuclear device, written in Swahili."

"There was no need for you to go to so much trouble Mrs Travis." Ezra had to admit to himself that the aroma was enticing to his too long ignored stomach. He ignored the uncomfortable thought that he was about to partake of the Judge's dinner. The man could drown him in paperwork if he so chose in order to exact his revenge.

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Buck Wilmington, self proclaimed 'supreme master of romance' put the finishing touches to his master plan. There was no way he was going to forego the pleasure of Mandy's company just because JD wanted to go and play dungeons and dragons with Casey, or whatever the pair did when they were alone together. He'd bet the farm that they weren't… well neither would he with Miz Nettie in the next room!. Buck shuddered as he drew the baby blanket up a little higher to hopefully obscure the baby's features from his date. His, not only beautiful, flight attendant; she was also the biggest challenge he'd enjoyed for months. They had already been on four dates and he'd gotten past her defence perimeter but hadn't yet invaded her inner sanctum, so to speak. Despite what he'd let JD believe Mandy was holding out on him, which of course she had every right to do, Buck Wilmington had never pressured a lady - but then they'd usually surrendered by now. But this would be the move that would convince her. Babysitting Buck. Caring Uncle Buck. Yep! Who could resist caring Buck? As long as he didn't let her get too close he was in line to score a touchdown.

"Please don't draw attention to yourself kid" he begged the blissfully sleeping babe. Telling your date that you've agreed to help a friend by playing the caring uncle; pointing out the infant with a shhh, he's asleep was one thing. Explaining that you're looking after a dummy because your boss thinks you don't have any social skills is something else entirely.

Buck straightened his tie as the doorbell rang. Operation 'Baby Luvva' was a go.

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Dinner was delicious. Ezra didn't even have to taste the food to know that; it was evident by the lack of complaint from his usually fussy companion. And as long as she was putting food into her mouth there was no opportunity for questions to come out of it. All too soon, however, the time for explanations came around and he duly obliged….giving her the bare bones of the reason for his sudden fatherhood. He left out most of the detail, including irrelevancies such as falling hopelessly in love with your partner…your male partner. Not that he thought for a moment that she would be shocked at his homosexual status. Maude Standish had stopped trying to foist limpid eyed heiresses on him when he was in his early twenties. Although that might have had more to do with the shame of his career choice as he declared his intention to join the FBI than it did his lack of interest in the opposite sex.

Ezra waited for the condemnation; the disappointed glance or the long suffering sigh that usually followed his attempts to explain his endeavours to lead a normal life; if pretending to be someone else half the time, getting shot on a all too frequent basis and acquiring a family of six men who would no doubt qualify as quite insane in any normal strata of society could ever be considered 'normal' The only thing normal about his world was the less than generous pay check that entered his account every month.

One other thing that he considered normal was his mother's constant tendency to surprise him. Expecting a lecture, a tirade or even a subtle administering of a sedative and a hasty departure to destinations unknown in an attempt to help him regain his senses, ( not that she had stooped so low yet but he thought it best to keep the thought to himself just in case she got the wrong, or right, idea ) He was therefore surprised when she smiled indulgently at him and walked over to the nearest crib, Ethan's, with the command.

"Well Ezra, introduce me to mah grandchildren….and explain to them why Ah am far too young for the role."

"Yes Mother." Honestly, could his life get any more surreal.

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"Oh Buck, that is so sweet and kind of you! Of course I don't mind eating in, I have nieces myself so I quite understand."

Buck beamed at the soft glow in Mandy's hazel eyes. It was working like a charm. Mandy had been impressed by his caring nature (tick), ensured of his friend's faith in his reliability (tick), and reassured that he felt strongly enough about their embryonic relationship to let her see this side of him (tick). All boxes safely ticked. Now, dinner catered by Alfredo's and then…paradise. There had been an awkward moment when he'd had to step in front of her to prevent her dashing straight for the infant…what was it with women and cuddling anyway, well, unless it was HIM they were cuddling! But she had seen his determination to protect Junior's slumber as 'adorable' - her words.

Ahhh, life didn't get much sweeter than this.

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After the initial shock, on both sides, Ezra watched with delight as Maude indulged him by treating the babies as almost real. One couldn't expect more than that because Maude was not the nurturing type; he doubted whether she treated even real babies as such. But she was putting in the effort, and doing it for him; quite extraordinary. He chose to ignore the suspicion that some of her reaction could possibly be a response to Evie's support; a sort of 'anything you can do, I can do better' attitude. He could live with that; at least she was trying. It had been, all in all, quite an unusually good day. He touched his fingers to his lips as he remembered the gentle pressure of Vin's mouth on his own. A very good day indeed.

Maude finished redressing Ethan, taking an approving glance at the designer label on the little outfit…nice to see that at least some of her lessons had stuck, and placed him in the quaintly old fashioned antique pine crib, rocking it gently as she did so. Ezra had explained to her about the experimental programme and how the babies functioned. She wondered if there might be a market for such a service in the world of high tech corporate toys and made a mental note to investigate possible investment opportunities later. She looked down at the little boy; he did bear an astonishing similarity to her Ezra at the same age. Walking over to an identical crib she winced at the sight of Victoria; had they taken the memory from her mind the manufacturers could not have created a more perfect replica of her little Lauren Amelia.

"Mother?"

Maude turned with a smile that did nothing to disguise her pain; Ezra was the one person she did not have to hide the pain from; she could not hide it even if she had wanted to, not after the way she had trained him to read people. But Ezra understood that when she replied "Ah'm fine dear", she really was, even if she actually wasn't. It was the way he, himself, felt.

"So darlin' tell me more about this experiment. Is there a wager riding on the outcome…and what on earth are you going to do with all this paraphernalia when it's over?" she indicated the cribs from their positions in the comfortable chairs they had retired to after clearing away the dinner things. Ezra made a mental note to return the casserole dish to Evie, preferably when the judge was absent.

Ezra told her of Josiah's adventure, Chris's adjustment problems, which gained a rare expression of sympathy from the southern woman, and about his and Vin's plans for the baby clothes and furniture. He also told her about the bottle sterilizer incident; his and Vin's trip to Hubbards and Vin's conversion to muesli and luxury cars.

Maude watched with fascination as she listened to her son get carried away in the retelling of the past few days events. She had waited so long; never thought it would happen at all, in fact. If truth be told she was concerned that she had trained the ability to love out of the overly sensitive and passionate boy. But here he was, declaring his love for his co-worker with every sentence that passed his lips.

Vin Tanner; if she remembered correctly, and whilst her memory was not eidetic like her son's, she had no trouble picturing the lean, longish haired, blue eyed Agent. A memory of him lying hurt and exhausted in the hospital bed next to Ezra's, pretending to be asleep so that she could have private time with her unconscious baby flitted across her mind. She had liked him instantly. She had hoped that he would prove to be a good friend to her lonely boy. Well it looked like she had gotten more than she had wished for; she had little doubt, from the sappy look on her son's normally cynical features that the feeling was mutual; Ezra would not allow himself to be excited if the feelings were one way. Besides, the way he kept brushing his lips as he spoke - an obvious tell if ever she saw one. She would have to check the Texan out. If he passed muster then they would have themselves a strong ally, but if he hurt her baby boy, then God help him, because the devil would be helping her.

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How could it all have gone so wrong so quickly!

Buck sat staring at what remained of his lasagne and sighed forlornly. It had seemed like such a good idea too. The trouble had started when he had underestimated the pull a crying baby had on the female psyche. He now fully understood the phrase 'babe magnet' and it wasn't what he had thought at all. It was the baby that was the magnet alright, but not for his romantic benefit. The moment that Junior had begun to wail Mandy slipped straight into motherly mode…and she didn't even have any kids. Something suddenly tickled at his subconscious at that thought; something to do with Vin, and Ezra. Nope, it had gone; oh well if it was important it would come back.

He replayed the latter part of the evening's events in his head and decided he would rather have been in Josiah's position today than his own.

"What the!" Mandy stared in horror at the 'baby' in her arms. Buck had tried to get ahead of her but his long legs had jammed themselves under the little used and too small dining table, and he had taken too long to get himself free. By the time he reached the flight attendant's side she was holding junior by his hair and dangling him in front of the agent like a prize exhibit in a county fair. He winced as he imagined what the chip would make of the action.

"Please Mandy, love, it ain't what you think…."

"What I think is that you thought that if I saw you in a caring light you'd get me into bed quicker…and you used this doll to do it."

Buck blushed and shuffled nervously, unable to meet the hard hazel eyes. Talk about hitting the nail on the head!

Mandy took his silence as confirmation of his intent and thanked her lucky stars for her escape from the lothario's clutches. She had the urge to throw the toy across the room but it had, after all, given her a timely warning; and it was really cute, so she settled for ramming it hard into Buck's chest at the same moment as her knee connected forcibly with his crotch. She watched with satisfaction as he crumpled, clutching the baby like a protective shield. Grabbing her coat and purse from the back of an armchair she flounced to the door.

"Don't bother calling again Bucklin. And don't think that you can con anyone else at the airport to go out with you either. After I'm done with you you'll be lucky to get a flight let alone a date." Mandy stormed out the door leaving a wailing baby and a whimpering agent on the floor.

Buck sighed once again at the memory. While his own bruising would heal quickly he feared that the on board computer would leave a lasting black mark against his and JD's skills. The threat of therapy, and losing the competition loomed large.

Buck wondered if there was anything that JD could do to reset the balance as it were. He had been taking an awfully deep interest in the technical manual lately. Buck's moustache twitched in consideration and he smiled. One thing you could say about Ole Buck, he told himself happily, was that you couldn't keep the old dog down for long. All he had to do now was persuade his partner that a little corrective surgery was in order. He rose to his feet and limped across to the kitchen; he was sure he had a pack of frozen peas in the icebox.

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Sundays went as most Sundays do, quietly. Nathan and Josiah went to church, Nathan keeping a tight grip on baby Joseph's carrier, and then on to the mission for dinner. Buck and JD were invited to Miz Nettie's for Sunday lunch and Nettie found herself quite taken with the infant - but she still couldn't see what the fuss was about. She made a note to herself to have a long talk with Vin; he was acting awfully strange lately, and from what she had heard was starting to spend a little too much time with the fancy pants undercover agent. No doubt the reprobate con man was leading her boy astray. She would have to convince Vin that no good could come of associating with the man. There was something not quite right about him. She hadn't been on this planet for seventy years without being able to spot a bad apple and she had a suspicion that he was definitely some sort of fruit, if you get the meaning. No, she wasn't having her boy exposed to the likes of him.

Vin and Chris spent the day at the ranch, just tending the horses and relaxing. Chris learning to care for little Alice and, by the look on his normally stern features, enjoying the experience. Vin would rather have been at Ezra's or had Ezra come over but a phone call had revealed that Maude was visiting and he didn't want to interfere in their all too infrequent time together. Maude hadn't seen Ezra since he was in hospital in a coma and by the time he was conscious she had gone. Some of the others had been scathing at her behaviour but he'd seen the look of devastation on her face and understood that she couldn't face watching her only child die. Maude was a complex woman, much like her son and Vin was an expert at understanding Ezra so he saw the truth through the cold mask. He hadn't said anything though; as far as the woman was concerned he wasn't awake during her brief visits to their shared ICU room. It was then that his admiration for her began to become liking. However right now he just wanted to strangle the woman for keeping him away from his love. He wanted more kisses dammit!

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Monday.

Back to work. They had all been briefed on the special measures taken to help them care for the simulacrums. Chris was a little off put at seeing the way his office had been turned into a mini creche but was thankful that either Evie or Orrin's secretary Gloria Potter would be there to supervise. He may have begun to get used to one infant but four was incomprehensible. Heck, he didn't know how Ezra was managing with two. They had also been informed, quite forcibly, that the creche was only to be used if work took them out of the office and not for lunch breaks or other personal reasons; Buck's moustache had drooped at that. The list of instructions and clarifications that they had been provided with on entering their bullpen had also made it clear that no bad behaviour from other teams towards them or their charges would be tolerated. Chris snorted. They didn't doubt for a minute that certain teams would have unholy plans for them, they had already come in nearly two hours early today after he had received a call from the leader of team 8 that team 3 had something planned. Even Ezra was here, in what was, for him, the middle of the night. Poor guy looked exhausted already; he would have to make sure that Nathan kept an eye on him. He didn't fear the attentions of the other teams but his men had enough to deal with so he hoped that everything was going to go smoothly. Hah! Who was he trying to kid!

As always when he thought of things going wrong Chris looked around him for Vin and Ezra. No sign. He hoped that that wasn't a bad omen. He stood up suddenly to greet Gloria as she arrived for duty, users manual in hand.

Ezra was drowning. Quite ecstatically, delightedly and passionately drowning….in Vin's arms, in Vins's kisses and in Vin's declarations of his love. He had spent the entire Sunday feeling like a half of him was missing and he suspected that he had aroused his mother's suspicions.

Right now that wasn't the only thing that was aroused.

Vin held Ezra tight as their tongues met in a dance as old as the hills, and his hands which had started their hold around the slim waist dropped slowly to bring their shared arousal's closer together. It was so tempting to allow their passion to carry them away but both knew that the conference room wasn't the place and this definitely wasn't the time. Both of Ezra's babies were in their carrier next to them and it would only take one cry to give the alert.

They broke away with mutual unspoken agreement, spoken agreement being nigh on impossible when you've practically tied your tongues in a knot, and mutual sighs promising each other that they would find time later to 'continue their discussion'. By the time they had recovered enough to leave the room Ezra had Vin in fits of laughter at Maude's introduction to the babies and Orrin's unwanted introduction to the world of take-out. Vin took charge of Victoria and Ethan while Ezra detoured to use the facilities.

"Well, well, if it isn't little mother Ezra"

Ezra froze in the act of drying his hands but he quickly resumed and with an air of nonchalance addressed his would be tormentor. He hadn't even had to turn round to put a face to the voice; Ray MacNally of Team 3.

"Mr MacNally. To what do I owe this honour." The normally warm southern tones dripped with icey cool disdain.

MacNally had hated Ezra since he had arrived. He would claim that it was because of Ezra's less than stellar reputation with the FBI, part of the hate campaign that had driven him out of Atlanta, but they both knew that it was MacNally's failure to get the undercover job on Team 7 that had triggered his attitude. The big, brawny and vindictive agent with the IQ of a rodent didn't scare the much smaller and much, much, more intelligent southerner but he could have done without the man riling him. His bullying tactics had been getting progressively more vicious and Ezra had enough on his plate at the moment.

"That all ya got to say Standish? Or you too tired from playing with your dollies" He laughed at his own comment and moved in until he was threateningly close to the smaller man. "Need to watch yer back Boy. Don't need you swanning round making the ATF look like a bunch of nancy boys; you're a disgrace to your team at the best of times. If you ain't careful someone might teach you a lesson in how to act like a real man instead of a poncy magazine model."

The words weren't anything that Ezra hadn't heard before but the sudden sharp jab of a fist to his solar plexus which sent him to his knees was unexpected, and unwelcome. No real damage had been done but the shock of the event kept Ezra in that position as, with a parting shot of saliva spat at his feet, MacNally turned and left.

Monday, Ezra reflected ruefully from his kneeling position, was not shaping up to be a good day.

TBC

A/N If chapters have slightly longer (or shorter) gaps between them it's because along with juggling fanfic & work I have also added the torment of adult education to my commitments and have a 4000 word project to research and write, but delays shouldn't be more than a few days here and there.

So what do you think? Will Maude take Vin under her wing ( poor man!), will Nettie take to Ezra at all? And will MacNally survive crossing the line with Ez when (if?) the others find out. And somebody hide the screwdriver from JD before that boy turns into Dr Frankenstein!


	7. Chapter 7

Rock a bye baby chapter 7

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own - I checked.

A/N I should apologise for the delay in posting but real life commitments have to come first….darn it.

A/N 2 A chapter in which Ezra is poorly and Vin takes care of him. Not much more to it than that I'm afraid.

.

'Well that was unexpected' Ezra mused as he got to his feet using the nearby washbasin as leverage. A quick spot of self diagnosis revealed no broken bones or any other injury that a couple of Tylenol wouldn't cure and a check in the mirror had him looking no worse for his unexpected communion with the floor. Sending up a silent prayer of thanks for efficient cleaning crews he gave his jacket a final brush down and exited the bathroom. Nobody would know that anything had occurred.

Vin watched as his Ezra entered the offices.

Something had happened.

He doubted that anyone else would have noticed but then they didn't have the same level of interest as he did in every aspect of the southerner. He knew better than to push for answers though. Instead he reassured his friend that the twins were settled, having placed one either side of the desk in the utilitarian but characterless cribs provided. He glanced round at the incongruous sight of the rest of his colleagues hard at work on their computers while their offspring resided beside them. He thanked God that the crooks they hunted down couldn't see them now.

The first day had gone well. Gloria Potter had looked after Junior while Buck and JD were in court which made the whole place a little less lively than it otherwise might have been, and Chris had been in meetings for most of the day which left Vin alternating between compiling his report and looking after Alice. He was also keeping a secret eye on Ezra who was looking a little peaky to his mind. Vin knew that he wouldn't see much of his love for the next day or so because it was his turn to be in court and going back to Ezra's wasn't an option since it seemed that Maude had staged an impromptu visit. He had laughed fit to bust when Ezra had filled him in on the details of her dramatic arrival which left the others looking at him as if he had gone crazy because they weren't privy to the joke. By quitting time Vin was happy that whatever had been bothering Ezra had gone away and that they had arranged for a private dinner later that week; and by the fire in the normally cool jade eyes it promised to be a very private dinner.

Tuesday went much the same way as the Monday, though, to Ezra's relief, without a repetition of the physical assault on his person. Chris was looking after Alice since he wasn't needed to testify and everyone's day was destined to be filled with boring but necessary paperwork.

That's when the others began to notice Ezra's parenting skills. By now every man had experienced the trauma of dealing with their infant while trying to hold down their normal routines. The way the baby cried at the self same moment that both carers had stepped away from their back to back desks. The argument over who got to go for lunch first since neither partner wanted to be seen in public with the carrier and trying to complete a report despite constant interruptions from curious colleagues who just happened to stop by to offer support, poke at the babies or tease mercilessly.

None of it fazed Ezra. No wonder the man was as cool as ice when undercover. Chris watched as his pain in the ass agent spoke into a hand held Dictaphone while pacing and rocking one of his twins back to sleep with the other hand. Then as soon as he had laid the infant down quickly transferring the spoken sections of his report into the written transcript. Come lunchtime, which had proved so contentious the day before, the local deli delivered soup, sandwiches and dessert for everyone to the office. Shocked thanks were given as Ezra signed for the delicious repast. By the end of the afternoon the others were on the verge of being in awe of their seventh. He had had twice as many sightseers to deal with, more intricate and detailed reports to file, as befits the teams undercover operative, lying completed in Chris's in-tray and two fed, changed and contented babies by his side. Josiah looked on with an almost parental pride, Buck wondered if it might be worth asking the southerner's advice on how to mix baby care and a social life and then realised that as far as he knew Ezra didn't have a social life, and Chris filled out a requisition form for a personal Dictaphone.

Everybody watched Ezra's smooth and seamless juggling of work and baby care but didn't offer their help. Ezra was obviously more than capable.

Nobody noticed how tired the man looked as he exited the office at the end of the day. Or how pale and exhausted he appeared to be next day.

Except Vin.

"You okay Ez?" Vin frowned as Ezra looked up from his computer screen with slightly squinted eyes. The southerner's normally pale ivory skin was an unhealthy shade of white and the normal sparkle in the ice jade eyes was absent, replaced by a dullness that indicated pain.

"I'm fi…."

"Uh uh, Ez" Vin shook his head to halt the automatic comeback that his partner used when asked that question. Didn't matter whether he was suffering from a hangnail or a bullet wound the answer was the same. The 'I'm fine' routine was a crock and Vin knew it…heck he'd used it enough times himself to know.

Ezra sighed in frustration. That was the trouble with getting close to someone; it got harder to fool them over the little things. He tried to tell himself that the fact that Vin could read him like a book and cared enough to worry about him was an annoyance but the warm feeling that spread through him instantly negated that self delusion. And Vin, as usual, was correct, he felt absolutely lousy. Now was definitely not the time to get one of his headaches, not with two babies, a mother and a pile of paperwork to deal with. He had hoped that it would fade away before really coming to anything, as they occasionally did, but he had reached the stage where he could hear his own pulse beat through his temple which meant that he was in for a rough few hours at least.

"Ez?" Vin repeated, the concern growing at the need to repeat the query.

"Wh…what? Oh sorry Vin" Ezra sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to slow the progress of the pain. It was as though acknowledging the situation had given it permission to attack in earnest. He attempted a reassuring smile and found the sharpshooter who held his heart suddenly waving his hand in the air calling for Nathan. He made a mental note to himself that smiling and excruciating pain did not make for good bedfellows. As Nathan bore down on them with the dedication of Florence Nightingale and the determination of The Terminator Ezra made a last effort to head off an imminent outbreak of mother hen syndrome.

"Please Vin, Ah'm fine, it is just a bad headache. I don't need…."

Too late.

Before he could protest further Nathan's broad strong hand was on his brow and Vin was kneeling beside him, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Ez, can you tell me what hurts? Are ya feeling ill?" Nathan couldn't see any obvious signs of injury or illness but with the man only having been out of hospital for a short while he wasn't taking any chances.

Ezra had his eyes closed now against the too bright lights and his breathing rate had increased. He could feel the other men's presence as they gathered round him; he could imagine the looks of concern…it was too much. He tried to concentrate on the feel of Vin's hand on his back as he answered in a rough, pain filled whisper.

"M…migraine."

"Shit" muttered Nathan as Vin's worry over his lover's health lessened but his anxiety over his suffering remained strong.

"What is it Nate?" Chris, like everyone else in the office, had heard Nathan's comment but not Ezra's whispered explanation.

Being careful not to speak too loudly Nate answered their leader.

"Ezra's got a migraine Chris; he needs to go home right away."

"I'll take him" Vin's offer had all the steel of a command. Chris raised an enquiring eyebrow but didn't receive a reply in his and Vin's legendary unspoken language. 'Odd', thought the team leader.

"The babies?"

"Don't worry Ez" replied Vin as he fished Ezra's sunglasses out of his desk drawer, "Chris'll look after Alice and I'll be there for Ethan and Victoria."

"Ah can't ask….ahhhh" Ezra clasped a trembling hand to the left side of his head. He was embarrassed at showing his pain and knew that unless he got away soon it would only get more humiliating.

"No need to ask Ez, I'm offering."

Ezra didn't have the energy to protest and nodded carefully. Ezra had often wondered why his communication skills were the first to desert him but he knew from experience that within the hour he would be fit for nothing but sleeping and the occasional pitiful whimper. Dammit! He hadn't wanted Vin to see him like this so early on in their relationship. Not that he thought for a minute that the Texan with a heart of gold would abandon him but it made him appear less than competent, less than perfect….and nobody loved imperfection. He wanted to laugh at how his mothers rather twisted view of people stuck after all these years but he was rather afraid that the sound would come over as hysteria.

As Ezra had been caught up in his thoughts and pain the others had been preparing him and the babies to leave.

"Nate, you go with Vin and get Ez settled and Vin, I don't want to see you back here until Ezra is better." Chris could have kicked himself. How could he have thought that anyone, even Ezra, would be able to handle all that he had these past few days without paying a hefty price. The man was just too damn good at fooling them.

Ezra, to his eternal humiliation, could barely hold himself upright and put one foot in front of the other as Vin supported him on the journey to the car, Nathan hovering alongside carrying the twins. Nathan grimaced at the massed weight of two babies and their carry baskets; if he found it no easy task then how much more difficult had his much smaller friend found it. Not that the undercover agent was soft. Nathan had been shocked at his first glimpse of the muscular torso, it confirmed his opinion that Ezra was tougher than he looked. But, even so, on top of all his other commitments the extra physical burden couldn't have helped the tension in the small frame. He would bet a months wages on this being a tension migraine….and none of them had done anything to lessen the load. Some teamwork.

Ezra followed Vin's guiding hand blindly, almost but not quite literally. Sunglasses in a poorly lit underground parking garage, plus eyes that kept clamping themselves shut in agony made navigation pretty impossible. He couldn't help but wonder, however, why nobody had accosted them on their journey, either with concern or ridicule. If he had been able to see he would have smiled at the intimidating looks anyone with the temerity to approach them had received from his guardians. As it was Ezra was just glad to reach the car without disgracing himself by stumbling or collapsing completely.

Maude Standish took almost everything that life threw at her in her stride, the recent 'unfortunate incident' excepted, and never to be mentioned again. But the sight of her darlin' boy in pain was always something that made her breath catch in her throat, and her Ezra had suffered far too much pain in his life. Nevertheless her actions belied her own emotional distress and she moved quickly and efficiently to help Vin in supporting her increasingly unstable son.

"Bring him through to the bedroom Mr Tanner. Mr Jackson could you settle the infants and then bring the medication from the bathroom cabinet; it is in injection form."

"Yes ma'am." Nathan was surprised at both the caring that Maude was displaying, having always considered her a bit of a cold fish, like her boy; and also that Ezra's medication did not come in tablet form. While common enough an application in hospital it was rarer to find it used by non medical personnel. He must have quite a bad history of headaches the medic mused, a twinge of unease at the thought that he may have missed past incidents because of his rather jaundiced view of the mercurial agent.

By the time he had returned to the master bedroom Vin and Maude had helped a protesting but cooperative Ezra to strip down to his boxers and Maude was heaping pillows up to ensure that Ezra would be almost sitting up; Nathan nodded, laying flat often aggravated this particular type of migraine. Ezra winced as he felt a needle enter his upper thigh and he made a note to buy the medic a bag of oranges to practice his technique before he allowed the expert knifeman to stab him with anything sharper than a cotton bud again….of course even that allowance was dependant on the proposed target of said bud.

"Thank you for that Mr Jackson, I absolutely loathe giving injections, however I am sure that Mr Tanner and myself can cope from here. You must be eager to complete your days work since I understand that you have a special night planned with your lovely young lady, Raine."

Nathan was astounded; how on earth did she know so much about him and his plans; well Ezra, obviously, but since when did Ezra care about what he was doing with his life! He would never understand the man but he was beginning to realise that he didn't necessarily have to understand him to like him.

"Thank you Mrs Standish, it's her birthday."

"Well, wish her many happy returns from me if you would be so kind."

"I will, and Chris has the number of the restaurant if Ezra needs me…"

Maude's smile was the kind that reached the eyes as she reacted to the generous offer; not many people would offer to interrupt their evening for a Standish. It certainly would never have happened with her sons former colleagues at the FBI.

By the time Nathan had departed Ezra was already drowsy due to the fast acting medication. Vin was surprised when Maude put on soft music but not when she shut the heavy curtains. She correctly interpreted his frown.

"The music is soft enough not to disturb him but there if he needs to distract himself from the pain."

Vin's expression cleared; made sense.

"I'll sit with him Mrs Standish, if that's alright with you?"

Maude resisted the urge to smirk and enquire what he would do if it wasn't. If she read her son right and the feelings were reciprocated then a team of wild horses wouldn't be able to drag him away. It gave her comfort to know that her lonely boy, abandoned by all, including herself, she admitted with a sorrow that she had long ago come to terms with but couldn't seem to make up for, finally had someone to stand by him.

"That will be fine Mr Tanner."

"Please call me Vin, Ma'am."

"Only if you call me Maude…Vin. Mrs Standish is bad enough but 'Ma'am' makes me sound old enough to actually be a grandmother."

"Heck Ma…Maude, you could have great grandchildren and you'd be mistaken for their sister."

Maude raised an eyebrow and graced the sharpshooter with a small but genuine cat-like smile.

"Either Texas is producing exceptionally charming young men or you have been learning from my son;

"Bit of both I reckon" Vin replied as he gazed down on the sleeping southerner, noticing the signs of pain etched on the handsome face even in his drugged deep sleep. "He be okay?"

"He will be fine Vin, as distressing as the condition is it is not life threatening. He has suffered since his teens and we have developed a sort of routine."

Vin nodded and wished he could hold the small elegant hand and stroke the silky chestnut hair.

Maude hoped that the young man didn't realise just how transparent his concern and his affection was at this moment, he would probably die of terminal embarrassment. Maude was normally loathe to make anything easier for anyone, after all nobody had ever done so for her, but she supposed that she could make an exception just this once.

"Can Ah leave him in your care while I see to the little bundles of simulated joy that our government has lumbered my son with?"

Vin turned quickly to face the acerbic tongued woman, ready to defend both the ATF and the babies that he had become so attached to, only to find the same mischievous sparkle in the woman's eyes as he was used to seeing in Ezra's.

"That'll be fine Maude. I'll take good care of him."

"See that you do Vin, Lord knows I have waited long enough for someone to offer….just don't ever let us down. I would be most displeased." The sparkle was still there but it shared space with a steely glint that brooked no argument.

She knew! Vin didn't waste time wondering how she had figured it out but he had seemed to have won her conditional blessing which, for a woman who trusted no-one, including herself, was all he could possibly ask.

"I promise."

The reply was simple and obviously directed at her underlying message. That he could read her true intent spoke well for both his intelligence and his common sense. He'd do.

"I will prepare us some lunch while you sit with Ezra; he may wake for a while soon but a few soft words of reassurance and he should slip back to sleep. Will an omelette and salad suffice? I am afraid that my culinary skills are not up to my son's standard but I get by." With a wave of her hand she left the room, leaving behind a hint of expensive perfume and a slightly shell shocked sharpshooter.

Vin pulled his chair closer to the bed and finally took hold of the manicured and smooth hand.

Vin had realised when Maude had explained about the music that Ezra was used to struggling through these attacks all alone. No more, he thought.

"Never be alone again Ez. I'll be your music for as long as you want it."

Ezra hated it when he began to drift back upwards towards the pain. Part of him knew that it marked the half way point and in a few more hours all would once again be well but it didn't really help when you couldn't think straight.

And then he heard Vin, who was promising not to leave him and for once in his life he took it on faith and slipped back into a healing sleep.

Buck couldn't wait to put his feet up and indulge in a couple of beers and some quality sports TV. Without Vin and Ezra the workload had been divided up between the rest of them; wouldn't be fair to let them come back to stacks of reports; his Ma had suffered from migraines and it took her a couple of days to get back to normal. Poor guy had obviously been pushing it these past few days, something was bound to give eventually. He frowned at the memory of Ezra's collapse at the office. There had been something that he had missed; some sort of sub text that…..

"Um, Buck?"

Buck started as he became aware of JD standing in front of him as though from nowhere. About to make some joking comment he noticed the guilty and somewhat nervous disposition.

Uh oh.

"JD, what have you done?"

"Um,….. Hell Buck I think I've killed the baby!"

"Oh shit."

TBC

A/N Just a short little episode - a sort of interlude. All that being perfect would leave a Stepford wife in a state of collapse let alone our Ez.


	8. Chapter 8

Rock A Bye Baby chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own them and that's probably a good thing because I have nowhere to put their horses or Ezra's Jag and Vin's jeep would probably be towed to the nearest junk yard.

A/N A big apology if you didn't receive a reply to your review but I saved all my reviews in this and other fandoms to the wrong place (PC instead of AOL) and then wiped them. But I did read them and thank you for your support.

Warning: there is talk of the remembrance of the death of a child in this chapter (not a simulacrum) Just so you know.

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Hey Mrs …Maude."

"Luncheon is ready Vin. I am sure that Ezra will sleep a while yet. Come and eat."

Maude left the room, not having spared her son a glance. It gave Vin a flush of anger. She had been the same while he and Ez were in the hospital; a burst of caring followed by a period of avoidance. He didn't understand it and Ezra had never offered an explanation. If it had been him you wouldn't have been able to prise him away from the southerner's side with a crowbar. With a sigh he switched on the baby monitor that Ezra had purchased when they had realised that for the sake of authenticity the babies were programmed to seek attention at night as well as during the day; straightening the covers and giving the sleeping man a gentle kiss on the soft and slightly parted lips he went to get his lunch.

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"Ezra was a twin." Maude winced as Vin choked on his omelette, which he'd proclaimed as excellent, as she dropped her little bombshell. She had seen the rebuke in his eyes at her seeming hot and cold approach she had to caring. She found it quite unsettling that this rather uncouth man's opinion of her mattered, but it did so she offered up a little piece of herself that she normally kept buried deep where it couldn't haunt her. Not that that was true any longer; she had been thinking of nothing else since she had set eyes on the 'baby' Victoria. She had no qualms about confiding in the Texan without consulting her son. She knew that he would talk of his lost sibling more if it weren't for the fact that he was aware of the hurt it caused her. The decision was therefore always hers to make. And Ezra would never enter into a relationship with a man he did not trust implicitly.

Vin hastily swallowed the mouthful of egg mushrooms and peppers but didn't speak. For one thing he was too shocked at her revelation and for another he could see that this was difficult for her.

"Her name was Lauren and she was older than Ezra by a few minutes. She was bigger too. Were you aware that Ezra was a premature birth?"

Vin shook his head and wondered if the woman realised just how little Ezra gave away of his childhood.

"Indeed" she continued, a wistful smile sketching her lips, "He was the smallest thing you ever saw, just 2lbs 9oz. But he was a fighter and he was strong. Lauren was a fighter too and at 3lb 2oz she should have been the stronger one but her lungs hadn't formed properly and I only got to hold her for a little while before she lost her fight. I had them both in my arms for mere moments and then it was just Ezra and I."

Vin could see the renewed grief in the normally unreadable eyes but he also sensed that she needed to say these things and felt privileged that she had chosen him.

Maude hadn't thought that she would have the courage to say those words and to an almost stranger too…yet in truth someone who had instantly felt like family; this trusting was an odd sensation…no wonder it terrified and fascinated her boy so. She could see that he had questions and she hadn't finished either. Her need to make him understand why she seemed so cool in the face of her son's suffering still hadn't been adequately explained.

"What about their father?"

Maude took a deep breath. If talking about Lauren was difficult then talking about the only man she had ever really loved still hurt like hell.

"Sorry I…"

"No, please Vin, that is quite alright. I wanted you to understand some things, some things that when seen out of context can be misunderstood by those unaware of the situation….My Patrick died two weeks before Lauren and Ezra were born. In fact the doctors thought that the grief probably shocked me into premature labour." Maude was surprised to see the young man's eyes glisten; he must really love Ezra, she thought, to be so affected by the memories of people he had never met. She didn't wait for him to ask the next question, it was obvious what it would be.

"He was attacked on his regular patrol" she smiled at the widening eyes. "Yes, believe it or not the greatest and only love of my life was a police officer."

"Explains why you hate Ez being in Law enforcement."

Maude nodded. "I still live in hope of him seeing sense, but I would rather see him with your team than the FBI - even if it is controlled by that Neanderthal you call a leader."

Vin grinned. As far as feelings were concerned hers and Chris's feelings ran along the same tracks, though with different rolling stock. The grin, and Maude's smile at the mental image of caveman Larabee soon faded as she continued her tale.

"He was an honest cop, Mr Tanner and he would have been a wonderful father but it was that honesty that got him killed, just as it was my son's honesty that nearly cost him his life at the Bureau. No Mob leader tolerates a cop that knows too much and can't be bought . I sat by Patrick's bedside for three days while he slowly drifted away from me and I watched my baby take her last breath while in my arms."

She was done. She could say no more without breaking and a Standish did not break down, whether in front of foe or family. Thankfully she didn't need to say any more.

"I understand Maude." And Vin did. He understood pretty much everything and while grief affected everyone differently he could see why it had frozen the heart of a woman who had long before learned not to let people in.

Didn't mean that a part of him wouldn't keep some anger in his heart for the way his love had suffered because of her inability to come to terms with her losses. He also knew that she would expect nothing less from the man who loved her son.

As Maude began to remove the lunch plates from the table a quiet whimpering could be heard from the monitor and it wasn't the babies. Ezra needed him more than Maude did at the moment. Maude handed him two little yellow pills and a glass of water.

"He should be able to keep these down now and they will dispel the last of the pain. Expect him to be a little out of sorts for a day or so though, it's always the way. I will be leaving in an hour or so…a previous engagement with an old school friend who seems to have done rather well for himself. Give my regards to Ezra and tell him that I shall see him soon."

Vin nodded his understanding. She was giving them the time they needed to be alone and also avoiding having to see her son suffer any more. He doubted that there was any friend, although if there was he'd better keep a tight grip on his wallet. Vin put her out of his head as soon as he re-entered the bedroom. Ezra was all that mattered now.

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"JD! Slow down, sit down, put that screwdriver down and tell me what the hell happened….in plain English not that techno babble you've been spouting since we took delivery of junior."

JD winced, "Please don't call him…it….junior, it makes me feel like a murderer."

"You sure it's dead…I mean bust?"

"Well it's stopped moving, and breathing and it hasn't uttered a sound in the last half hour, so yeah, pretty sure. And I don't know what I did wrong. I was only trying to adjust the timer control for the feeding setting, so it wouldn't take so long, but then there was a beeping sound and the whole system shut down. Oh God Chris'll kill me! Travis will have me paying for it till I retire and I'll be the laughing stock of the whole building.

Buck couldn't really argue with his young protégé's assessment of his predicament. His Mama had told him that cheaters never win and it looked like she was right. But he couldn't let the kid take the fall all by himself, especially since he'd egged him on in the first place. He watched as, far from sitting down, the normally hyperactive Agent had gone into overdrive, pacing the room like a caged tiger. Unfortunately as much as his body couldn't keep still his brain seemed to have seized up completely - unless the occasional "Oh God!" counted as brain function.

Buck closed his eyes to shut out the nausea inducing constant movement and put his own brain to work - he could almost hear Chris laugh at his claim to have grey matter upstairs since he seemed to do most of his thinking with his 'downstairs brain' but juggling three girlfriends at once without them finding out about each other took a certain level of smarts and he had gotten it down to a fine art…wasn't his fault that Shelly had been transferred onto the same route as Felicity.

After a few moments intense thought and one stray daydream about Julia Roberts Buck opened his eyes to find that JD had finally given up on his on the spot marathon and was sitting on a recliner with his head thrown back as though looking upward for divine intervention.

"Can you hack into the company and get the plans or schematics or whatever and fix him yourself?"

JD brightened for a second but then with a fresh look of misery hung his head.

"Could get the schematics but I think I've already proved that I've flunked the practical. I'm a computer programmer not a robotics expert."

As Buck deflated a little at the shooting down of his one and only idea he noticed that JD seemed to be deep in thought and he had that getting ready to be excited look on his face. The exclamation when it came was not what he had expected of a 'Eureka' moment.

"Bobby Pickles."

"He does?" Buck's response was automatic but he was glad that it had raised a smile on his formerly panicking roomie.

"Bobby Pickles. We were at MIT together and while I was the typical computer geek he was heavily into robotics. If anyone could help me fix things it's him." His face fell. "But we didn't keep in touch. Last I heard was he was planning on touring Asia after graduation, maybe staying a while in Japan."

Buck felt the worry slide off like grease on a burger. Finding people was his territory, and with a name like 'Pickles' it shouldn't prove too hard.

"Don't worry kid, we'll track him down first thing tomorrow back at the office. Now get on the phone to Casey…if I remember right you wanted to go see that new movie."

"That's great Buck" he said in response to the first part of Buck's statement but then frowned. "But I thought that you were the one with the hot date tonight?"

"Heck kid, the off switch is the best babysitter you can get; we might as well make the most of the free time before junior is fixed."

"Cool!"

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"Hey baby." Vin watched as pain filled green eyes squinted open; the dim light being almost too much for them.

Now that they were on their own Vin had relaxed and shucked off his shoes and outer shirt leaving just his tee and jeans. He sat at the side of the bed with glass in hand. Ezra hadn't been awake when he'd entered the room but Vin could tell from the little sounds of distress that he was near the surface. It hurt him to see the lines of pain appear on the normally flawless face; it hurt him even more to know that he usually went through this alone. That he had never been able to bring himself to ask any of them for their help or even just their company. Vin had no doubt that it was simply that having never had comfort during illness it never occurred to him that anyone would say yes if he asked. Ezra always feared being a burden. That was one of the many things they had in common.

Just as the southerner's eyes flickered open Vin heard one of the babies begin to cry. For the first time since the project had started he ignored it. He would enter the reason later in the log book but as much as he loved the little things a real life Ezra won hands down every time.

"You with me Ez? Got some pills for ya baby."

Vin's eyes misted up as he saw the sheer disbelief, bordering on awe, in his lover's eyes. And he knew that it was because he had not been left to suffer alone. This was soon confirmed by his whispered comment.

"You stayed." Through his haze of discomfort Ezra realised how the comment might have sounded. "I…I didn't mean…"

Vin smiled gently

"I know Ez. Maude had to go but I guess she felt that she'd left you in good hands."

Before Ezra could form a reply from the confused mess that his brain seemed to always become during a migraine a glass of water was held to his mouth and his painkillers were proffered. He took the tablets and a small sip of water and made sure to keep silent as Vin lay down beside him and gathered him up into his arms. Dreams like this were so easily shattered and this was a dream he never wanted to wake up from. He felt lips pressing into his temple. He'd never had a dream that was real before.

"Go to sleep Ez. You'll feel better when you wake up."

Ezra was asleep before he could tell Vin that even through the pain he had never felt better in his life than in the Texan's embrace.

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Nettie Wells wasn't the sort of woman to waste her time on fruitless emotions like guilt. Yet she had to admit to a certain amount of unease at her attitude to these fake babies. She really hadn't expected the hardened individuals that made up Team 7 to take so enthusiastically to pseudo parenthood. To see Chris Larabee treating a lump of plastic and circuits like a piece of porcelain, however, had quite shocked her. She had heard of Vin's obsession with 'Alice' but had put it down to his innate sense of perfectionism. Just wanting to do the job to the best of his ability as always. Now she wondered if it was the lack of a family upbringing that was driving him. She had a funny feeling that he might be a tad miffed with her and if she'd truly hurt his feelings then he had every right to be. It wasn't as though he was from the same stable as that Fanceyman. It was obvious why he was displaying feminine qualities. His kind did things like that. Still with Chris taking more of an interest in the project that should mean Vin spending more time at the ranch and less time at that high price 'abode'. It should but it obviously wasn't. She had just come off the phone to the ranch to invite Vin and Chris over for dinner and low and behold Vin was over at Ezra's leaving Chris quite literally holding the baby. Course Chris being Chris didn't mind and his claim that Ezra had a migraine was something that was bound to draw the Texan boy's protectiveness out. Damn con-artist was probably milking it for all he was worth.

It was about time somebody fetched Vin home so's he could rest instead of expecting him to play nursemaid. Standish was old enough to look after himself. Since there wasn't anybody else willing to call the man's bluff she guessed that it was down to her, but first she had to make a stop at the ranch. Chris had something she needed.

Nettie pulled up outside Ezra's and pulled the doorkey from the glove box. She knew that the leader of Team 7 kept spare keys for all his men's homes in case of emergencies and she didn't want to wake Vin if'n he'd fallen asleep, so she thought it best to keep it quiet.

Opening the door she was ready to enter the alarm deactivation code but found that it hadn't been turned on. She checked each room quickly but with a critical eye over the obviously expensive décor and furnishings, She could think of better things to spend money on than fripperies and fancies. She hesitated before entering what she presumed was the bedroom. Perhaps Vin had already left? Of course it would be just like that Diva to keep the soft hearted sharpshooter waiting on him hand and foot.. Well! She would soon put an end to that!

Opening the door quietly she stepped inside.

"Lord protect us! Get your perverted hands off that boy now you disgusting animal!"

TBC

A/N Bit shorter than normal but I just had to leave it there, I'm a drama queen at heart. Lol. Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter Vin & Ez need to do some damage control. Will their relationship be accepted and will Bobby Pickles get JD out of the pickle he got himself in? Oh and happy 4th July to our American cousins.


	9. Chapter 9

Rock a bye baby chapter 9

Disclaimer: We all know that I don't own any of the characters or the show but how can I delude myself that I do if ya'all keep making me admit it!

A/N Homophobic comments ahead - I don't condone them but nonetheless they're necessary to the plot. So apologies in advance.

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Vin didn't think that he'd ever felt so contented as he did at this moment. He lay on the large feather bed with the man he loved held in his arms. It didn't get better than this. Well, not without both of them being awake anyway. Ezra had relaxed as the medication swept away the last of his headache and he was now in a normal sleep….and he was a snuggler, which was duly filed away for later use in teasing. Intending to watch over his partner…in every sense of the word now, he thought with a smile….he instead drifted into a light doze; the scent of the vanilla and exotic spices that was Ezra smelling sweeter than a summers day. He smiled in his sleep as his subconscious felt his southerner curl up closer into his chest and his dreams took on a definite romantic turn.

"Lord protect us! Get your perverted hands off that boy now you disgusting animal!"

Vin's eyes snapped open and he froze as his brain tried work out if he was still dreaming, in which case his dream had just taken a nasty turn, or whether Nettie Wells was really standing in Ezra's bedroom. And if she was why?

Ezra, with a lifetime of practice at reacting to sudden change and potential danger, didn't even bother wondering why Nettie was in his room. He only knew that from her words she was obviously surprised, and plainly not pleased. He also knew that his one and only goal was to protect Vin. He disentangled himself from the lanky Texan and moved so that only he was within striking range of the woman; not that he would consider her capable of violence toward her surrogate son if he were thinking normally but he had slipped automatically into his 'undercover Ezra' persona, and undercover Ezra didn't take chances. He did, however, run through his options, deciding quickly that sweet talking would not be of any use. The more he talked the more he seemed to antagonize the old crone. He had to act expeditiously though as he could see out of the corner of his eye that Vin was probably about to say something incredibly honest and sweet…and very stupid.

Aware that there was no friendship for him to lose with this woman but that there was everything for his lover to lose he stepped further away from the bed so that her line of sight no longer included the other man. Ezra wanted these words to be associated only with him. He gave her the benefit of his best, coldest and most disdainful expression, conning and cards not being the only skills he had learned from Maude, though privately he acknowledged that the effect would be stronger if he were clad in more than his boxers.

"Mrs Wells; whilst my faculties are not up to their usual standards when I suffer from a migraine I am aware that I did not invite you to witness my suffering. I am also certain that none of the people who have had my permission to be here would have left my front door open so that any Tom Dick or Harry could wander in."

"I was…"

Ezra didn't let her finish. If there was one thing he valued above all else…well until Vin had come into his life….it was his privacy. His home was the one place he felt secure and she had just undermined that.

"What you were doing was committing a criminal act. Breaking and entering is still a crime Mrs Wells and so is assault."

"I didn't touch you!" Nettie was as horrified by the southerner's words as she was by her initial discovery. She wanted to turn towards Vin, to see why he wasn't defending her comments but her eyes remained fixed on the ice cold pale green eyes of the man opposite her like a rabbit faced with an oncoming car's headlights. She could only think that Vin's silence was a result of him being shocked at finding himself accosted by someone he had thought to be a friend.

"Assault can be verbal as well as physical, madam. But before I escort you off of my property…or report you to the police for trespass as well as the offences I have already stated let me make it perfectly clear that whatever I may have done under the influence of my medication Vin is in no way responsible for my actions."

"Well I know that, Vin wouldn't…"

"NO!"

Ezra's heart sank as Vin yelled his denial and then soared at the thought that he had finally found someone who would defend him…who would want to claim him. Not that he could let him of course, but it was wonderful nonetheless.

"Please Vin, you're…."

"No Ez" Vin's comment was quieter this time but no less resolute. He knew exactly what Ezra was planning on doing. It was what he always did when there was trouble, draw the wrath to himself to protect his companions. In this case they were both aware that being caught in a homosexual relationship could end their careers, equality laws notwithstanding, and he wanted to make sure that only one of them suffered the consequences of their actions. Vin didn't know whether to be happy at having someone care for him so much or angry that someone else he had called a friend, family even, would be so cruel and judgemental. Heck, Maude wasn't even a particularly nice person; in the morals department the old woman towered head and shoulders above the crafty con woman, yet she had managed to accept the situation with good grace and good wishes. What right did Nettie have in playing God.

"No" he repeated as he moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with his lover. He handed him the bathrobe that had been draped over the chair and Ezra gratefully put it on. "Miz Nettie, I think you should leave now. You wasn't invited and you're opinions ain't welcome. Whatever is between Me and Ez is none of your business and unless you want to lose a friend you should respect that."

To say that Nettie was shocked was an understatement. For a moment she had almost believed that Vin, her Vin, was truly in a relationship with the southerner but then she rationalized what she was seeing and hearing. Vin was no more the sort of man that would allow a colleague, no matter how heinous his behaviour, to be attacked, even verbally in such a situation; in fact he probably did believe that the con man's actions were the result of medication. Heck she might have believed it too if she hadn't already come to the conclusion that the man was a pervert. But he was a cunning pervert. She hadn't missed the way the slimy man had her boy at his beck and call, fetching him his robe without even having to be asked as though he were some sort of slave. But she was smart enough to see also that Vin wouldn't think that way so she backed off. It was the only thing she could do, for now. After all she **was** guilty of the offences Standish had cited.

But there was more than one way to skin a faggot and somebody she knew who was a lot scarier than her to do the skinning; and what's more Vin was likely to listen to him.

With a wounded look for Vin and a glare for Ezra Nettie made to take her leave.

"Mrs Wells, aren't you forgetting something?"

Nettie turned sharply….if he thought that an apology would pass her lips then….

"The front door key." Ezra finished and held out his hand which was as steady as a rock by sheer force of will alone.

Nettie had genuinely forgotten and handed over the key gladly. If he thought that she wanted to return to this den of iniquity then he had another think coming. She would have to shower when she got home as it was. She just wished that she didn't have to leave her boy there, but at least now he was forewarned and if she had her way he would soon be free too.

It wasn't until the door snapped shut, once again giving them the privacy they had taken for granted, that Ezra allowed his emotions to surface. His headache, although gone, had left it's usual fatigue and confusion in it's wake which he had countered with a burst of adrenaline at the intrusion. With that suddenly gone it was all he could do to stand on his own two feet. Not that he had to because Vin was guiding him back to the bed where he pulled him down so that he could curl into him.

Vin felt the tremors coursing through Ezra's body as he pulled him onto the bed and all he could do was hold his normally strong lover until they subsided. He knew that the emotional fear was more for what this would mean for him; Ezra always put others before himself. But he was also sure that some of it was a reaction to the migraine. He wasn't all that steady himself though his shakes were due to anger. Nettie Wells had every right to her opinion, though he would have hoped that she might have put her prejudices aside for people she had claimed as family. For her to then barge in on Ezra and attack him when she knew he was vulnerable….well he wasn't sure he could ever forgive that. Wasn't sure he even wanted to try.

As the warmth of Vin's body and the scent of citrus and herbs that was his scent seeped into Ezra's cold and tired body and mind the shivering slowly passed and he once again gave into sleep, but not before his lips found Vins and they reaffirmed their commitment to each other, slowly and lovingly; both reassuring the other that whatever else changed their feelings had only grown stronger in the face of it.

"You need to see to the babies." Ezra reminded in between two massive yawns.

"I know. I'll go when you're asleep, now hush, you're still not a hundred percent better."

There was silence for a while and just as Vin felt Ezra's breathing even out the southerner jerked awake and added,

"You know she'll run to Chris don't you?. That's where the key came from."

"I know, but we'll deal with that later. Go to sleep before I sing ya a lullaby."

"Good Lord!" Ezra's fear was not unfounded; Vin's singing was on a par with his coffee making…abominable.

Vin chuckled. To think that they thought that guns were his ultimate weapon. It worked though as Ezra was asleep in minutes. Vin, however, didn't join him in slumber this time. He stayed awake to make sure that nobody else threatened his Ezra; and because he still had too much anger coursing through him. All his life people and fate had tried to take away the people and things in life that made him happy, but not this time. Ezra was his. His to love, his to treasure and his to protect…and woe betide anybody who tried to take him away.

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Josiah and Nathan sat in the office staring in horror at the memos in front of them; memos that had yet to be read by any of the others seeing as baby Joseph had kept them both awake so late into the night that they hadn't seen any point in going to bed. They had tried taking turns but each kept forgetting that it was their turn and the neighbours had begun to complain about the constant crying. One old dear had even threatened to report them to child services until they explained that the baby wasn't real and just why they were caring for it. She then warned them that she was going to complain to the President instead, citing the waste of her taxpayer's money on silly games. Nathan had been concerned until Josiah had pointed out that she had been complaining to the President since Jimmy Carter had been in power and that the oval office could be wallpapered with her ongoing row with Mr Kaplinski over his dog's unsavoury habits alone. It still didn't help them form a workable routine which was why they had beaten everybody into the office; Nathan had to admit to a greater respect for Ezra and his efficiency, even if it did come at a price - he would have to remember to check on his friend, and for the first time he felt that Ezra truly was a friend and not just a colleague, if he didn't come in by lunchtime. Even though he knew that he was in good hands with Vin he still worried when any of them were ill. 'You'd think that being such a mother hen I'd be better at this baby business' he mused as he re-read the evil memo. Chris was going to go ballistic.

Buck and JD had already hashed out a reason why they didn't have junior in tow this morning. Buck's less than monogamous ways coming in useful for once as he invented a new girlf riend who had wanted to get into the whole baby experience by babysitting the infant. Nobody would have believed him of course, but everybody believed JD and he spent the rest of the morning feeling guilty at his deception. He just hoped that their con didn't have to last too long and Buck could track down Bobby Pickles quickly. Speaking of cons; Ezra was eyeing them both as if he could see straight through their ploy…probably could, JD concluded. But there was something else too, an air of tension that couldn't just be explained by the terrible memo they had all received. One that made the threat of mandatory psyche evaluations look like a reward rather than a punishment. And to top it all Chris was late. How could they deal with this business without Chris, unless he had already heard and was tearing Travis a new one already. JD sighed. It was too early in the day for all this crap and to make it worse every time one of the other babies began to cry he felt guilty all over again. It seemed that the only good thing to come out of the past couple of days was the way everyone helped Ezra more with the twins. No-one had realised until he had collapsed just how much the man had on his plate.

As JD nudged Buck, ready to ask once again if progress had been made, it had been at least five minutes since he'd last enquired after all, a baby began to wail from the section of the office where they had put them all in a neat little row behind a bamboo screen - for some reason very little work got done when visitors spied babies at the sides of desks and the screen, while giving an air of seclusion still fell within the rules. Only Ezra and Vin's desks had full view.

"It's Michael, Josiah." Ezra called only for Buck to yell

"Thought his name was Joseph."

"It is!" answered Nathan.

"Isn't" replied Josiah with a long suffering sigh. For two men who hadn't even bothered to come up with a name until the simulacrum arrived they had become very possessive of their own choice. Their squabble had gotten so bad that one of the Sisters at the mission had presumed that he and Nathan were the ones with twins.

Nathan winced at the petulance in both his own tone of voice and his partner's. It really shouldn't have been this difficult to cooperate, after all they worked together closely every day without trouble. He had a feeling that this project had more behind it than they had thought, because if they couldn't allow for each others opinions outside of business perhaps they weren't giving the public as much care and attention as they deserved. He was also wishing that he hadn't wagered quite so much money on himself and Josiah in the betting pool. He wasn't nearly so confident of winning now. In fact his money would switch to Ezra or maybe even Buck. Oh to be beaten by Buck! He would never live it down…and if Raine found out he would probably never get a chance to be a father.

"Okaaay" Buck, contrary to popular belief did occasionally know when to keep his mouth shut. Besides he quickly became distracted by his computer alerting him to the completion of it's task. He scanned the information and grinned. 'Result'!

"Well?" JD was hopeful given that Buck's moustache was twitching like a cat's whiskers, always a sign that Buck had succeeded in something sneaky…or was about to get laid. And he was pretty sure that wasn't the case since that the only female present was Gloria Potter.

Buck turned to his impatient partner but before he could answer the door to the Team 7 offices slammed open and a figure of barely controlled violence and rage stormed to his office, only to detour to the conference room when he saw that it was occupied by Mrs Potter…knitting bootees.

VIN, EZRA! CONFERENCE ROOM NOW!"

Bucks eyebrows rose; he hadn't seen Chris this pissed off in a long long time. He certainly wouldn't want to be in his two young friend's shoes for all the tea in China. He watched as the duo exchanged glances, faces pale but expressions resolute. He also noticed the subtle meeting of fingertips in a mutually reassuring caress as they moved away from their desks; Ezra nodded at Josiah's call that they would look out for the babies and he caught Buck's eye as he passed by, a small sad smile of acknowledgement for the understanding he saw in the dark blue eyes. Vin gave Buck a solemn nod as he too realised that Buck had guessed. And then they were gone…into the lion's den.

"Oh Shit!" Buck whispered as all the little pieces that had been bothering him of late fell into place. He got up from his desk, swinging his computer screen to face JD in answer to his curiosity about the whereabouts of his old college friend. As important as fixing the baby was this was far more urgent. Those boys looked like they were going to need someone in their corner and soon. When Chris got that angry any sense he had tended to go out the window pretty quick and he was in danger of saying something he couldn't take back, even if he almost certainly didn't mean it.

His walk turned into a run as he heard the sound of breaking glass and a muffled thump as if a body had fallen to the floor.

TBC

A/N I know, I'm cruel. Hope nobody minds me demonizing Nettie. Since I didn't do it to Maude she was the prime candidate :D It's a tad shorter than usual but not by much. Oh, and please don't tell me off for Chris's attitude - all may not be quite as it seems. Then again it might. LOL


	10. Chapter 10

Rock a Bye Baby Chapter ten

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't profit, just playing.

A/N Oooh! Who'd 've thunk that a teeny weeny little cliffie could cause so much excitement :D Well beneficent author that I am I have decided to take pity and whip up the next chapter pretty sharpish….but I'm not feeling guilty…not at all…nope. (and if I get hexed by Supernatural readers because their update is late I'll set Maude on you all :D ) Oh and almost all of this chapter deals with the conference room scene.

A/N 2 I am considering putting up another fic that I've been working on soon but be assured that it won't be replacing this one it will just run concurrently until this finishes. The next fic will be a rambling bit of nothing but for some reason I'm very fond of it. However updates on rock a bye will always take precedence.

.

The sight that greeted Buck as he charged into the conference room was everything that he had expected…yet somehow not. He froze in puzzlement, his sharp eyes running quickly over the scene, picking up the clues. Though the genial ladies man may have given the impression of being laid back to the point of being horizontal he was a highly trained investigator and it quickly became obvious that things weren't as they seemed.

Buck first noticed that the sound of breaking glass had been caused by the shattering of a drinking glass, the pieces of which lay beneath the far wall of the room, an empty space in the huddle of glasses in the centre of the long table pointing to the glass's starting point. The 'falling body' sound was explained by the two tangled agents who were frozen in position on the carpeted floor, eyes firmly and warily fixed on the man before them.

It was Buck's first sight of his oldest friend, Chris Larabee, sitting on the table's edge, feet balanced on the chair seat in front of him so that he could rest his elbows on his raised knees that gave him pause for thought. His left hand supporting his chin as his right swept through his blond hair indicated apparent frustration rather than anger. Yet his two friends were undeniably on the floor which spoke of some sort of violent act. Buck was confused, and what was most peculiar was that by the looks on their faces so were Ezra and Vin. And to be honest as much as he respected Chris's bad boy persona he knew without a doubt that either of the two younger men could have thrashed him given sufficient provocation. Very strange.

In the bare fifteen seconds that it took for Buck to absorb and fail dismally to understand the situation he realised that all eyes had been turned on him and to make matters worse the others had followed him, at first out of curiosity and then as he had broken into a run, out of concern. The result was a crowd of bemused and worried faces in the doorway and two embarrassed agents on the floor. The last participant in the farce looked around him from his position on the table top and began to chuckle.

Now the men were really worried. A laughing Larabee was not a thing to be taken lightly.

Chris looked at his friends in the doorway. He could see that Josiah, JD and Nathan were sporting looks of combined confusion and bemusement. They obviously didn't have a clue as to what was going on. Buck on the other hand was a different matter. It didn't take over twenty years of friendship to recognize the genuine worry and slight tinge of anger and warning in the glance sent his way. He looked back down to his boys on the floor. Neither had moved yet both were poised for fight or flight; he had to concede that since his first act on entering the room could be seen as a violent one, even though the only victim was a cheap drinking glass, he couldn't really blame them for their lack of trust. And with what they must have gone through….his eyes sparked fire as he thought once again of the tale he had been told but toned it down as soon as he saw the tense response in the pair on the floor and Buck's hesitant step forward ready to intervene. Time to get this mess sorted, he concluded.

He turned towards the group at the door.

"Can you give us a few minutes guys? Don't worry, it's nothing serious."

The latecomers nodded and wandered back to their desks, speculating just what sort of a mess their troublesome two had gotten themselves into this time, but Buck didn't move, his natural protective instinct coming to the fore.

"Guys?" He addressed his query to Vin and Ezra who were disentangling themselves and getting to their feet while still keeping a judicious distance from their leader. Both men were receiving mixed signals and while normally excellent readers of people were, for once, baffled as to their boss's motives. They turned as though one person to the lanky lothario, questioning looks on their faces.

"You want me to stay?"

"Buck I don't think…" Chris began but was interrupted by Ezra's uncharacteristically hesitant tone.

"A…Ah think, Mr Larabee, t…that Mr W…Wilmington has already g..guessed the nature of our s…situation." Ezra unobtrusively gripped Vin's jacket sleeve as he spoke in a non-verbal attempt to remind himself that this was not like Atlanta, that he was not alone any more. The reasons may be different but one thing that always ran true in the ex-cons life was that when his world was torn apart he always stood alone. But not this time. This time he had Vin.

Vin had felt the tug on his sleeve and understood immediately his partner's need to re-establish contact. He didn't know what was going on in Chris's head and suspected that their first assumption of imminent violence had been wrong, but still, Buck's expression had been nothing but supportive and if he was wrong in his reading of his leader then Buck was probably the only one that could control him.

"We'd like Buck to stay Chris, if'n that's okay?"

Chris nodded. In truth he was glad not to have to face this alone though he suspected that his friend was viewed more as back-up on his two younger friend's side. He felt a twinge of guilt that his reaction had caused them fear.

"Close the door Buck. We have a bit of a situation. It's complicated"

"Need to know one thing before we go any further Chris" Chris nodded, he wouldn't have expected anything else.

"I didn't attack them Buck. I was angry, can't deny that but it wasn't them I was angry at. Concerned for them and worried about them but hell, it's Vin and Ez…when don't I feel that way about them?"

The two immediate protests and Buck's responding chuckle seemed to diffuse the tension a little.

"I am afraid that the undignified position you found us in on your arrival, Buck, was entirely our own fault. We miscalculated Mr Larabee's response to news that we were aware that he would be receiving and upon his destruction of federal property each of us thought only to offer the other what limited protection we could given that neither of us wished to do any harm to Mr Larabee's person, his reaction being entirely understandable under the circumstances. Unfortunately in our haste to render each other rapid assistance we neglected to note our relevant positions and a slight accident occurred."

Buck looked at the southerner with glazed confusion and an inarticulate sound escaped from his slack jaw. Chris winced in sympathy while Vin just shook his head in fond exasperation before stepping in with the translation.

"Chris was told by Nettie that we was gay; he went ballistic and smashed the glass. We figured that one of us was next and tripped over ourselves trying to protect each other. Ended up in a heap."

"Okay, maybe not so complicated" muttered Chris.

"Ohhh. I get it now" admitted Buck, eyes twinkling and moustache twitching.

"That's what Ah said!" Nobody was quite sure whether Ezra's pout was real or fake but Vin thought it was absolutely adorable.

After taking a few moments to calm down and deal with the broken glass the four men sat down to deal with the issue that caused the trouble in the first place.

"How long have you known. Buck?" It was Chris who got the question in first but it was something that both Vin and Ezra wanted to know too since they had only been together a few days. Had they been that indiscreet?

"Only a few minutes. But there were little tells over the past day or so that suddenly came together. Nothing obvious to most if you're worried about this getting out."

"I am afraid that the cat is already out of the bag Buck" replied Ezra sadly "And the cat has claws and a very vocal meow."

At Buck's puzzled look Vin took over. His tone was a little defensive and he wore a slight blush but his words were unrepentant.

"Ez was in a lot of pain with his headache and we were in the privacy of his own home…weren't doing nothing wrong" He addressed the last comment to Chris and both he and Buck noticed that Ezra's hand gently clasped the slightly larger and rougher hand of his partner in unspoken support.

"Nobody's saying you were Vin" assured Chris, his temper having dissipated in the face of his friend's anxiety.

Vin nodded and resumed.

"Anyway Maude had left and Ez was asleep, the medication knocks him out; so I shucked off my jacket and shoes and …." Vin's reticence finally got the better of him and he faltered.

"And he held me, and comforted me like anyone who loved somebody would do. For the first time in my life I slept peacefully in the knowledge that I was loved and protected." Ezra voice was soft, barely above a whisper but his eyes held the echo of the awe he had felt at Vin's touch and a hint of challenge to anyone who wanted to belittle the experience.

Chris was suddenly reminded of his Sarah and the very beginning of their relationship when everything was new and scary yet held the certainty that things could only get even better. It cut him deep that Nettie Wells was trying to take that future away from his boys. He remembered just in time not to let his anger show….not until he was facing the right person anyway.

Buck saw the fear and the pride in the two pairs of eyes, one sky blue and the other jade green, and for the first time since he had seen the richness of Chris's relationship with Sarah he wondered if playing the field was worth the price. Maybe there was a lady out there for him; maybe if he dated a woman for more than a week he might find out. He tucked the idea away in the back of his mind for later consideration. Now wasn't the time for daydreaming. He listened with growing anger as Vin resumed the tale.

"Anyway I dozed off and all of a sudden Miz Nettie was standing there in Ezra's bedroom spouting off all manner of hurtful stuff, almost all of it at Ez" Vin gently caressed Ezra's hand reassuringly as it tightened around his with the remembrance of her vitriolic comments.

"Ah pointed out the illegality of her entry, though given that she had been provided with a key I have doubts as to whether that would stand up in court…"

All eyes turned to Chris who let out a sigh and immediately apologised for his actions.

"Sorry guys. Nettie came to me and told me that she was worried about you" he nodded to Vin "looking after Ez by yourself and offered to pop round and see if she could help. Asked for the key so that she didn't disturb anyone by knocking. I didn't see any harm in it…it was Nettie." Chris's last comment reflected the sadness they all felt at being betrayed by one of their own.

"We understand Chris. You were not to know that her motives may have been less than pure. In fact she may have been telling the truth at that point. It was her words and actions after she found us together that caused the grief and you were not responsible for that."

"Thanks Ez. Gotta say that I couldn't see myself being so forgiving if it were my home that was violated." Chris knew that despite Ezra's forgiveness he would not forgive himself so easily but he had to laugh at the response.

" I cannot afford to waste any of my anger on you Mr Larabee. Not when I am saving it all for that sanctimonious, close minded, mangy old crone."

"You will remember that she's a seventy year old woman won't ya Ez, and not one of your gun running marks?" Buck's voice was light but like the rest of them Ezra could be ruthless when one of the others had been hurt and he hoped that his gentle reminder would stop the man from doing anything too hasty.

"Oh don't worry Mr Wilmington, I wouldn't dream of laying a hand on the old….woman" he swallowed his intended insult at a cautioning mini glare from Chris, though he had a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "I plan to do something that will cause her far worse pain than any physical assault or even legal retribution." At the expectant and slightly nervous glances he offered up a punishment that was far worse than anything they could have come up with and one that would almost certainly guarantee her future silence on the matter.

"Ah'm going to tell mah Mother on her."

The other three men winced at the thought of letting loose the fifth horse-person of the apocalypse. To face Maude when she was being nice was scary enough but to even contemplate what that sharp tongue would do to anyone who upset her 'darlin' boy' was enough to give a person the shivers.

"Does Maude know?" Chris waved a hand between the two men indicating their relationship.

"Yep" answered Vin with a smug grin. "Think she likes me. Even made me lunch." His grin vanished as Buck laughed and pointed out a fact that Vin hadn't yet considered.

"You do realise that this in effect makes Maude your Mother-in-Law…only without the actual law bit."

"Hell!"

Ezra separated his hand from Vin's grip and slapped him lightly on the arm.

"You do realise that that is mah Mother you are insultin'?"

"And?" replied Vin with a smile

"Point taken."

Chris shook his head at the interaction. In one way their behaviour didn't seem any different yet there was now an undercurrent of, while not quite contentment, at least of harmony. But as much as he approved of his friends finding happiness, God knew they both deserved it, there were issues that still had to be dealt with.

"Guys, we need to decide what to do next. Do you want to keep this quiet? Just tell the rest of the team? Or go public? And you have to know that if you go public just because discrimination is illegal don't mean to say it doesn't happen. Plus Judge Travis might be forced to separate you under the rule of spouses not working on the same team…even though you aren't married legally. Me and Buck'll support you whatever you decide, you know that."

"Damn right!" added Buck emphatically, marvelling as Vin and Ezra did the silent communication thing that he had thought only existed between Vin and Chris.

"I think that for now at least we would like this information kept within the team. It would not be right to exclude them when ya'all know the status of our relationship but unless Nettie forces our hand we would rather not be separated. I for one would not be comfortable working on another team and would be forced to tend my resignation."

"Me too" added Vin, in complete agreement with his partner. "Same goes if'n any of the other guys can't handle us as a couple. Won't kick up a fuss but won't stay where one of us ain't wanted either."

Both Buck and Chris nodded with sombre expressions. They were more than a team they were a family and families stick together. It was almost certain that the two men would have the total support of the other three…almost. And if not then they wouldn't be a team any more because Chris and Buck would join the walkout.

Chris picked up the phone and punched in Gloria Potter's extension. He arranged for her to watch over the babies and for the other team members to be sent in.

M7M7M7M7M7M7M7

Josiah, JD and Nathan sat in stunned silence at the revelations of their two team members. Their expressions not giving away their thoughts, which Chris, for one, found disconcerting.

Nathan was surprised. He was surprised that he was not, in fact, particularly surprised. If he were to think about it he had always assumed that Ezra was gay, but since the undercover agent hadn't wanted to call attention to his orientation he hadn't mentioned it. Vin was a bit more of a shock but the two of them together somehow seemed natural. Vin & Ez were already a double act in his mind; it didn't take much of a push to think of them as a couple. Nettie Wells was a different matter altogether. While he lived in a time that had seen the first elected black president prejudice was still a war that had to be won. And the fact that this particular prejudice was against someone's sexuality rather than the colour of their skin didn't matter to him. Prejudice was prejudice. And he hated it.

JD was shocked. That Nettie could be so cruel! He knew for a fact that Casey, Nettie's niece, who she had raised from childhood, didn't have a prejudiced bone in her body and he thanked God that Nettie's disgusting hatred hadn't tainted the girl he loved and hoped to marry. They both had gay friends and he knew that Vin and Ez's relationship wouldn't affect Casey's attitude to them. But he couldn't help but worry what Nettie might have to say about a member of the team dating her niece without joining her in her twisted opinion. No! He had faith in his relationship. Casey would no more be dictated to by prejudice than would Vin, Ezra or any of the others on the team. They were solid.

Josiah sighed softly as he contemplated events. His only thought about Ezra and Vin's revelations was 'At last!' He had been waiting for the pair of them to wake up to what they were feeling for each other for months now. He was getting to the stage where he was considering locking them in a closet until they saw sense. Of course with Vin's claustrophobia and Ezra's fear of imprisonment they would probably been too busy panicking to realise their true feelings. Miss Nettie now, was a different matter. Being the eldest of the team he could understand that the older generations had a perception of things that while normal for their own time was incompatible with today's more enlightened society. But whatever her personal views her treatment of those she supposedly considered friends, and in Vin's case family, was intolerable. He felt both disappointed in her failings and a little pity for her, knowing that she had lost something very precious in pandering to her hatred. It was a mistake he was not going to make with Ezra.

Vin and Ezra watched as expressions played across their team mates faces. They didn't dare concentrate too hard on deciphering them since it was all too close to home. Their friend's next comments could decide their futures on the team and neither man wanted to leave, but they would not abandon each other. Not after it had taken their entire lives to find this happiness.

"Well?" Chris's patience would only stretch so far, and that was not far at all. He wanted to know if he still had a team.

Ezra and Vin tensed as Josiah stood up and came around to stand between them. He put a large hand on each man's shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Congratulations boys. I'm pleased that you have both finally found the other half of your soul. I wish you all the best." With a pat to each man's arm he moved back to his seat, acknowledging their grateful comments with a smile.

"Guess Josiah said it for me too fellas. Congratulations" Nathan reached across and shook each of their hands in turn. He felt quite emotional at the looks of gratitude on their faces and diverted any potential outburst in the best way he knew how.

"We'll need to have a talk later….about safe sex." He didn't know which was more rewarding, the twin beet red blushes of the lovers or Buck choking on his chewing gum.

JD slapped Buck enthusiastically on the back as he gushed his congratulations, adding that he was sure of Casey's support too. At the looks of concern as the others realised his awkward position he reassured them of his loyalty to the team and that he'd work 'stuff' out with Casey.

"Well now that we've gotten the important stuff out of the way we need to know if we're agreed that this is best kept within the team for now. We don't want to risk the boys being cut from the herd." Chris was relieved to see a unanimous show of support.

"Figure it's no-one's business but ours" added Buck "But what if Nettie goes above your head?"

"Ezra?" Chris did as he always did when confronted with a strategy problem, he went to the expert.

"I would just reiterate the facts as Mrs Wells actually saw them. She came upon one team member unwilling to leave a sick partner alone and who happened to fall asleep while keeping him company. That I embraced Mr Tanner is easily, and truthfully explained by the medication and since Vin was fully clothed at the time I do not see that the woman has a leg to stand on."

Nathan wasn't normally comfortable with Ezra's manipulation of truth and lies but he was even less comfortable with prejudice and home invasion so he added his agreement to the idea.

"Well if that's all we'd better get back; we've left Gloria long enough with the kids." Chris winced. He couldn't believe that he'd said that.

"Hang on" called Buck as they all got up to leave, Ezra and Vin practically supporting each other after the adrenaline rush of the last hour. "There's an important piece of information that we're missing" he pointed out with a sparkle in his eye.

"And what is that Mr Wilmington?" Ezra thought they'd covered it all.

"Most important question of all of course….Who's bottom?"

"Mr Wilmington!"

"Buck!"

"What?" claimed the ladies man with mock innocence at the embarrassed cries of his friends. Support proved….it was now open season on teasing.

7M7M7MM7M7M7M7

Things quickly got back to some semblance of normal and while the occasional glance was sent Vin and Ezra's way in the hope of catching them making eyes at each other, and receiving mild glares for their trouble, they were soon buried in paperwork.

"Hey Buck" JD's voice wasn't much above a whisper. "I've got a reply from Bobby. I sent an email just before the Ezra thing kicked off. He says he can come to Denver tomorrow on his way through to Boulder on business. Who'd have thought he only lived one State over. He seems to think the baby's fixable but the tricky part will be reprogramming to cover the time lapse. Still if anyone can do it, Bobby can….for a price."

"Ouch!"

"Yeah, best get ready to smash your piggy bank Buck."

"What do you mean 'my piggy bank' you were the one that broke him!"

"Well yeah, but you were the one that led me on."

"I did no…."

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Josiah looked across at Chris who was clutching a piece of paper in a death grip. He smiled at Nathan.

"I think he got the memo."

Chris snatched up the phone and dialled Travis's office direct. Hadn't he suffered enough? Hadn't his men given more than their fair share to the citizens of this city? This was….this was a step too far. Who the hell's bright idea was it to organise for all of them, babies in tow, to give a talk to the Denver Women and Children's Circle

Whoever it was was dead.

People would finally find out whether his glare could kill. And if it couldn't, well he had a gun.

And if he couldn't find anybody else to shoot he could always put himself out of his misery.

TBC

A/N Hope that wasn't too long for you. Just a word about the Denver Women and Children's Circle. As far as I am aware I have made it up. If there is a real society with that name then it is purely coincidental. (But I bet they wouldn't mind a visit from the 7 :D )


	11. Chapter 11

**ROCK A BYE BABY Chapter 11**

Disclaimer: If I owned the horse they rode in on I wouldn't have anywhere to put it so I suppose it's fortunate that I don't own the boys or their creators.

A/N Shorter than normal I know but apart from time constraints this just seemed to want to come out mainly as a two scene chapter and the final length for it seemed natural. Next chapter will undoubtedly be longer. The idea for Bobby's price was triggered by a reader who said that she didn't want the cost to be monetary - hope this works for you. Oh and hope the romantic scene isn't too sickly sweet but I just can't do …y'know….tab A into slot B stuff :D

***********************

The afternoon had gone reasonably well, considering. Unless, of course, one was to define 'well' by the amount of actual work accomplished, in which case it was an entirely different matter.

Chris had spent most of the rest of the day closeted in his office, muttering to himself after a meeting with Travis hadn't produced the desired result. His threat to shoot whoever had staged this torturous spectacle remained unvoiced when Travis proudly revealed that the 'marvellous public relations opportunity' had been Evie's idea. Even Chris wasn't stupid enough to threaten his bosses wife - besides she was a nice lady, and after the letdown he felt at Nettie's betrayal he held 'nice' as a worthy benchmark as far as loyalty was concerned. So, with the silent acknowledgement to himself that life was unfair, especially to blond ATF team leaders, excluding that full of himself gung-ho idiot that led Team 8, Chris shut himself away and muttered. And if a few requisitions for new office items had to be filled out next day it was the least that the ATF owed him. The rapid and violent slaughter of his computer mouse had been particularly therapeutic.

In the main office Vin and Ezra endured endless teasing, questions and congratulations from their friends…and a no holds barred 'talk' from Nathan which would have come across as a lot more professional if he hadn't of kept grinning and chuckling at their squirming and embarrassed blushes.

At the end of shift Buck and JD arrived home, Buck having been dissuaded from dragging Ezra and Vin out on a bar crawl to celebrate, to find a stranger on their doorstep. A stranger with an unruly mop of vivid ginger red hair, thick black rimmed glasses, wearing a suit that was the height of fashion…in 1975. Buck thought that he could be the poster boy for geeks worldwide and half expected the declaration of his status to appear in sickly green neon above his head. It could be none other than Bobby Pickles.

"Hey, Bobby, good to see you man." JD pumped the proffered hand enthusiastically; a greeting that was returned with equal fervour.

Robo-geek meets cyber-geek thought Buck with amusement. He had to admit that Ezra had been right that time when he had said that appearances could be deceptive. This guy certainly didn't look like a robotics genius; he looked more like the one of the rugrats from that cartoon that JD liked so much. But then to most people JD didn't look like a computer genius. Buck just hoped that the guy knew his stuff because he didn't want to have to confess their unfortunate little accident to Chris; he didn't think that the man could take much more in the way of shocks. "Bobby" JD nodded at Buck as he fished the door key out of his pocket "this is my ATF partner and roomie, Buck Wilmington.

"MR Wilmington" acknowledged Bobby as he instigated another handshake, "or may I call you Buck?"

Buck noted that while the greeting was just as effusive as the one he had bestowed on JD there was a shrewd and calculating look in the man's eyes. It wasn't the sort of look that got his danger signals flying, more the tingle of anticipation when Ezra was scheming.

"Sure can, nice to meet ya, reckon you're a lifesaver." Buck pushed aside his feelings and welcomed the man. No use borrowing trouble.

"Well it's certainly the oddest request I've had in a while. Of course there was the time that JD here wanted me to hook his computer up to a blo…"

"Come on in Bobby, don't just stand there!" JD grabbed his college friend by the shirt and practically hauled him over the threshold, a look of panic in his eyes. Despite Buck's rabid curiosity Bobby's first sight of the apartment did what it did to most people and rendered him speechless. By the time he had pulled his gaze away from the large portrait of a naked woman above the fireplace to the two juke boxes up against the far wall which was papered with a Hawaii style beach scene JD had taken his jacket, propelled him to an overstuffed armchair and plonked a baby in his arms.

Bobby's robot obsessed mind immediately kicked into gear. "Oh very nice! Very nice indeed." He turned the stiff and lifeless doll over and sought out the numbers stamped discreetly at the base of the neck. "Ah, a 224B…top of the range."

"Then you're familiar with them? You can fix him?" JD's voice held a desperate hope. For some reason once he had broken the dummy it had stopped being that to him and had become a real thing; not that he saw Junior as a baby but he was definitely more than a doll and the thought of having broken it kept translating in his head as killed. He admitted to himself, though never to Buck, that he wouldn't sleep well until the damage he had done was put right. He let out a too long held breath as, with a grin, Bobby replied,

"Familiar with it? Heck guys I helped to design it…well the prototype for it anyway. And it looks like they haven't strayed too far from my original specs" he added with a touch of professional pride.

"Then you can fix it?" Buck repeated JD's question and if Bobby detected the hint of urgency in the tone then he didn't comment but his reply would indicate that the normally laid back ladies man had been less than subtle.

"Oh I can fix him in a jiffy…for a price."

"Um…Bobby, you do realise that Government employees aren't the most generously paid people in the world don't you?"

Bobby didn't attempt to disguise his surprise at the room mates expectation. It seldom occurred to him to think in monetary terms; of course being a millionaire he didn't have to.

"Oh I don't want money!"

Buck and JD exchanged puzzled glances.

"Umm, we have no influence over parking tickets y'know" Buck was confused, it was a state he was getting used to.

"Then what exactly do you want Bobby?" JD knew that Bobby didn't have the same sort of thought processes as most people, which was sometimes a really fun thing…and sometimes…sometimes the joke was on him. But he never expected the reply he got.

"I want Buck's head."

M7M7M7M7M7M7M7

Ezra was nervous. He and Vin were finally alone…Just Vin, himself…and three squalling infants. Not that he minded. In fact he had been tempted to give one of them a prod because they were being too quiet…. Changing and feeding babies took a long time, even with the two of them to do the honours. And time, at the moment, was Ezra Standish's enemy. He had hoped that the addition of Alice to their infant ranks for the evening, Chris having finally earned their pity for his lousy day and awarded the night off, would keep them both occupied…together…yet separately.

Ezra mentally cursed himself for his cowardice as he sat himself, demurely, on the couch beside an amused, and far too relaxed, Vin. He knew that he was being silly; he was acting like a girl on her first proper date…oh the humiliation! Mother would be appalled. You would think after watching her ply her romantic arts on several step-fathers that getting up close and personal with the man you love beyond all reason would be as natural as breathing…not that the act of taking in and expelling air was feeling very natural at the moment he admitted to himself.

Vin was enchanted…and nervous as all hell. It was adorable that the normally sophisticated and socially adept man who had stolen his heart, a heart that he had thought no-one would ever want to hold, was acting like a blushing teenager. Yet he also realised that the privately insecure southern gentleman would run a mile and never look back if he felt that he was being judged, or even worse, laughed at. Vin reasoned that he would have to go slow. Quick kisses in the conference room was one thing but this was the real deal and he wanted this man beside him for the rest of their lives so scaring him off by being too eager was not an option. Then again there was a fine line between pushing too hard and giving the impression that you didn't care and Ezra was the type that would see the glass as half empty instead of half full, so….

Ezra tensed. He could swear that Vin had moved closer while his thoughts had drifted. But that was just what he wanted…so why was his heart doing a samba? It was obvious by the way his beloved was looking at him…rather like he had suddenly been transformed into a large peach pie…that his thoughts were along the same romantic lines, but what if he were disappointed? Some pies looked very tasty but were a bland disappointment when sampled, and he was a pie with very little experience…and damn, why did he keep thinking about food? It wasn't as though he were hungry…for food.

Encouraged by the fact that Ezra was still in the building Vin moved further until only a couple of inches were left between them. He gazed longingly into the haunting jade eyes, now darkened with desire and placed a tentative hand on the southerner's knee.

"Ez…"

"Cookies!" Ezra leapt to his feet like a startled rabbit. "I…I made cookies."

Vin sighed as Ezra dashed toward the kitchen. This could take longer than he'd thought. He smiled; it could take as long as it needed. He was a patient man and Ezra was worth the wait.

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"His head!" JD squeaked, looking at his old college friend with trepidation. You heard all the time about people…usually the quiet nerdy types…who became serial killers and kept trophies in their basements. Bobby seemed the type, suddenly, to possess a basement.

"What he said" added a bemused Buck just before a disturbing thought hit him. "Although…you are talking about the head on my shoulders because if it's my…."

"NO!" Bobby paled at the implication. He sighed; robots were so much easier to communicate with. Humans had the annoying habit of thinking for themselves. But what Buck was thinking! "Sorry, I didn't make myself clear" Bobby's contrition relieved Buck's…and 'little Buck's' worries but JD's jury was still out on the serial killer option until Bobby clarified his aims.

"I design robots for many different applications, from surgical 'hands' to movie monsters. While some are purely functional others sell better with a 'personality'. The look is part of the package and I have a contract for a mechanical head to meet and greet attendees at a prestigious medical conference, and give a little lecture about the use of robotics in their profession. As soon as I saw you Buck I knew that I had found my design's human look. So what do you say Buck…do you fancy being immortalized?"

JD groaned at the light of enthusiasm that filled his room mate's blue eyes. They would never hear the end of this one!

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Vin sat with a cookie…double chocolate chip…his third…in his hand as he seductively nibbled gently around the edge, pausing to savour every chip that landed on his tongue. It was one of the toughest missions he had ever had since part of him wanted to devour the whole plate of home made delights because they were just so damn good…while the other part of him, the one that didn't include his stomach, wanted to throw the plate across the room…throw the chef down on the couch and devour something far sweeter than chocolate. But he stuck to his plan, and it looked like it might be working because it certainly wasn't his table manners that had Ezra's eyes fixated on his mouth…those self same normally pale jade orbs now almost black with what he hoped was desire were busy doing a little visual devouring of their own.

Vin slowly finished the cookie and took a sip of the imported beer that he had to admit wasn't too bad at all. He reached out a hand toward his Ezra and shook his head in the negative as Ezra moved to hand him another cookie. He smiled reassuringly as Ezra gulped audibly and put the plate down on the coffee table.

"T…The babies…" Another shake of the head stopped Ezra in mid sentence.

"They're fine."

"Cooki…"

"I'm fine."

Ezra pointed to the beer.

"Another…"

"It's fine."

Vin captured the indicating hand and kissed the smooth palm.

"We're fine Ezra, and we don't have to do anything that you're uncomfortable with. We don't have to do anything at all…I love ya Ez. I can wait till you're ready….a'course if'n you keep force feeding me cookies I might get so fat that you don't want me anymore."

Ezra finally relaxed under the ministrations of Vin's thumb caressing his palm and the lack of pressure. "Mah love, I would still want you if you were as big as a house - though Ah don't think that there are enough cookies in all the world to fill out that scrawny frame."

Vin gave him a look of mock outrage.

"Who you calling scrawny short stuff!? A man could think that you don't find him incredibly attractive and sexy."

Ezra dared to place his hand on Vin's chest, just over his heart.

"Oh but I do find you incredibly sexy…and I like scrawny…it has a distinct aesthetic beauty that cannot be rivalled by mere bulk."

"Do tell" Vin murmured as he lost himself in the darkened green pools, and Ezra wondered just when he stopped caring that there was now no space between them at all and, saw it, in fact, as a very good idea.

"Indeed" he whispered as Vin's lips, still dotted with sugar crystals that made them sparkle, came inexorably closer.

And, for once, as though by some mystical mutual consent, all three babies remained quiet and slept peacefully in their cribs.

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JD watched with a mixture of exasperation and fascination as Buck and Bobby 'bonded' over pizza and Elvis. He waited until after they had heard junior's cry return at full force and Bobby had left with a cheery wave, informing that the contract would be in the mail before he stuck the pin of realism into Buck's hot air balloon - emphasis on the hot air, JD grumbled to himself. He was not jealous that Bobby thought Buck's head better than his…he really wasn't. He just seemed to have mislaid his good mood that was all. He soon found it again though as a fact occurred to him.

"Hey Buck"

"Yeah kid?" Buck beamed whilst examining his…seemingly very profitable…features in the hall mirror.

"You do know that the casting process for the latex mould is gonna take ages don't you?"

"That's okay kid…perfection can't be rushed" he turned his head to view his profile and missed JD's wince.

"And you do know that they have to put straws up your nose so that you can breathe don't you?" In truth JD didn't have much of an idea how these things were done but he'd seen a programme when he was younger about Madame Tussaud's wax museum.

Buck paused at that but soon regained his equilibrium and changed profile - looking good whichever way, he thought with an expression that one would never dare to call smug. An expression that quickly dropped away to be replaced by one of horror as JD added nonchalantly.

"Oh, and they'll have to shave off your moustache of course."

TBC

A/N Hope that amused a little. Poor Buck :D


	12. Chapter 12

ROCK - A - BYE BABY Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The gold tooth fairy still hasn't left Ezra under my pillow so I guess I still don't own anything.

A/N Abject apologies. For those who are unaware my research project had to take priority but it's out of my hair now and I'm busy playing catch up. Hope you enjoy. Oh and a little warning - some bad words of a homophobic nature ahead - quite a chunk of this is dealing with Nettie.

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Nettie Wells sat at her well worn kitchen table holding tight to her cup of rapidly cooling coffee. The surface of the liquid shimmered as her hands shook with the after effects of the past few hours…no, make that the past couple of days, she thought sadly. How on earth had she become so out of touch with those she had, until now, confidently called family and friends. Her hands trembled slightly harder and her eyes narrowed but this time with anger as she realised the track her thoughts were taking.

NO!

She would not be made to feel responsible for upsetting Team 7 or her niece. Her principles had been the accepted way since the days of Adam and Eve. It was that perverted little sissy boy that had caused them all pain. That had turned her friends against her! After all what kind of man sends his mother to fight his battles?!

'A man who had already tried reasoning with you, and when that failed, resorted to begging you not to alienate Vin just because of his choice of partner. A man who had pled his case with charm, sincerity, humility and, in the end, tears and who you had sent away with harsh words and cold looks yet who even then had kept his offer of friendship open'

Nettie almost squirmed at the thought that the heathen sinner had displayed a far more Christian attitude than she herself had managed. But it wasn't Ezra's visit the day before, and the morning after Casey had given her own ultimatum that she either shape up or find that her own flesh and blood had shipped out, that had her shaking with indignation, anger and more than a little hint of fear. That honour had been reserved for the twin pronged attacks of Evie Travis and Maude Standish…or whatever she was calling herself these days.

Evie had come to her first. Nettie had known Evie for over twenty years. They had served on charity committees together; they attended the same church and their husbands had been fishing buddies. They were friends.

Were friends…but seemingly no longer. Oh Evie hadn't cut her ties altogether. Much like Standish himself she had left a door open but with the proviso that Ezra be accepted and supported. Nettie shook her head sadly as she remembered the way the warmth had faded from the slightly younger woman's blue eyes as she listened to the reasons why nobody should accept Standish's lifestyle or suffer his attentions toward Vin who was obviously caught in some kind of web of lust spun by the conman.

"Nettie Wells! I haven't heard such complete and utter drivel since I don't know when! If you honestly think that Vin Tanner could be so easily conned then you are doing him as great a disservice as Ezra. And as for your antediluvian attitude to sexuality…well I expected better of you. While you are judging Ezra on his sexual orientation perhaps you might like to pause and consider just where Vin, Chris and the others would be without him because he's saved all their lives at some point or other since joining the team and often at a high cost to himself."

Looking back Nettie realised that she should have just let Evie have her say and obeyed that time old and wise piece of advice, 'if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all' but unfortunately she had not only said something to bolster her argument she had said entirely the wrong thing.

"I can understand how you would feel lonely without Stephen but do you honestly think that such a fine and upstanding man, and outstanding agent such as your son would approve of your endorsement of such a shady and morally reprehensible person as Ezra Standish, a character who is the embodiment of everything that your son despised."

Nettie had known that in that moment with those ill thought out words she had dealt a killing blow to her friendship with the other woman but just in case there was any doubt Evie had made it abundantly clear that Stephen would have seen the brave man behind the mask unlike some people she could mention and that she saw the same noble principles in the southerner as she had been so proud of in her own son and that they were both cut from the same cloth…to insult one was to insult the other too as far as she was concerned. And she would not remain in a place where her friends or her son's memory were disrespected and maligned.

Nettie reflected that as Evie had left she had felt as though that had been the most traumatic confrontation she would ever have. But she had been wrong.

Nettie could feel Maude Standish's contempt as soon as she stepped over the threshold. It was as though a third physical presence had joined them. Yet where one would expect to see a sneer or grimace marring the beautiful perfectly made-up woman's features there was nothing but a seemingly polite indifference. However Maude was far from indifferent as Nettie soon found out.

Maude sat at the kitchen table - Nettie would be damned if she would allow a degenerate con artist like that in her front parlour - and ran a caustic eye over the much loved and lived in heart of the house. Nettie went against all the manners she had been raised to show and didn't offer her any refreshments. She sat down opposite the designer attired woman and waited expectantly for the tirade to begin. After all, despite being as sly and aloof as a cat she was still the boy's mother. Nettie couldn't help but think that having a useless faggot for a son was a just and suitable punishment for a serial bride…probably even a bigamist, it wouldn't surprise her in the slightest. It gave Nettie a bitter sense of satisfaction that she would never be able to marry her son off to some poor mousy heiress for her fortune. 'Hell!' she thought, 'That's probably why he turned queer in the first place!' Anger returned as she mused that however he chose to lead his misbegotten and sordid life he had no right to take her Vin away from her and any future wife and children he might have had. No amount of ranting - or begging - from this female viper would get her to see her son for anything other than the lying, conniving corruptor of innocents that he obviously was; even if it only seemed to be obvious to her.

Maude waited patiently as Nettie gathered her thoughts. 'And what thoughts they must be' Maude thought idly as she watched emotion, after bitter emotion, cross the haggard and lined face. Features that had probably recently come across as lined with the wisdom of life's experiences and the triumph of surviving the bad and embracing the good now looked merely sad and old with the taint of disappointment and anger. She almost felt pity for the other woman as those lines of honour and caring were replaced with those of hatred and prejudice. But pity was not in her repertoire - not today. Maude loathed prejudice. Greed lust and revenge she could understand but blind prejudice was, to her, a waste of time and emotion. A person was what they made of themselves not the unalterable dictate of their DNA, be that their colour or their sexual orientation. Anyone that couldn't, or that refused, to see the difference was, to her mind, an imbecile. So she waited patiently for the imbecile currently sitting opposite her to marshal her twisted and erroneous thoughts. She had all the time in the world for her darlin' boy….well as long as it didn't interfere with luncheon; she had booked a table at Fabiano's for 12 and they had a three week waiting list!

"I won't change my opinion" Nettie stated firmly. A firmness more displayed than actually felt since the coldness in that infuriatingly ever present smile on the southern woman's face could freeze her kitchen range to solid ice.

"And what opinion is that may Ah enquire?" Maude asked softly.

Nettie fought the urge to fidget in her chair. Somehow the softer the accented voice got the more nervous she became. She had always felt the same in the presence of the son so it was now obvious where he got that particular trait from. She took a deep breath and summoned up all the righteous certainty and anger she could muster and spoke out strongly, locking gazes with the seemingly emotionless Maude.

"That your son is no good! He's no good for my boy. He's a corrupting influence and shouldn't be allowed to mix with normal people, especially young people like Vin, JD and nine year old little Billy Travis." Her voice had become more strident in her agitation and her accusations were more direct and darker than she had planned but that was what perverts like him were and there was no point in pussyfooting about. Call a spade a spade was her motto! Her self justification faded however as she saw that the southern woman's expression hadn't changed. Nettie had expected horror or anger; embarrassment or humiliation, or possibly a mixture of all of them. What she hadn't expected was a slight hint of boredom. It left the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

Maude didn't answer immediately. Not that she needed time to compose a reply but silence was often as good a weapon as words. She extracted her compact from her Prada purse and calmly proceeded to check her make-up. She noted Nettie's nervous twitch as she watched the process.

Nettie wished that the damn woman would say or do something …anything. And then she did and Nettie wished that she hadn't.

The voice was still soft but the normally warm honeyed tones were as cold as the arctic if not colder and the malice was unmistakable.

"Vin is NOT 'your boy'! He is also not some weak willed child ready to fall prey to a supposedly more experienced man… In fact knowing mah son I have no doubt that he would not have been the one to instigate the relationship." She didn't think it necessary to comment on the fact that it was her own distrust of relationships which she had instilled into her son from an early age that made him unable to offer his heart. She put her self flagellation aside as she continued to educate her victim.

"Ah will ignore your less than subtle insinuation over Billy Travis and your obvious ignorance of the difference between the meanings of the words homosexual and paedophile because if I dwell upon that heinous insult I will be forced to resort to physical violence…" Maude's eyes glittered as she coolly brushed imaginary lint from her Chanel jacket… "and blood stains quite terribly don't you find?"

Nettie blanched at the implied and no doubt sincere threat. In truth she had let her mouth run away from her but what could she be expected to think of men who lay with other men. At that thought her ire began to grow again but it was utterly extinguished by Maude's next words. Words that had the verbal effect of a gun pointed at her heart.

"Ah do not need to use violence to destroy you Mrs Wells" said Maude in a matter of fact tone as she withdrew a small electronic device from her bag and tapped it a few times. Nettie frowned and then slowly her expression changed to one of horror as Maude listed a stream of personal details covering every aspect of her life from her children's places of residence, occupations and financial situations to her own mortgage details - accompanied by an innocently dropped hint that the bank's president was known to her 'intimately' - her savings and pension details and even her medical records were rattled off quite matter of factly. Nettie suddenly realised that this was what Maude Standish did. This was her business - destroying people; depriving them of what they valued most and although that was usually money it didn't have to be.

Maude saw the realization hit and was sure that she had made herself clear…but better safe than sorry.

"Ah can take it all Mrs Wells. Your security; your home; your reputation and your children's reputations. Ah can do it with the click of a mouse or the stroke of a pen and Ah will never be caught. Ah guarantee it.

Nettie shivered; she believed her. And she had thought Ezra was shady. He was a positive paragon of virtue in comparison to the witch who had raised him. The first flush of doubt at her actions flooded through her but she hardened herself to the guilty emotion. It was probably exactly what SHE wanted, but she wouldn't win, the moral high ground was still hers and no amount of threatening would take that away.

As if she had read her thoughts Maude added. "These are not idle threats madam. You hurt mah son or his partner and you will find yourself a guest at Mr Sanchez's Mission for the destitute…if he will have you that is. He is a just and moral man after all."

Nettie blushed crimson at the insult to her moral standing and found herself scrambling after the younger woman as she made to leave.

Just as she was about to order the woman never to darken her doorstep again Maude had turned to her and, almost wistfully, made a final comment that for all it's lack of threat or malice made Nettie more afraid than anything she had yet heard.

"You have it all Nettie Wells. A family who loves you where so many elderly people are left alone in their old age. You have the respect of your community and a feeling of being wanted and needed. You also have the friendship of seven men who would lay down their lives for you, my son included. Is it worth losing all of that because you cannot see past your own prejudices? Ah can take away your possessions and your reputation as I have said but only you can drive away those who love you. Are you really that stupid Mrs Wells?"

Nettie saw a glimpse of the lonely future that awaited her in the other woman's eyes. She had the distinct impression that she was meant to see it. She had no words of reply as Maude left because she knew that she couldn't change and it left a cold knot of fear in her stomach.

_____________________

Nettie's coffee now sat cold in her cup as she recalled her visitors comments. She could see their arguments but why couldn't they see hers? When had she become the monster in all of this and why did the house suddenly seem so cold and empty? What on earth could she do to fix this? She feared that it was too late.

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"Ah just wondered…that is Ah thought that maybe, if they all would want to…which Ah suppose they probably wouldn't since there is no precedent…no, just forget the idea…yes, that's best Ah think."

Vin stared across the line separating his and his lover's…and how wonderful it still was to think that thought, lover, after nearly a week as a fully fledged couple… and his own desk, where the undercover agent seemed to be conducting an important conversation…with himself. Vin tuned his thoughts to Ezra's muttered ramblings and his gaze to the slightly confused and nervous figure before him. God he looked adorable when he was dithering! And if he was dithering, and of that there was no doubt since Vin could see plainly that the southerner wasn't even aware that he had been conversing with himself out loud, then it had to be over some social situation. Where business was concerned there was none as efficient, level headed or as dedicated as Ezra P Standish but if the issue was one of a personal nature then he had the tendency to turn into a bit of a gibbering idiot - albeit an endearing one. As he watched elegant fingers twist a random unimportant document….Vin caught a glimpse of the signed and endorsed expenses claim form, okay then perhaps not so unimportant a document… into a shape which suspiciously resembled a pretzel he decided that perhaps the time had come to intervene.

"Ez?" He waited for his love to acknowledge him but a nibbling at a full lower lip which had him wriggling in his seat told him that he hadn't been heard. For a man who was always alert to danger he could be incredibly dense at times. Vin sighed; this was obviously something very important and therefore fraught with potential disaster. He tried again.

"Ezra….Ez…..Ezra P your mother just walked in the door." It was cruel but Vin figured that it was justified.

"What! Where, why?" Ezra snapped out of the contemplation of his dilemma and shot to his feet. He stared in horror at the twisted paper in his hands…Oh God! A tell! He dropped the paper and kicked it under the desk while his head attempted to turn 360 degrees in it's search for the danger, or rather, his mother. It was some seconds, seconds filled with total panic, before the quiet giggling penetrated the fog in his brain and he cast a scathing glance over at the so-called love of his life. He noted that said holder of his heart did not so much as waver under his steely glare. Now he knew how Larabee felt when they shrugged off his death glare.

"Why?" he asked petulantly as he waved the others who had looked up from their workstations at his sudden movement back to their tasks.

"You was panicking" Vin supplied helpfully with a hint of concern but also with a devilish twinkle in his eye as his partner gracefully re-took his seat and toed the hastily discarded piece of paper back out from under the desk. He made a great show of uncrumpling it to avoid looking his too perceptive lover in the eye but Vin was not to be deterred.

"So? You want to tell me what had your Calvins in a twist?"

"No."

"Ezra."

Ezra sighed. Since when had he become so easily persuaded? 'Since you finally found someone who truly cares' a little voice purred in his mind and then added, with a mental image that made him squirm… 'and since he showed you just what he could do with that talented Texan mouth besides talk' Just the thought of where his mental wanderings were taking him brought the flustered southerner back to the issue at hand and he gave in, knowing how trivial his dilemma would be to most but also how dangerous a minefield it was for his severely underdeveloped social skills.

"I was just in the process of contemplating the possibility of maybe" he stole a glance around to make sure that they weren't being overheard which made Vin smile; the more paranoid Ezra got the more trivial the matter in hand. He was all ears as Ezra finally got to the point.

"I have been on the team for some time now and I wondered if our comrades would be amenable to attending a small gathering at my abode for dinner one night….it is not something I have dared contemplate until now." Ezra finished on an uncertain note and looked to his lover for reassurance that he was not being too presumptuous.

Vin was stunned, though he was careful not to show it. He had been wrong, this was indeed a momentous occasion. Ezra didn't mix easily and it had taken them all some time to get him to attend the regular gatherings at the Saloon and at Chris's ranch. None of them judged him harshly for his reticence, especially after meeting Maude and knowing how badly he was treated when with the FBI. They had never pressed him to reciprocate and never really expected him to. And he was wondering if they would want to go to his dinner party! Wild horses wouldn't keep them away! In fact given the chance and the ability to talk their horses would probably demand to join them!

Instead of allowing his shock to show he smiled gently and scooped up the trembling, manicured hand moving restlessly and worrying at the poor almost unrecognizable expense form.

"They will jump at the chance" Vin reassured him, but he knew Ezra and waited for the first worry to manifest itself.

"Ah was thinking of cooking some traditional southern cuisine but perhaps Josiah would feel slighted, after all he often brings a pot of his chilli with him, and there seems to be quite the fondness for take-out pizza; I know that JD loves pizza above all other foodstuffs. Of course when we are at Chris's place Buck fires up the barbeque. Ah would be interfering with all of these traditions wouldn't I?"

Vin bit his lip to stifle a laugh. He was aware that his partner was sensitive of others feelings but clueless about what did and did not offend them.

"Sweetheart" Vin noticed the warm flush and shy smile that came to his lover's features at the endearment and vowed to use it more often. "The only reason that we have take-out is that nobody can so much as boil an egg except Josiah - why do you think we only have two ways of cooking the steaks, blood raw or total incineration, and the reason that Josiah always brings chilli is because the only thing he can cook is….."

"Chilli." Ezra finished with a grin that displayed his gold tooth.

"Exactly. Now let's go ask them if they actually want a decent meal that they don't have to go to the Saloon to eat."

"OH!"

Vin knew it was too good to be true. "What else has that twisted genius brain of yours managed to come up with?"

Ezra stuck his tongue out childishly but snatched it back in with a gulp as he saw desire suddenly ignite in the sky blue eyes. The bullpen was hardly the place for those kind of thoughts! He quickly became concerned again though as his worry returned.

"I very rudely assumed something which I had no right to Vin. We are a couple yet I did not give you the opportunity to say whether you want us to host this gathering at your place or mine."

Vin wasn't stupid. Even if he had wanted to have everyone round to his place he could see how important it was to Ezra to be inviting them not only to eat with him but to share his space. He wouldn't dare upset that apple cart though he didn't have to because there were practical reasons why his place was a non starter. He explained the impracticality of fitting seven men into a living / dining room the size of a postage stamp and the chances of all their vehicles being intact at the end of the evening - Purgatorio was not known to be friendly to strangers.

"But nobody touches my car and it's not exactly an old jalopy" Ezra had always wondered why his vehicle left with all the parts it had arrived with.

"That's because folks know that you're mine."

"Yours" Ezra stated smugly as though the statement was his greatest personal achievement, making Vin blush. Vin ushered him off to issue his invitations before he could get all riled up again… or he had to drag him off to the nearest stationary cupboard.

As predicted the rest of the seven jumped at the chance of spending time with their most enigmatic member and Josiah professed himself delighted at the chance to not only not have to cook but to eat something that wasn't chilli. Buck almost made a joke about bringing along some pizza as back up but he wasn't quite as dense as Chris made him out to be and saw how nervous his friend was. He wondered just what sort of a life he must have had to be scared of being rejected over a simple meal.

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A simple meal Vin mused as he tried to find free space in the refrigerator for his very small bottle of OJ without success. Ezra had gone so far as to take the next day off so that he could cook. He'd already warned the others not to eat much so that they would have space for it all and it was a good job he had because a couple of them had been planning on eating before arriving just in case Ezra wasn't as good a cook as was claimed. Vin had soon put them straight and they would no doubt be grovelling for some time. Vin glanced at his watch, it was nearly time to head out to work, where was Ez?

Vin watched from the doorway entranced as Ezra sat in the rocking chair by the large bedroom window feeding Ethan. A nebulous ache settled in his stomach that soon this would all be over; just one week to go. He knew that Ezra would take it even harder than he would, the twins having made him wonder what it would have been like growing up as a sibling rather than alone and what Maude would have been like as a mother without the tragedy of losing a husband and child to make her unable to show the love he knew that she felt deep down.

He could hear a faint humming coming from the southerner and recognized it as a lullaby that his own mother had once sung to him. A single tear slipped down his cheek as he thought on what he had lost with her death and what he had now found with the help of these babies. He quickly brushed the tear away and the gesture attracted the attention of the love of his life who frowned in concern.

"It's okay Ez, just thinking on times past."

Ezra nodded, he understood. That was what the others didn't realise about them, that they may seem different but their similarities were more than their differences. They had both known loss and loneliness, hardship and prejudice…which reminded him, MacNally was proving to be more of an annoyance than he was willing to put up with. He had no proof that the hate emails and notes pushed through his locker were the work of that loathsome individual but the cat calls and offensive slurs yelled outside his home were. He had learned early on in life that bullies seldom stopped of their own volition and needed to be persuaded to cease their unwanted attentions and MacNally had reached that point.

"You ready to get to work Ez?" asked Vin as Ezra tucked Ethan into his carrier, the white blanket decorated with bluebirds looking quite magnificent if he did say so himself.

"Indeed Vin" he thought of MacNally and wondered if the man's health insurance was in order. "It's time to deal with the scum who clutter up our lives."

Vin smiled and wondered just why his Ez had an unholy gleam in his eyes.

TBC

Once again sorry for the delay and hope you enjoyed**.**


	13. Chapter 13

**ROCK A BYE BABY Chapter 13**

Disclaimer: nope, don't own.

Chapter thirteen in which Ezra gets physical (no not like that you degenerates!) and hosts a dinner party…but should he risk the best china with Buck at the event - it's a dilemma.

.

He was up to something! They all knew it, they just didn't know what IT was. Well if truth be told they knew it because Vin knew it but then nobody knew their sneaky southerner like Vin Tanner. Even before their friendship had escalated into something more Vin had always been able to read Ezra better than anyone…except Maude of course.

Vin snuck another quick peek at his Ezra; the man was definitely up to something. Not that he needed an excuse to ogle his lover, Ezra was undoubtedly the prettiest man he'd ever seen and he was so lucky that the southern gentleman wasn't a mind reader because 'pretty' was a description that would earn him a few choice but definitely unattractive words.

Ezra looked up from his monitor and smirked before re-focusing his attention on his report. Vin gulped. No, not a mind reader…hopefully!

One thing was for certain, even if Ezra could read minds he himself could not. He had disappointed the others by not being an all knowing, walking, talking Ezra oracle. All he knew for sure was that Ezra was excited and slightly nervous. He had something planned and it didn't involve any of the team. That meant that at some point he would be trying to sneak away from them. Not easy to do with twin babies to care for.

As if a light bulb had lit up inside his head Vin saw a way to discover, if not what Ezra was up to, then at least when he planned on being up to it. He sent a private internal email to Chris who replied a few minutes later.

'Gloria has the twins booked for 4pm. Good work. Now we need to find out what the hell he's playing at. We need to keep an eye on him.'

And so it went for the rest of the day. Ezra was unobtrusively tailed from place to place as he went about his business. He remained watched at all times especially in between reports and research and the all important baby activities which were made all the more fractious for Vin and Ezra because they both swore that their infants were teething. Which led to a lecture from JD on the limitations of simulacrum development and light hearted offerings of tried and tested cures and soothing remedies from an amused Nathan and Josiah. Neither Vin nor Ezra were amused though. Something was changing in their babies behaviour, they were sure of it. But babies were the last thing on most of the men's minds as they kept up their surveillance. They had to be subtle, it wouldn't do for Ezra to find out.

Ezra sighed as Buck followed him from the men's room. Honestly, it was just too much! Was nowhere sacred? Still, he supposed it was good practice for them and on the whole they were doing quite well considering that the only one with a true talent for sneaking and subterfuge was Vin. Buck's speciality was electronic surveillance. He wasn't built for shadowing and tailing someone in a building was an entirely different kettle of fish from tailing on a street. 'That reminds me' he thought 'I need to pick up some shrimp for the jambalaya tomorrow'

Ezra glanced at his watch and noted in passing that JD had taken over watcher duties. 3.45pm - nearly time for his meeting with MacNally. He had managed, with very little effort, to get the big oaf to 'call him out' and think that the whole thing was his own idea.

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After JD's innocent revelation that Ezra had collected the overnight bag he kept his change of clothes in Nathan drew Chris to one side, a look of deep concern on his face. In hushed tones he put his worries to his leader and Vin's best friends.

"Chris….you don't think it's possible that Ezra is seeing someone else do you? That he's chea…."

The medic got no further and his only warning was a raised Larabee eyebrow as he found himself spun round to meet a closed fist. All conversation stalled as JD, Buck and Chris waited for Nathan to get back to his feet and face a very angry sharpshooter.

Nathan rubbed his aching jaw as he levered himself upright. He received unexpected aid from the same hand that had landed him on his ass. He didn't hesitate to accept. If Vin had meant him any real harm he wouldn't have pulled the punch the way he did. He was far more hesitant in facing the man he had just hurt with his ill thought out words though.

"Vin I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm. I was just concerned about y…"

"Only thing you need to be concerned about Nate is how easy you find it to judge Ez. You should know him better than that by now, and if'n I hear one more word about him cheating you'll be drinking your own horse piss remedies through a straw…understood?"

Nathan was humbled by the total faith that Vin had in Ezra. He knew deep down that the Texan was right, and he did trust Ezra where it counted, out in the field; he had even grown to like the man and worried about him just as much, if not more than, he did the others. He also knew that for some reason he couldn't explain a part of him insisted on judging the black sheep of the team more harshly than the others. As much as he hated himself for it he always seemed to assume the worst where the undercover agent was concerned. He looked into the blue eyes that held as much hurt as they did anger. He realized that with Vin words weren't enough and apologies mattered less than action. He had seen the adoration in Ezra's eyes every time he looked at Vin this past week and vowed to do better. He owed it to his friends.

"Understood" was all he said and as Vin's slight smile and nod indicated his forgiveness the cold gleam that remained in his eyes indicated that the same attitude wouldn't be tolerated again.

As Vin ambled off to the coffee machine flanked by JD and Buck who had gifted the medic with twin glares of disappointment, Nathan cast a woebegone look at his leader and asked in a quiet voice

"Chris! Why didn't you warn me?"

"Because you deserved everything you got Nathan. You were out of order and an idiot. If there's one thing you can count on with Ezra it's his loyalty."

Nathan frowned. "But he ran out on us during our first bust together!"

Chris sighed inwardly. It had been HIS attitude toward Ezra that fateful day that had coloured the other's initial views towards their seventh, but although he had long since figured out Ezra's motivation it seemed that not everybody else had.

"He had been shown no loyalty in his time with the FBI. In fact their neglect nearly got him killed, so he was just doing what he'd learned to do to survive. He covered his back because he didn't think we would. The fact that he turned back and saved all our asses should tell you more about the man than that one slip up Nate. Or are you so perfect that you've never made a mistake?"

Nathan found himself unable to answer but that fact alone seemed to satisfy Chris who smiled and patted his shoulder before going over to brave the experience that was Vin's coffee. Nathan sighed - sometimes he wondered if the world was actually supposed to make any sense!

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"I lost him." Josiah shuffled his feet as he braved the massed glares. Well it was hardly his fault, he mused. He was hardly built for stealth and with half the building's office staff getting last minute errands run before quitting time he had just disappeared into the crowd.

"Well that's that then!" Buck dropped down into his chair with an audible thwump. He rested his chin on his hands as he stared at his own reflection in the blank monitor. It summed up the mood of the others. They had come so far!

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Heads shot up at JD's ouburst but he was on the move before anyone could ask a question. They waited with as much patience as they could muster as JD frenetically clicked his mouse until with a cry of triumph and a punch to the air he twirled to face them.

"Well!?" growled Chris but for once JD wasn't intimidated, he was too excited.

"He had his overnight bag!"

The general expression asked the question 'SO?' JD huffed and blew his black bangs out of his eyes.

"So" he replied with what Vin noted was practically an Ezraish smirk, "It's the bag he carries on assignments. The one that never leaves his side and therefore the one we put…"

"The tracking device in!" finished Buck with a whoop.

Suddenly re-energized the team gathered round JD's desk to peer at the result on the screen.

"And?" asked Josiah as he couldn't make head nor tail of the lines and flashing dot.

"And…." JD consulted a sidebar & then huffed in surprise. "Um, he's in the alley on the east side of this building!"

It didn't take long for the team to get to their team mate's last location, it wasn't as though anyone had the guts to stop and ask what they were doing or get in their way after all.

Ezra sighed in resignation. He always hated when an issue came down to physical violence, he much preferred to fight his battles with words; words were cleaner than blood and sweat and sharper than any knife; on top of which the wounds they inflicted lasted a lot longer than bruises or broken bones. The old saying that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you had obviously not been coined by an individual who had been the victim of ridicule. Yet with some people words couldn't either hurt or deter, for the simple reason that the person concerned was too stupid! "Hence my current position" Ezra muttered.

He had contemplated involving the rest of the team, or just Vin but if he got into trouble for this he did not want to drag them down with him. He also knew that they could be extremely over-protective. He wanted to teach this cretin a lesson not kill him! And if he were honest with himself he had to admit to a desire to prove to the others and the world at large that he could take care of himself. Of course the fact that they weren't there negated that possibility but it didn't alter the need. The others knew that he could talk a good game but he was hardly ever called upon to actually fight. He had back-up and at least one gun hidden about his person, what need had he of fists. But his life had been hard and so had it's lessons and he had been an apt pupil!

"You gonna stand there all day nancy boy? Or are you gonna put your fist where your mouth is?"

Ezra's eyebrows rose, he couldn't resist. "And why, Mister MacNally, would I want to suck mah thumb at this most inopportune of times?"

"Huh!?"

"Mister MacNally, Ah thought we came here to settle matters between us? Ah have gone to great lengths to arrange this meeting" he indicated his casual dress of jeans trainers and white wife beater , "Ah have even dressed for the occasion, now are you going to step up to the plate as they say or have Ah wasted mah time. My colleagues will wonder where I have disappeared to."

MacNally didn't answer. He just looked over Ezra's shoulder like a startled rabbit. Ezra hung his head in resignation. Only one thing could cause that look.

"Gentlemen." He greeted his team mates without turning round and wasn't surprised to find them surrounding him within seconds. MacNally's fear filled expression had vanished as he decided that the snivelling southerner was probably in more trouble from his so-called friends than from him. He leaned back against the wall to watch the fun.

"Ezra?"

"Mr Larabee?"

"Ez!"

"Vin."

Chris bit his lip to stop the smile that was threatening to form; they were beginning to sound like a twisted version of The Waltons. He tried again.

"Ezra, what are you doing? And why are you doing it with MacNally?"

"And why are you dressed like that?" added a curious Buck. Who would have thought that the Armani had hidden those muscles!

Vin had a fair idea what was going on and it would explain a few things like some unexplained bruises that their lovemaking hadn't caused. He blushed at the thought and ran a covertly lustful gaze over his rarely seen casual Ezra.

"Ah am afraid that Mister MacNally has been annoying me with some unwanted and unpleasantly rude attentions of late. Being as his IQ is far too low to appreciate any kind of verbal riposte I have had to resort to the not so noble art of fisticuffs."

MacNally was suddenly at attention as he watched the meaning of Ezra's words sink in….their seventh was being bullied! MacNally paled. He could take the little southern brat without even breaking into a sweat and would put money on himself to best most of the others except perhaps Josiah…who was looking like he had just insulted the virtue of his virgin daughter….and Larabee himself who he knew would just shoot him where he stood and so guarantee that he wouldn't ever have any virgin daughters of his own. He was screwed!

And then Standish stepped in and he relaxed again. Not only would he get to beat this rodent to a pulp but he would humiliate him in front of his friends.

"No Chris!" Chris looked down curiously at the small long fingered and exquisitely manicured hand that pressed into his chest. He quirked an eyebrow in question. How could such delicate hands beat that ugly mound of flesh that called itself an agent?

"Ah have to do this mahself otherwise I will lose all respect…and ah don't have much to lose" he added with a smile.

Chris looked deep into the clear pale jade eyes and saw what he was looking for. He exchanged a glance with Vin who nodded and then he indicated to the rest to back off. A glare stilled the inevitable protests.

"So that pansy little ass has an actual backbone attached to it does it?" MacNally sneered, his steps as he moved forward emulating the menace of a wild west gunslinger about to draw down. Ezra wasn't impressed.

"Mister MacNally, first you want to watch me suck on mah own digit and now you comment on the appearance of mah posterior…is there something you wish to tell me….?"

The men behind him sniggered as MacNally turned beet red and made inarticulate noises of protest. They stopped laughing as, with a roar, MacNally charged the smaller man and let fly with a roundhouse punch that found…..nothing!

MacNally screeched to a halt and turned to find Ezra standing behind him contemplating his manicure.

'If the little bastard thinks he can just dance his way out of trouble he can think again' was the last coherent thought that the Neanderthal agent would be able to construct for some time.

The rest of team seven watched with a mixture of awe and pride. Some of them felt an urge to buy popcorn as they watched the show and Vin felt a different kind of urge all together which he could do nothing about…yet!

"It's like that end scene from Lethal Weapon" JD pointed out as he watched Ezra's leg drop and swing round to cut his opponents legs from under him "All we're missing is the rain."

"Doubt whether Ez would have fought in the rain JD" replied Buck, wincing as the undercover agent's knee jacknifed up into MacNally's groin. Nathan noted with clinical interest that a man's eyes really did cross when his privates were mangled.

Josiah shuffled and bopped his head up and down in tandem with the rabbit punches that Ezra was applying to the man he was having to practically support in order to do it. MacNally was probably unaware by this time which way was actually up but Ezra was on a roll and nobody felt inclined to stop him.

"An explanation please gentlemen?"

The six suddenly felt how Ezra must have felt when they'd snuck up on him.

"Ahh, Judge…" Chris broke off to watch a particularly well applied strangle hold and backward flip that he thought might be judo. "Um, well…"

Travis took pity on his team leader. "Has MacNally been misbehaving again?"

"Was bullying Ez" Vin confirmed.

Orrin Travis's mouth formed a hard line. He hated bullies. He particularly hated bullying within his jurisdiction. The others settled as they realised that the Judge was on their side. Travis was impressed. It might not be Queensbury rules but it was a very effective fighting style. He wondered if he could get the southerner to teach a class.

It had only been minutes, though it may have seemed longer for the defeated agent; since he was unconscious it was impossible to know. Ezra stepped away from the collapsed heap and brushed down his hair which had resorted to it's natural curls. He didn't seem surprised to see Travis who had just gotten off the phone to MacNally's leader to come pick up his trash.

Ezra hadn't felt quite so exhilarated for some time - events with Vin excluded! And he bore the attentions of Nathan with equanimity. He noted that Nathan seemed surprised at his lack of injuries. To placate him he pointed out a small bruise and received an exasperated glare in return.

"Judge Travis. I trust that any punishment handed out for this contretemps will not impact on my fellow team members. I…"

Travis waved his hand "I didn't see anything Mr Standish. Just happened to be going in this general direction."

With Ezra's acknowledgement and the others thanks ringing in his ear Travis left wondering if he could get MacNally transferred somewhere a little more challenging….Alaska perhaps.

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Ezra was glad that he had taken the day off. Not so much for preparing for the evenings repast but to rest the innumerable muscles that hadn't been exercised so thoroughly in some time. He had been glad, also, to hear that none of MacNally's injuries were too severe. The broken ribs and dislocated elbow would heal in time though he would have to have a tetanus shot for the bite wound. Who would have thought the man would be stupid enough to bite himself! Still he had been upside down at the time so his orientation wouldn't have been up to par.

Ezra pulled out the tub of shrimp he had purchased the day before. He had spent most of the hours since dawn baking various pies and cakes and was now embarking on the savoury dishes. He hoped that Vin had been right when he had reassured him before he left for work that the others would enjoy a southern theme. He knew that Nathan often extolled the southern cuisine of his youth and that Buck would eat just about anything but just to make sure that there was enough choice for those unfamiliar with the regional delicacies that his grandmother and various aunts had taught him to prepare he had decided on a hot buffet style. The only problem there would be getting Vin to eat anything savoury before pigging out on the cakes and pies!

Vin watched as his lover changed clothes yet again. Not that he minded; watching Ezra undress was fast becoming his favourite spectator sport. Still, at this rate the guys would have come and gone before his little peacock had selected which colour socks to wear. He moved over to the walk-in closet and plucked several items from the rack, placing them on the bed. Ezra stopped his dithering to inspect the selection.

"Really?"

Vin nodded.

"Not too casual?"

Vin thought back to the wife beater and jeans of yesterday and felt his blood rush south. He stalked toward Ezra like a big cat …a hungry big cat.

Ezra's eyes widened. "What did Ah say?….Vin?….Mr Tanner!…Oh my!"

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"Mr Tanner if my Acadian rolls are not cooked in time I will hold you solely responsible!"

"Ain't what you were holdin' a few minutes ago Ez" Vin smirked as he performed the twins diaper duties. Ezra didn't reply but Vin thought he heard a slight whimper. And at least it had left less time to fuss over clothes.

"VIN!" Ezra's yell came hot on the heels of the knock at the door.

"GOT IT" Vin yelled back and said a little prayer as he went to let the boys in. He swore that if Nathan lectured them on how unhealthy fried chicken and hush puppies were he would throttle him. Same would go for anyone who trespassed on his territory…that peach cobbler was his!

Ezra couldn't believe it. They were enjoying themselves. The compliments on his cooking had made him blush and Nathan in particular had seemed quite impressed by his bourbon pecan cake. Chris had almost polished off the jambalaya single handed and JD and Buck had actually eaten the rolls instead of throwing them at each other as was their normal routine. In fact he doubted whether he would ever be able to get out of cooking duties at their gatherings again.

His favourite moment, however, as it had been when he was a child, was the serving of the king cake. He had explained the tradition of secreting a token or coin within the cake but he didn't tell them that he had already decided who would receive it. It was his party after all! He was impressed at the speed with which JD had picked up on his warning signal not to reveal the special quality of the silver quarter he had held aloft. JD would never lose another coin toss again…as long as he always called heads!

After the meal was cleared away, with everyone claiming something to take home with them, and Vin drinking a dose of pepto bismol - well he had been warned…a whole peach cobbler! They turned their thoughts to their upcoming talk at the ladies circle. Deciding who would talk about what was tricky since every time they mentioned the babies JD would start to stammer and Josiah and Nathan kept correcting the others name choice. By this time the babies were settled and asleep, except for Ethan who wouldn't rest. With apologies that he didn't really mean since time was running out and he was grasping at any chance to be with his infants Ezra picked up the little boy and began to rock him.

That's when it happened.

The conversation going on around him stopped dead and all eyes went in shock to the small bundle. Then up to an equally stunned Ezra and back once again to Ethan.

"Da -da….da - da"

"Oh My!"

TBC

A/N Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter may be the last, or if not then definitely the penultimate. To any southerners out there I got the dishes off of a website for southern cooking so apologies for any errors or if the health & safety police have done away with the coin in the cake thing.


	14. Chapter 14

Rock a Bye Baby Chapter fourteen

Disclaimer: Not only don't I own the seven or the show I don't even own any babies of my own (thank goodness!)

A/N It's a bit longer than usual but it's the final chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

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"No Josiah, I don't know why our babies haven't talked yet, or why the others have." JD blew his black bangs out of his eyes in exasperation. As their computer expert the others had automatically been coming to him for answers. Well he had certainly proved his lack of robotics knowledge when he had 'killed' Junior but that was a confession that wouldn't even make it to his Parish Priest's ear let alone his colleagues. He had his suspicions as to why first Ezra's Ethan and then both Vin's Alice and Ezra's Victoria had begun saying Da Da on a semi regular basis and neither Josiah and Nathan's Joseph nor his and Buck's charges had but to offer that conclusion would also involve admitting that his and Buck's own babysitting had been less than perfect which would lead to questions. Questions he was too embarrassed to answer. After all he was meant to be the conscientious one, not the baby killer.

With a sigh he went back to polishing his part of the speech they were all due to give the Ladies Circle next day. How could he face all those mothers knowing that he wasn't fit to care for a hamster let alone a baby! He quickly glanced round almost convinced that his guilt was somehow written large on his face in big red letters but thankfully everyone else seemed to be doing the same as he was. He could see that Josiah had his psychology books out. It looked like the poor ladies were in for quite a lecture, JD mused as Josiah completed another page of writing and set it atop the growing stack of paper. With any luck the women would either be asleep by the time his own turn came or so grateful that 'Siah had finished that he'd be able to get away with reading the phone directory and receive applause. Perhaps there was a good reason that Josiah was going early on, after Chris. Nathan, too, was writing diligently, but he was also crossing a lot of stuff out. You would have thought that the medic would have the easiest job, after all he lectured all of them on a regular basis about…well about just about everything actually. JD suppressed a snigger as Nathan scrunched up his latest attempt and tossed it to the waste basket. It missed and joined the growing puddle of paper around the nearly empty receptacle. Domestic Services would not be happy. It also explained why, despite his impressive height, the medic had never been invited to play for the Agency basketball team.

JD's curious people watching didn't find any surprises as he took in Buck's preparations. Words were never his room mate's strong point, but women were. By the way he was practising his seduction techniques on a nearby coat stand it looked like he was expecting to do more writing at the event than before it….all numerical.

Poor Vin, thought JD as he twirled his chair round to spy on Vin in the break room pouring himself yet another cup of coffee, a morose expression on his face and a faraway look in his eye. It was uncannily similar to the expression on Ezra's face as he sat by his twins cribs gently fussing over them. Neither man was coping too well with the fact that tomorrow was the last day of the experiment. He suspected that they also resented having to go out in public instead of spending those last few precious hours as a family. It sounded stupid even inside his own head but JD reckoned that everyone else sensed that this had meant so much more to both men than it had to anyone else, and since there had been no teasing for the pair's deep feelings he also knew that, on some level at least, like him, they all respected the attachments formed. JD wished he could go back and begin again because the pleasure the two had received from the infants had made him a little jealous if truth be told. He noticed that neither man was making any attempt to prepare for tomorrow's event. He wasn't surprised since he knew that Ezra, their wordsmith extraordinary, didn't need to prepare, it was probably all there in his head already, and Vin would say as little as possible in as little time as possible, blush furiously and run like hell for cover.

JD didn't know how Chris was preparing but from the occasional sounds of irritation and heavy objects hitting immovable surfaces he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He wasn't the only one; Chris's office door remained un-knocked on all morning.

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Judge Travis stood in the wings of the auditorium and prayed fervently that his wife, who was at that moment introducing both the baby care scheme and it's participants, hadn't bitten off more than she could chew. He glanced with trepidation at his men, and their charges and prayed even harder as he watched the Larabee glare increase in ferocity and the Wilmington leer settle into place. JD, he noted with a sympathetic sigh looked as nervous as he had when giving his first opening address in court and Vin looked like a startled doe in a hunter's sights. Considering that they were different species the resemblance to Bambi was uncanny! only Josiah and Nathan looked relatively calm which was to be expected; they were, after all, the sensible members of the team. He doubted very much whether they had made any mistakes during their custodianship…though by the way Josiah was clutching baby Michael's, (or was it Joseph? He could never seem to remember) carrier he seemed to be afraid of his baby disappearing right in front of his eyes.

And as for Standish, well it was never possible to tell how the con man was feeling or what he was thinking, and looking at the figure before him it was also nigh on impossible to tell that it was Ezra Standish at all - which, he supposed, proved that the disguise was successful. It would have been far too risky for their undercover agent to have stood on stage as his recognizable self, indeed it would have been an invitation to a bullet at some future date but it was still disconcerting to look into grey-blue eyes instead of pale green and watch a still elegant hand put last minute touches to dark blond hair and an off the rack suit and tie. If appearances were, as Ezra frequently expounded, everything then their sartorially elegant and distinctively handsome agent had become completely ordinary, completely forgettable. Even the man's posture had slipped and in doing so somehow diminished his presence; and as the southerner grinned at a comment from Buck Travis could see that the gold tooth, too, had been covered for the occasion. It always amazed him when he saw the lengths the man would go to in order to be someone else but then his very life often depended on it so it wasn't surprising that he did it well. It always gave him the uneasy feeling, though, that he didn't really know who the real Ezra Standish was, that his whole life was a disguise so successfully applied that there wasn't a real Ezra anymore. He had once made that, in his opinion very profound, observation to Evie. She had openly laughed at him, telling him that all he had to do was look…and then when he thought he saw the truth, look again and if what he saw matched up with what he heard then it was sure to be a lie. His wife could be a little bit strange now and then, but then that was why he loved her. Though at the moment as he watched Chris Larabee about to step on stage the look of betrayal and the vengeful glitter in the clear cold eyes on the normally taciturn man's face didn't bode well for future budget negotiations and he wished that Evie had focused her attentions on her flower arranging or Bridge Club. Hell, he'd only just finished finagling the justification for the damned southerner's Jag!

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"And now, ladies, and gentlemen" Evie indicated the smattering of men in the audience acknowledging that it wasn't just women who were primary carers in today's world. "I am delighted to introduce the leader of the team chosen for this pivotal and inspired project. A man who has faced some of the most hazardous situations and ruthless villains imaginable in order to keep the streets of Denver safe for us and our children. Please just bear in mind that he hasn't yet faced anything as terrifying as a room full of women so please be gentle with him!" As the laughter bubbled up Evie beamed and indicated to the side of the stage. "May I introduce the leader of ATF Team Seven, Christopher Larabee."

As the applause began the tall and black clad form of 'The Bad Element' as he had been nicknamed by those who thought they knew him strode seemingly confidently across the stage…and if anybody noticed the slight stumble that may or may not have been due to a push from his oldest friend they would never have the guts to comment on it. For his part Chris had an almost overwhelming desire to be somewhere else, anywhere else, and preferably with his mommy.

Part of Chris's brain helpfully pointed out that usually when he was sitting under a spotlight in a large open space and terrified out of his wits he was being interrogated by the bad guys…ahh the good old days! Of course the whole point with the bad guys was to say as little as possible while in this case his carefully planned speech had just gone completely out of his head. Against all his better judgement he decided to speak from his heart rather than his brain - it had turned to mush anyway and wasn't being much help.

"Thank you for inviting us to speak to you today. I can't honestly say that it was our decision…we tend to be a little bit anti social, which I guess is how we got in this position in the first place" He hoped that their laughter was a good sign, and Evie's encouraging smile from his right was welcome so he carried on.

"We were chosen for this project because we didn't seem to display enough of a caring attitude toward the public, to people just like you. I think that they got that wrong. The very reason that we do what we do is to protect people. To reduce the threat on the streets. If any of you have had your purse snatched by an unarmed punk then we may well be the reason that they were unarmed and though we couldn't stop the crime it could have been much worse. If there was a plot to blow up the building you work in or the plane you have flown on and it came to nothing because the explosives were intercepted then that was us. But our success comes at a price. When we are doing our job it is all we see and all we hear. To do any less would be to court tragedy; and our adrenalin is too high for being nice. So it's not that we don't care that we can be brusque or unsociable it's because we DO care."

As he paused for breath Chris was astounded by the roar of applause in his ears and the sight of a short but obviously heartfelt standing ovation. It brought a lump to his throat to know that he and his team were understood and appreciated. He relaxed a little and found himself going in a direction he hadn't expected.

"But chosen we were, and looking back I feel that it HAS been a good thing, though maybe not for the reasons the powers that be intended. Speaking personally I found it incredibly hard and my allotted partner spent far too much time as a single parent, and knowing his fondness for practical jokes I'll probably find myself paying for it somewhere along the line" As the crowd laughed once more Chris could almost see and hear the exchanged conspiratorial glances and sniggers from his sharpshooter and undercover agent, 'Me and my big mouth' he thought.

"But if there is one thing I've learned and would like to pass on to you all, and would ask you to pass on to your own partners it's that work isn't everything. Don't presume that the opportunities to interact with your children will be there forever because babies grow very quickly. I had a wife and child, Sarah and Adam and Adam was just five when they died…." he paused to catch his breath. He rarely mentioned his wife and child and he could actually hear the gasps from backstage as well as from the audience. But somehow this seemed the right thing to do. If just one couple got more joy from spending those special months with their baby because of his words then his Sarah and Adam's memories had been honoured. "And one thing this experience has showed me was how much I missed when Adam was a baby because I thought I was doing something more important than being a part of his life. Like I've already said, we do an important job…but so do you as parents. You do the most important job of all, just don't let the realities of life obscure that.

Thank you for your time"

With another wave of applause following him Chris left the stage to be greeted by a hug from the only other person present who had known Sarah and Adam.

"They'd be proud Cowboy."

Chris nodded thankfully at the comment and then his eyes narrowed to slits.

"Did you just call me Cowboy?!"

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"Ladies."

No-one had ever been quite able to pin point how Buck managed to make that single innocent and supposedly respectful word sound like an invitation to a night of unbridled passion but from the way more than a few of the women present suddenly sat up a little straighter and blushed a shade rosier than the heat in the air conditioned theatre accounted for it was an invitation that wouldn't necessarily be turned down - in their fantasies anyway. And after a very informative…though some might use the word boring… talk from Josiah about the needs of the parent versus the welfare of the child, without mentioning that said welfare was not best served by leaving the baby in a public building, the ladies were ready for something a little more light hearted and engaging. And they most definitely were engaged by the tall dark and handsome lothario.

"I would say that I've learned two things from this experience. Firstly that old saying 'babies are chick magnets' is highly misleading, and secondly never serve hot food to an angry woman." By the time Buck had finished regaling the women with his romantic adventure and it's consequences he had the females metaphorically eating out of the palm of his hand…and had already spotted a few possible future dates among the unmarried contingent.

Orrin Travis shook his head in resignation. Some things would never change!

After Nathan had given his little speech the women were well aware of the dangers of blindly following the advice of baby books and the need for mothers to take good care of themselves. Nathan, ever helpful, supplied the audience with a whole list of suitable foods, and relaxation techniques and herbal remedies - the yelled warning from backstage that the remedies tasted unpleasant was cut off just in time, via a hand across the mouth, to avoid offending the audience's delicate ears with just what Buck did think they tasted like.

From JD they learned more about the computerization of the simulacrums than his interaction with them although he got quite a few sympathetic responses when he admitted that he had found it difficult to give enough attention to his girlfriend and look after the baby and that he had some serious making up to do. The women had all been in similar situations and JD practically bounced as he left the stage, both grateful that his ordeal was finally over and by the look of expectation on Casey's face as she greeted his appearance offstage. He gulped as he wondered just what her expectations were and how he was going to meet them!

Vin wanted to run. He was sure that the men gathered behind him as he was being introduced and whose presence happened to cut off his only exit route only happened to be in that exact position because of coincidence - because anything else would be far too cruel. And they wouldn't be that cruel to their friend, their brother…would they?

The malicious gleam in more than one eye? - merely another coincidence.

This nudge was a damn sight harder than the one that had forced Chris Larabee on stage, but then it had to be since Vin was holding onto the nearest solid object in an attempt to remain where he was. That the solid object he was clinging to was his lover was his big mistake because it was Ezra that gave him the push forward. The resultant laughter as he staggered onto the stage nearly had him heading straight back the other way but a quick glance at the Larabee double death glare - the strongest one he possessed and normally reserved for serial killers and FBI directors (especially those east of the Mississippi) - pushed him forward as much as Ezra's elegant….and soon to be broken…hand had.

The audience laughter soon turned to respectful silence and the occasional ahhs as Vin told of his experiences with little Alice. For the first time that afternoon the ladies got a real taste of what it was like, and what was involved in caring for one of the simulacrums. They were amazed at the level of emotional attachment that the soft spoken Texan had for the infant and a few tears were shed at his admittance that the experience had reminded him of his own dead mother.

Ezra Standish was no less terrified than the others had been, though he still had enough common sense to stand as far away from Vin as possible when he came off stage. Ezra was a con-artist, like his mother, albeit a legal one. Instead of conning people for money he conned criminals for the government. At least that was how he saw it. In essence he lied for a living. What he did not do was walk out in front of a hall full of strangers and talk about himself and his feelings. It would be so much easier to tell an amusing and totally fake anecdote or two about his month's experiences; after all Maude had been doing something similar all his life. Yet how could he give less of himself than the others had? He had been no less shocked than the others when Chris had mentioned Sarah and Adam and Vin had spoken straight from the heart with an honest eloquence that had made him proud of the man who had given him that heart. But how could he convey his experiences, weeks that he would treasure for ever, without giving away too much of himself…something he just couldn't do, had never done.

Before he could bring his own internal argument to a satisfactory conclusion he found his name, or rather the name of his persona, being called and like Pavlov's dog he responded by walking to his doom, or the podium as most would call it.

"Ladies and gentlemen may I present our final team member, and one who was presented with the most challenging task of not only living for a month as a single parent but being randomly allocated with twins. For security reasons this team member's name has been altered but will you please welcome Patrick Williamson."

Both Evie and Orrin and the other members of the team were surprised at the lack of a southern accent as Ezra began to speak. The man really did cover all his bases thought Orrin with admiration. He just hoped that the mercurial agent didn't do or say anything too outrageous. With Standish you never knew quite what you were going to get.

Suddenly, as he looked out over the sea of faces; faces of all races and all creeds Ezra knew exactly what he wanted to say. And spotting an older blond woman dressed impeccably in her trademark Chanel sitting in the third row he knew who he wanted to say it to.

"My first comment on reaching this point was to be the same polite greeting that I have heard from everyone else - hello Ladies and Gentlemen. But you are not ladies and gentlemen…or at least that is not all you are. When you gave birth, or took responsibility for the children in your care you traded that title in for a far more prestigious, yet highly underrated one of parent. From what my experiences with my Ethan and Victoria have taught me the role of parent is fraught with many hardships and unbelievable joys. Yet I would be a fool to stand here and claim a fellowship with you all based on one month with two simulacrums. As much pleasure and fond memories as they have brought me I always knew that they would not stay; that they would not grow. I would not have the responsibility or the privilege of setting them on the journey of life. I do, however, have one perspective to share with you all; that of a child. An only child of a single parent. I have reached that stage of my life that all of your children are working towards, that of adulthood. And no doubt many of you are unsure as to your own capabilities in successfully shepherding your own offspring to that stage without making mistakes that may result in losing their respect and their love along the way"

Ezra noted the many nods of agreement at that statement and his own mother raised a quizzical eyebrow, though he fancied that he spied a hint of unease in her normally bland expression. "My mother was far from perfect in her maternal capacity and her custodianship of both my physical and moral upbringing was positively littered with mistakes that would make some of you gasp in horror. I mean no disrespect to my sainted parent in my less than perfect portrayal of her efforts as a mother, indeed I know for a fact that she would agree with my summation"…Ezra knew that he was right about that because Maude was smirking at him from her covert position. He resisted the impulse to smile at her. None of this was news to her; the one thing that they had never denied each other was being painfully honest about the status of their relationship.

"For every mistake you can think of making with your own children she has made the same with me and more besides. Yet here I am, I survived both my childhood and my mother….and what is more miraculous is that she survived me…Say hello Mother"

Ezra almost laughed out loud at the look of consternation that briefly flashed across the ageless (thanks to cosmetic surgery courtesy of husband number four) face. She recovered quickly however and stood to receive warm laughter and a round of applause before sitting down and giving her darlin' boy a look that promised everlasting affection and which Ezra knew to actually promise a painful retribution. She would no doubt hit him where it really hurt…his bank book.

"And the amazing thing about our relationship is, that despite both of our faults and mistakes, I love her dearly. That has never changed. It didn't change when she left me with relatives because of her work or when she couldn't be with me at Christmas or on my birthday. Just knowing that despite everything she did wrong the fact that she did love me in her own way was enough. In the end all you have to do is love your child…as long as we know that we are loved everything else can be forgiven. Children never expect perfection from their parents; that is a burden they place on themselves" He tilted his head to one side for a moment and then added with seeming seriousness "I would recommend, however, that you never attempt to dress your boy children in a frilly dress and ringlets to impress the mother of a potential spouse…it can leave your offspring quite traumatised and with a lifelong aversion to Barbie dolls. Thank you."

The laughter and applause surprised Ezra. Usually honesty got him a far more hostile reception. His eyes connected with his mother's and he saw how much his admission of his love had affected her though anyone else would be hard pressed to spot it. He felt that although they seldom verbalised their feelings for each other she deserved his accolade. He was aware of her visit to Nettie's on his and Vin's behalf. And her acceptance of his relationship with the Texan had been a priceless gift.

As the seven stood on the stage to receive the applause of the audience they had mixed emotions. Some were just glad that it was all over while for some this last event heralded a feeling of near grief. Even Orin was sensitive enough to Vin and Ezra's need to spend some time alone with their 'babies' and after the mandatory teasing of their performances they were allowed to get away. They gratefully escaped and spent the rest of the day indulging themselves in the fantasy of parenthood and loving each other when the pain of imminent loss became too much. Chris, too, managed to escape back to the office while the others found themselves hustled into a show and tell session with interested members of the audience. Nathan's muttered 'Where is a good arms case when you need one' was echoed unanimously as the horde of women descended on them and their offspring.

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Ezra carefully folded the last of the baby clothes and laid them neatly in the storage box on his bed. It was surprising just how much one could acquire in so little time he noted with detachment as he gazed at the tiny outfits and the delicate baby shoes. It was a detachment that he was having a very hard time holding onto. The babies had been taken away earlier that morning and he had spent most of the subsequent time wandering his overly silent home…no, he thought. Somehow it didn't feel like a home anymore, or rather it had only begun to feel that way when Vin and the babies were there. It was once again merely the cold shell that he slept in. He wished that Vin could be with him now but the rules stated that the pick up points be the same as the delivery ones and so Vin had to hand over Alice at Chris's ranch. He would be here soon though and Ezra comforted himself with that knowledge. He reached back into the carton and extracted two pairs of baby shoes. They were so delicate, just like Ethan and Victoria had been. Like his sister must have been.

God it hurt!

Ezra clutched the shoes to his chest as he finally let the tears flow in silence, as much for the sister he had never known and for the babies he would never have as for the two pretend babies that had held all his dreams and in uniting him with Vin made some of them come true. He registered the familiar scent of his lover just before the strong arms slipped round his waist and pulled him back into the warm and welcome torso. Ezra turned round and buried his head into Vin's shoulder. He didn't need to be told that Vin had had a similar reaction; he could hear it in the hoarse voice that whispered comfort to him and who truly understood his sorrows as he did in turn.

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The office next morning had had an unusually subdued atmosphere as the agents gathered together to resume their normal routines. Everyone was careful to go out of their way to avoid upsetting their two most affected friends. Both Vin and Ezra appreciated their concern…until around lunchtime when the novelty of their attitude had long worn off and they were beginning to feel a little less grateful. The trouble was that neither man could think of a way to change that attitude without offending their well meaning brothers. Every part of their routine had become dominated by the care of the babies and being reminded that they were gone on such a constant basis was not helping. They needed things at the office to get back to normal…home was the place for them to console each other.

Their opportunity to lighten the atmosphere came after lunch when the ultra observant duo spotted something odd.

"Buck?" Ezra's curious tone alerted the rest of the men and Buck who had just returned from a half day of 'personal time' felt like a rabbit in headlights.

"Ezra." Buck smiled nervously. The undercover agent's jade eyes were twinkling and his Texan partner in crime was smirking…that was never a good combination. He looked quickly to his best buddy, his room mate, his most trustworthy ally for support and an explanation. JD burst out laughing… and was rewarded with a Wilmington glare which, unlike the Larabee glare, was about as intimidating as a kitten's frown.

Taking pity on his friend JD rubbed his finger across his top lip and supplied helpfully, "You've got a moustache."

"Well of course I've got a…" Buck's exasperated comeback went unfinished as Josiah held a hand mirror in front of the man's face and Buck beheld said moustache in all it's glory. All it's greyish white and greasy glory!

Buck clamped his hand over the offending feature and closed his eyes briefly in humiliation. He thought that all those stares he was getting in the elevator and the reception area had been admiration for his stunning looks and physique, and his new green and magenta striped shirt. How could he have been so stupid?! The session with Bobby Pickles and his special effects people had lasted longer than he had planned but they had promised him that his skin had been left free of the gunk they had plastered all over it.

"Is it some kind of new wax treatment for aging moustaches?" Buck almost grabbed the chance of having a believable excuse offered by the southerner but the look of disbelief in his own statement writ large in the man's eyes and echoed in everyone else's plus the horror of having to admit to cosmetic intervention let alone that his moustache was not always perfect prevented him from doing so. With nothing else to say his mouth simply opened and closed like a stranded fish until JD, still chuckling began to reveal the story behind Buck's bizarre appearance.

Buck's automatic instinct was to warn his friend that if he told that part of the tale his own errors of baby care would also come to light. Then he remembered just who had gotten him into the situation he now found himself in…and kept quiet. Sure enough JD's enthusiasm got ahead of his common sense and he regaled them all with Buck's promise to have his head cast for one of Bobby's displays. As the laughter died away came the question that was the inevitable result.

"But why would Buck owe YOUR friend a favour JD?" Vin asked innocently, suspecting something even more interesting lay beneath the tale… Buck was looking smug and Buck seldom looked smug without good reason.

"I….That is I….y…you see…"

"Games up JD" boomed back Buck heartily now that the attention had turned from his own plight. "Might as well fess up."

JD sighed and dropped back into his seat in defeat. The only good thing to come of his confession he thought to himself later, was that at least it had made Vin and Ezra smile. It was worth the humiliation for that. JD's opinion changed slightly as the next few days found various toy robots, copies of Isaac Asimov Robot novels and computer generated WANTED posters adorning their youngest agent's desk. And he swore that if he ever found the person who had put out the advertisement for a doll's hospital with his cell phone number then he would show them just how good he really was at breaking things! - and he didn't mean dolls.

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The conference room was unnaturally silent as the seven members of team 7, and Orrin and Evie Travis awaited the results of the baby experiment. They had all greeted, once again, Moira Carter, the woman who had given them their introductory talk just over a month ago.

"Mrs Travis, gentlemen. Well I must say that collating and interpreting your team's statistics has been quite the labour of love. You are certainly full of surprises that's for sure." JD cast the smiling woman a quick fear filled glance. There was no way she could have known, was there?

"Firstly I would like to thank you all for participating in the scheme. I know it couldn't have been easy but the data we got from your simulacrums will go a long way to helping us further improve our service." Moira smiled even wider as she added "We may even be branching out into the leisure sector. We have had some interesting enquiries about a setting up a franchise company with a local businesswoman, a Mrs Standish - Schwartz. Ezra groaned and placed a hand over his eyes to blot out the stares that were no doubt fixed on him. He would be having serious words with Maude later. Ms Carter stifled her own chuckle as she got down to business.

"Very well gentlemen, the results." All eyes were quickly fixed back on the woman who held their futures…or at least that portion of them that might possibly be spent on the therapists couch - in her hands.

"I will go through them pair by pair. Firstly Mr Sanchez and Mr Jackson. Over all you both did quite well. The baby was mostly fed on time and diapers were changed within acceptable time parameters" Nathan and Josiah exchanged pleased looks. After JD and Buck's fiasco their own little mishap might escape notice after all. "However…" two faces fell as Moira continued. "While the computerized tasks were performed adequately some questions were raised by your log book. As I am sure you are aware the log books, unlike the personal journals, are a part of the assessment criteria and to be honest gentlemen if I didn't know better I would say that we are dealing with two different babies here. At no point in your recordings did you manage to agree on a single name for your baby and while one of you seems to have been following our guidelines the other seems to have taken independent advice resulting in several missed bonding opportunities." Nathan glared at Josiah. Unlike the profiler he had soon given up on the books that told him to let a child cry…not because he thought it was wrong but he just couldn't stand the noise. Josiah meanwhile rewarded his old friend with an equally put out look. The name he had chosen was perfectly acceptable. He hadn't seen why Nathan's choice should be the only one to use!

"The most interesting entry, however, is the point at which, for a short time anyway, the baby managed to acquire a mother as well as two fathers." This one had puzzled them at the office she admitted to herself as she passed over the photocopied entry of the log…

It had been the day that Josiah had lost the baby. In a little girl's untidy printed scrawl they could clearly read the word MINE entered into the logbook along with her name, the book which had been tucked into the side of the crib.

"Oh Lord!" Josiah intoned as Nathan slapped him on his head and everyone in the know burst out laughing. They laughed even harder when Moira noted that whilst that portion of the day had been a mystery, from an emotional caring point of view the baby had never been cared for better, receiving lots of contact and support even though the computer hadn't registered any diaper changes or feeding.

"Overall gentlemen I would say that while you would both make good parents I would advise against taking on that role as a couple. You have, however, passed the test and will be exempted from psychiatric counselling " Nathan and Josiah managed to smile at her joke; they were just pleased not to have done worse.

"Mr Larabee and Mr Tanner. Well what can I say… outstanding work gentlemen. Especially you Mr Tanner, your baby was exceptionally well cared for and I would go so far as to guess that giving her back would not have been easy" Vin's blush and shy nod confirmed her suspicions that, like some of her past clients, the end of the task was not a welcome event. She didn't want to embarrass the man any further so turned to Chris.

"Mr Larabee. I am especially grateful to you for seeing this task through to the end. It must not have been easy for you."

"No Ma'am."

"From the log book I noted that as the project progressed you became more involved… that is actually quite a normal reaction and I would say that you did a fine job.""Couldn't let Vin down."

Moira turned back to Vin who was now blushing even deeper at his friend's support. She had to word this carefully so as not to upset the man. There were very few people, male or female, that put as much of themselves into the project as he and Mr Standish had and they were very often people who were for whatever reason unable to have children of their own. Telling him that he would make a wonderful father was not a wise move however true it might be.

"Mr Tanner I have to say that your personal score was one of the highest we have ever recorded and I don't hesitate to recommend that if you ever get tired of law enforcement that working with children would be an ideal career choice."

Thankfully Vin was already blushing as deep as he was able otherwise he would have further embarrassed himself at the round of applause that broke out. The applause soon turned to sniggering as Moira turned to Buck and JD with a disappointed shaking of her head.

"Oh Mr Dunne. Did you really think that you would get away with it." She fought the urge to laugh as the experienced Federal agent turned into a naughty schoolboy before her eyes. "I must say that whoever you got to re-animate the baby did an excellent job; obviously someone in the trade. My congratulations on your ingenuity. May I ask just what you did to deactivate the simulacrum in the first place? It's just that the lab boys were curious." She bit her lip as the whole tale was told again with Buck, JD noted, giving no help whatsoever. Moira wasn't surprised. The scheme they had rolled out at a major computer design firm had been a logistical nightmare with one infant being returned with the ability to spin her head 360 degrees and sing show songs. It seemed that computer geniuses found the challenge to meddle irresistible.

"Well, apart from your Do It Yourself attempts Mr Dunne I have to say that your care of the infant was not ideal, yours either Mr Wilmington" she added as Buck smirked again. "In fact at one point I would say that the baby was either thrown or dropped and several pages of the log book are empty indicating, along with the computer data that you were not there to care for him at all." She watched each man glare accusingly at the other with remembrances of assuming that each would watch the infant while they went out on dates.

"I am afraid that you have failed the task gentlemen. It is our recommendation, approved by Judge Travis, that you attend six counselling sessions with the Staff counsellor." She was a hardened professional and the two sets of puppy dog eyes didn't faze her one bit. She turned to her final candidate.

"Mr Standish, you have the admiration and thanks of both myself and my data collectors." Being said hardened professional Moira Carter forced herself to ignore how well the rosy pink blush went with the pale jade eyes and reached out to shake the elegant man's hand. "Thanks to the data we recovered from your care of Ethan and Victoria we now have benchmarks set for the care of both twins and the performance of single parents." She waited for the applause to die down and couldn't resist adding her own handclap to it. Seeing that the man was highly embarrassed she continued in a businesslike fashion.

"Your performance was not perfect…but I would doubt that perfection would be possible in raising children - no parent I know has achieved it yet" she saw the southerner relax a little. Odd that telling someone they weren't perfect made them happy but still…

"There were some missed changes and one occasion of neglect although the log book confirms that this was due to illness. We also noted that both you and Mr Tanner have made entries in each others logs which is encouraging. It shows teamwork and a willingness to share burdens which is a healthy attitude to have. We also noted a couple of entries by your mother and you and Mr Tanner were the only two to introduce your offspring to those around you and have them witness it. The most telling factor in your task was the emotional wellbeing side. You and Mr Tanner are the first participants to achieve the maximum simulacrum function - that of speech. Only the highest levels of care enable the computer chip to trigger that function. Congratulations Mr Standish, you passed with flying colours and both you and Mr Tanner scored the highest we have ever seen at this establishment."

After Moira had left and Buck and JD had been given a not too serious dressing down by the Judge, and their appointment times the points were calculated on an individual basis and word was passed that Ezra Standish and Vin Tanner were the joint highest scorers - the betting pool experienced a flurry of activity.

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EPILOGUE

It had been two months since the end of the baby experiment. Two months which had seen Vin and Ezra's relationship go from strength to strength. So much so that they announced one morning that they were planning on buying a house together. They figured that if Buck and JD could get away with living together without repercussions or rumours then so could they. Their plans to buy their dream house were altered slightly when Chris offered them a portion of his land to build their own home on and many a get together at the saloon was soon dominated by blueprints and building specifications. The only low point for the lovers was the empty feeling that they both experienced without their infants but the sudden and unexpected visit of Nettie Wells to Ezra's home one night a month after the end of the experiment gave them hope that at least part of their family would someday be restored to them. It was early days yet and Ezra was still angry on Vin's behalf while Vin had lost the admiration he had held for the old woman. But she had made the first move and seemed willing to try to change. Whether she was able to was something that only time would tell. A much more positive outcome was the request from the domestic abuse refuge for their help around the home after they had made their donation of clothing and accessories. And their help also with the women who had sought sanctuary there. Positive male role models were needed to give the women confidence that not all men were like their own abusers. And when a man and his little boy turned up with nowhere to go after fleeing a violent wife the two men joined forces with Evie to set up a male refuge.

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"Come on guys it's this way, just round the corner."

"Have either of you seen it yet brother JD?" asked Josiah in response to his young friend's enthusiastic urgings. He noted that Buck seemed a little less gung-ho about their lunchtime trip.

"No, not yet. Today's the first day. Bobby said that it should be on display in the reception area so we won't actually have to enter the convention."

"What is the convention JD?" Vin, like the rest of the team who were following their youngest, had been curious as to what plans Bobby had for the replica he had taken of Buck's head. Buck's claim that it must be for some sort of dating agency convention or an armed forces recruitment drive was treated with appropriate contempt but nobody had been able to find out any details. Bobby hadn't even given them the address until an hour ago by which time the man was already half way across the Atlantic - a fact that made Buck rather nervous.

"I rang the hotel but they just said it was a national medical conference. I didn't think to ask anything else."

Buck perked up a little. Buck the surgeon; Buck with the caring bedside manner; Buck, the after in a cosmetic surgery comparison! He liked it!

"Well I don't…more like Buck the 'before'" Chris's mumbled reply made Buck realise that he had spoken out loud.

They reached the plush and expensive hotel but couldn't see the sign advertising the event due to several people standing in front of it. There was a banner but it had become twisted in the breeze. Still none the wiser the team trooped into the lobby.

"NO! No no no no!" Buck's face paled at the sight before him.

Nathan and Josiah stared in fascinated horror while Chris, Vin and Ezra immediately pulled out their phones to take pictures. It was a feat that only Chris actually managed due to Vin and Ezra's need to hold each other upright, their laughter threatening to cut off their breathing.

JD knew without a doubt that he was a dead man.

As Chris moved closer the sensors picked up the movement and Buck's very recognizable features attached to the body of what at first glance appeared to be an oversized tadpole began to perform it's welcome routine. The real Buck whimpered softly.

"HEY! Welcome to the tenth annual National Convention for the Eradication of Erectile Dysfunction. I'm Bucky the Sperm and together we can work towards making sure that little swimmers like me get the chance to do what a sperm's gotta do." With that Bucky wiggled both his tail and his moustache and gave a saucy wink.

Buck turned to the rest of the guys who were in various stages of collapse and his jaw dropped as he heard his oldest friend talking into the phone.

"Hey Inez it's Chris Larabee, you just have got to come and see this!"

JD revised his earlier opinion. They were ALL dead men.

FIN

A/N Thank you all for reading my rather odd little story. I hope you enjoyed it and it made you chuckle.


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